I hear often from men who started using our site that they don’t get good response from women, and it’s frustrating. The reason is that they come to EM with expectations from pay per letter (PPL) international dating sites, and think that they can behave the same way here, as they were there — write whatever you want, without thinking, ask for anything that pleases you, and get lovely, happy, excited responses back.
For a long time already I have been writing that PPL dating sites are not made to connect you with women and help you build a relationship — they are money-making venues.
When you are shedding $5 per letter or $2 per minute of chat (it doesn’t matter if you are paying less or more, the essence of your communication is still the same), or $50 for a 10-minute video session that you can only ever afford once a month (when Skype is free), you are simply paying someone to talk to you, and sure, they will be nice to you, no matter what you say.
(Especially if it’s a faceless substitute who is talking to you, who has no vested interest in your “relationship” except getting paid for writing to you, and having you among dozens of his/her assigned profile’s “admirers” — read here in detail, how it works.)
But once you come to EM, things are 180 degrees different. You are talking to real women, and they are seeking not just $0.50 commission from each letter, but a decent man to give their hearts and bodies to, and hopefully cook him meals, bear his children, and share his bed for the rest of their lives. The stakes are higher. You cannot have sloppy photos in your profile, or request nude pictures from her, or discuss your sex life with your previous girlfriend. (If you think it’s a stretch, read this story).
You are actually courting a woman, who can at any second get offended, or upset with something you said or suggested, or implied, or may be there was a double meaning. She may not like your worn T-shirt when you talk to her on Skype (for free). She may be put off by the fact you were on the site but didn’t answer her letter, or answered it in 3 days instead of immediately. In short, it’s a relationship with a woman, as you know it.
It is not a PPL letter-writer, who is there to entertain you, tell you sweet nothings, and respond cheerfully after you have disappeared for 2 weeks, as if nothing happened. It doesn’t work like this with real human beings.
Dealing with PPL sites is probably similar to having sex with robots, or, think of a simpler example, your GPS. Did your GPS ever got mad at you for not listening to its directions? Imagine a real woman in its place with a map and a heart inside her chest. That’s about the type of difference you get between “pay per letter” and sites where you freely share and communicate.
If you are used to the PPL type of behavior (and most men get caught in pay-per-letter dating sites when they initially look at the option of meeting women internationally), then you have no skills to date women online, and you might mess up your new connections. You have to forget the attitude of “they just want to get out of their ****hole”, and realize that Slavic women you are talking to are no different from women in your office or your neighbors, they just live in a different country and watch different TV stations.
But they use the same brands of washing machines and soup powder, people drive the same cars in the streets, they even watch the same movies and listen to the same music. Sure, there is a local content as well, but they are aware of your culture and achievements — while you are probably not aware of theirs.
Stop being arrogant, and read at least Wikipedia articles about the countries where women you are talking to come from. Read some posts on this blog about women from Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus.
Start over and realize that you are entering a territory where “mail order brides” don’t exist.
Welcome to #emdating.
Read also:
- NEW! Hilarious Ads of Marriage Agencies in Ukraine (selected from 222 vacancies)
- Is PPL dating a scam?
- What is PPL dating? Pay per letter and pay per minute relationships
- Pay per letter dating sites — dinosaurs of mail order bride thinking
Basically EM is here to connect people for serious relationships, which possibly turned out to be a friendship, marriage or something different. If you just want to have some chat with a woman online for a short period of time to build up your ego-centered happiness, do not waste time here. Having a satisfied reply (or even having A reply at all) from a woman that you are interested is not guaranteed since a two-way attraction/interest is a must in a regular relationship. You pay EM for reaching the contact information of people not for having nice replies. I think… Read more »
PPL sites are complete waste of time!. In an age of free Wifi, free translation, viber etc , why the need for PPL. ???
Adriano,
You are right.
But some men seem to still believe in “mail order brides” 🙂
This advise is very true. I have been on several of these type of sites and tried with just two women. In both cases I had no way to verify if I was in fact speaking the the woman I wanted, and they made no arrangements to prove this to me. Fortunately, I did not spend much money and started to stay away from those sites completely.
This is what I recommend to all guys trying to find the right woman for you.
I am a new member to Elena’s models site. I am registered in one of these PPL sites since August 2014…made six trips to Ukraine….met about 20 women in person…sent hundreds of letters and it cost me thousands of dollars to use the site as they also charge for getting a woman’s contact information. The site claims that women do not get paid for using the site…it also it does not cost that much to send a letter…about $1…so if women got paid for writing me letters, they probably got paid by their marriage agency and not the site…and they… Read more »
Edward,
Thank you for your story.
I don’t believe it’s necessary to travel 6 times to meet 20 women. It’s so much simpler to talk on video chat, Skype, text, apps, and email (free and unlimited), find out more about people you are talking to, and decide who you want to meet (and who wants to meet you). There is no need to pay per letter or per minute, so you can meet on video as many times as you need before you go there. Most men who are successful on EM visit only 1 lady.
PPL, well, much to my chagrin, I was sucked into one of these and spent time and well earned money looking to talk to a real person. Funny, here they have people 18 years old sending me letters enticing me to talk with them, write them and how they can be devoted to me and ONLY to me. I ask them is this okay that I buy your email address from the broker. Many of them said yes, but it is more convenient writing here because they have translators available. Funny, I thought Bing and Google have these and, up… Read more »
I found this article very informative and helpful.
I really wish that I had found this site much earlier as I have been a member of a PPL site previously and spent a fortune. After reading your information it is now easy to see what a money making system the PPL sites are and why they string you along for so long without results. Elena’s models seems so much better and I look forward to using the well priced services 🙂
I signed up with a PPL site. Tried my best to get them to chat offsite. Since email address are blocked, I took a photo of my email and send as attachment. Can’t censor photos 🙂 Most don’t want to chat offsite and give all kinds of silly reasons. But those that are keen, well, that’s disastrous too. Those that are keen will start asking for gifts and money almost immediately. The only conclusion that I can draw from this is, most of the girls there are just there to make some money and not interested in a relationship. Stay… Read more »
Dezza,
Unfortunately, the system that PPL sites created is inherently flawed. If your mails are going to a substitute, then they are only there for the money, not for a relationship.
For as long as guys are paying for someone to talk to them (i.e. using the pay-per-message model), this will haunt them, no doubt.
Hi Elena, Your service is a welcome change to the shady business of PPL sites. It is sad that people would use the illusion of love and taking advantage of others as a means of making money, but too many men are being duped into thinking they are building a serious relationship with somebody. I hope that the women involved are not the victims as well. I have had the experience of paying to exchange letters and eventually purchasing her information, only to find she does not write via her private email. With others, there is the excuse that she… Read more »