Age difference between partners has long been a question of interest. Remember your high school days when dating someone a year senior was extremely cool. Research on age difference in couples suggests that while the desired gap for men and women is around 13-14 years on average (10-15 years), as specified in their partner preferences on online dating sites, in reality long-term pairs only have 3-4 years disparity.
Age difference in dating
The research data may be surprising, but it makes sense. When dating, we are more open to trying out new things, thus a wider gap we list as acceptable. But relationships are more than just movies and dinners, and moonlight walks on the beach. One of my most memorable experiences was dating a guy 20 years older when I was 21. He was amazing and so much more sophisticated than boys in my university group. Did it last? Of course not! I never even felt it was for real. It was what it was, an experience. We had very little to talk about or discuss, and never been very close. His friends and mine were too far apart. There was really nothing connecting us except our interest in each other.
Age difference in relationships
Other research suggests that the ideal gap in relationships is 4.4 years, and divorced people tend to have a larger disparity in subsequent marriages. In a way, this is to be expected. Young people usually pair up within their age group, as at that point in life their circle of communication is limited to people of about the same maturity. Divorced people, obviously, are older. By then our circles of acquaintances grow to be more spread through generations, and personal values and life style become more important than how old the two partners are. Still, real-life couples rarely have a generation-long discrepancy between them.
When the age difference is too large?
Most often in married couples a man is older than a woman. Many pairs continue a relationship that started back in high school, thus their difference will be smaller. It became more acceptable for both men and women to experiment with dating younger people. However, these alliances very seldom produce a committed partnership, and even more rarely survive past 10 years.
In couples where the age gap approaches generational, the older partner is under a constant and significant stress. While it may be very exciting at first, the long-term prospects of such relationships are directly affected by how self-worthy the mature spouse feels. Being afraid that your younger half may leave is likely to aid in deterioration of your marriage.
Not many people are capable of feeling like the proverbial 70-year-old billionaire, who, being asked about his marriage to an 18-year-old beauty queen, and pointed out that when he is 80, she is going to be 28, responded with, “Well, I can always marry another 18-year-old”.
Let’s be honest. Age difference in couples affects their long-term prospects. Anything over 15 years is too large a gap. If you want to play, fine, but don’t lie to yourself. There are beautiful, intelligent, caring individuals who will make great partners, and with whom you can be happy over the long haul. Give yourself a chance.
Read also:
- How to marry a woman 25 years younger
- Do these marriages last?
- How to get women to like you
- The world’s most beautiful woman is 50 years old — 2015 People’s Choice Awards
>> See all BLOG articles (in English)
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Everything depends on the way you feel. Some people at 25 feel like they are old, and some people at 50 feel like they are 18. My husband and I have the difference of 12 years. He is older. We are together for 8 years, and have children together. I rarely notice the age difference but sometimes there are moments when I feel it. He is proud to have a younger wife, and while other men of his age have grandkids, he has a newborn son. I am OK with our age difference. My grandparents had 19 years difference between… Read more »
Anastasia, you seem to be still young. This is how I felt when I was 30. At 35 views start to change. It’s not worth comparing our grandparents’ marriages with our times. The divorce rate was nearly zero at these times. I am not saying do not marry into a large age gap marriage. What I am saying, the body of research over years suggests such unions are less stable. If you are willing to play with odds, go ahead. Hopefully your marriage will grow and develop, and flourish over the many years that are to come. If not, remember… Read more »
That brings up my confidence in me and my fiancé recently being engaged. He is 8 years older than I am and I am not a teenager yet so my friends in school are making a big deal over the fact that it’s long distance and the age gap. Thank you for making a personal connection. You boosted up my confidence in the relationship.
Dear Haley. I am 16 years older than my wife and we have been married for 25 years! On numerous occasions we had to endure a long-distance relationship due to the nature of my work-but, it has endured! If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen! It’s all about trust and commitment!
thanks
Hello everyone, my name is John and I’m 69, I lost my wife, of 35 years, to cancer 8 years ago and vowed to myself never to go to a funeral again. Since that time I have dated women from 19 to 68. I have found one, she is 34 and things are progressing very well. She has never been married, does have children, but they accept me. My kids are 51, 47 and 35, they don’t have an issue with it. It’s been working extremely well for 3 years and now its time to slip a ring on. At… Read more »
Cliff, great story!
