mail-order-brides-todayEvery time I hear or read the term “mail order bride” in media, I wonder: is it purposefully used to create buzz or simply ignorance? It’s quite clear that in our times (it’s 2015, we have Internet, Facebook, apps, and mobile phones — even in small villages on tiny islands of Indonesia or Philippines) buying and selling people is illegal, and you cannot buy or order a bride.

Seriously, people, for how more longer this demeaning definition is going to be used to describe international relationships? Are we calling people working in other countries than where they had been born, “mail order workers”? Do we call people who moved to another country to live, “mail order citizens”? People move relatively freely around the globe, choosing to live where they wish to live.

History of mail order brides and today’s situation

Mail order brides were the women who sailed from Europe to marry men who went to colonize America in 1800s — men that they have never seen or met before. From these times onwards, the rules for entering a country to marry its citizen changed. You can no longer arrive to marry a person you haven’t met. If you wish to move countries to marry someone, you have to prove that you have a genuine relationship.

Have you met people who connected online and fell in love? I am pretty sure you have, although the stigma attached to online relationships somehow still is not completely dead. It appears preferable to some folk to meet in a bar in an alcohol-infused atmosphere than connect online and find a person who matches what you want in a partner and life.

International relationships vs. trafficking

International relationships have nothing to do with mail order brides or trafficking in people. Anyone who thinks they can “buy” or “order” a bride is insane or has a creepy personality bordering on sinister. The silly guys who believe they are able to acquire a woman simply by virtue of their citizenship are getting fleeced by clever businesses, giving them an illusion it’s possible. Shouldn’t we actually open up and tell the truth about what happens in romances when people connect online?

The so called mail order brides are simply women who don’t want (or can’t) find a partner in their home countries. Since it’s a global world, people travel to find jobs, and so people who cannot find a partner locally are content to meet people who live in other places, in order to find someone compatible. There are Canadian girls marrying Englishmen, Australians marrying Americans, Italians hook up with French, Japanese court Singaporeans, and every possible combination or nationalities and ethnicities has definitely happened by now, since there are already 7 billion of us on this planet, and planes fly to every country.


It’s time to realize that mail order brides are the thing of the past, and in today’s world they are no more real than Nigerian princes who need your help to wire millions of dollars. There is no need to support terms that lost any contextual meaning. You wouldn’t call a person of African descent the N-word, so stop using this offensive term when talking about international relationships.


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Think not so important how it is called – “mail order brides” or something else. The most important that it works. Thousands men and women from different countries find each other and make happy families. I have several good friends having successful experience of international dating and they spend a happy life now.


I find that such a term as “mail order bride” is not something good today. Nevertheless, I believe in such marriages, because i believe in love. And who knows, maybe my second half is somewhere on another continent …