Age is a number and it is also the life experience and history you’ve accumulated and lived through. If you both accept it and live your life as a couple because you like being together and want to be together, it’s great! No one knows what comes ahead and many people live all their lives without love. If you are lucky to find it, just do your best to keep it, that’s all it is.
Cliff I am 66 and recently met a 30 y/o. Now I’ve always been athletic and stay fit. I read the article and my dreams were slipping away. I don’t know where it will go it just started BUT if she enjoys me and says I look great then let her decide. You spoke to my heart. I married a woman 10 yrs younger and she has been done with this marriage long ago. I figure if I can give this woman 15-20 good years if it works out so be it! THANKS Cliff
I am another Anastasia, not the first one who commented on the article. Elena, I agree with you 100%. 15 years is a limit. If it’s more than 15, then at some point the age difference starts to affect sex life. A healthy woman with a normal libido is sexually active until she is 45 or so. And an average man in his 60s is unfortunately not up for the challenge quite often, if not always. Men, remember: for some women this side of a relationship is very important (although for some maybe not)! At some point, you will not… Read more »
Anastasia, life&sex do not end at 45))))
I have female friends who are 50, 60 and 70+, I can assure you, sex is important for them in a relationship, although it seems that talking about it makes some people uncomfortable))
As they say in science & banking, “Gmme the numbers!” Anecdotal evidence is not valid in synthesizing human behavior, so Anna, please come up with some statistical evidence. However, if you want to stick with your advice & personal experince conclusion, come see me and I’ll straighten you out on the subject of over-the-hill, male “frequent challenge”, if you please! Plan on a long series of lessons. Smile.
I am 51 years old and my girlfriend soon to be wife is 20 years old. We just had a baby together. Let me assure you my girl friend is very happy with our sex life.
She must be Eastern European and probably poor lol
Id like you to post how happy she is when she’s 40 and you are 71. Lol
By the time any woman is 40, she is done. Why did Playboy always show 19 year olds. So what if a marriage lasts 1 year, 10 or 20, it can be fun while it lasts.
excuse me, but i’m in my 60’s enjoying a relationship for over two years with a 30 something gentlemen and he thinks i am more than he can handle at times… Joe you need to get out more
Hey susan – have you given him a child yet . . . . ?
Come on. First of all nearly 50% of marriage end in divorces anyway. And I know countless same age couples. They are always arguing and fighting. They might stay together, because of their kids, but it’s a nightmare long term. All these opinions are very very subjective. I once read a study from England concluding that a 15 year age gap gave the best chance for a relationship to survive the first five years. Unlike same age couples who have the highest divorce rate within the first five years.
Victor, whatever takes your fancy! 😀
No one cares about your life, definitely not me. You can absolutely do whatever you wish, just don’t call the young girl names when she wants to swap you for a new model in a few years. Say “thank you” for the years she gave you and let her go in peace.
I strongly agree with you – it’s very good advice and there’s no reason why a temporary arrangement could not work if it is *genuinely* to the benefit of both parties, including the proviso that both parties are happy, sincere and have their eyes open.
Stephen is a man after my own heart. I am a 52 year old man with a 33 year old fiance’ and I can assure you that in most cases, she can’t sexually keep up with me.
That’s why God gave Men a tongue 😛 and women a toy he can play with her. There’s also the “invite a younger guy in for the evening” thing. I was a cab diver and that’s more common than you may imagine. Lots of good common sense in young women hooking up with fossils. I’m a bag fan myself and more so as the years pass by.
That’s when Viagra come to rescue I guess 🙂
Elena, of course not, life and sex do not end at 45. What I was trying to say is that partners should be on the same page when it comes to sex; they should have the same drive, or about the same. And a man should be realistic if he is, let’s say, 45-50 and is looking for a woman who is 20-25 younger (sometimes more!). I see a lot of such men on this website, and I wonder if they are sane. That’s just my opinion though, if somebody thinks otherwise, good luck to him!
I think the reason you see so many men who write to girls 20-25 years younger is that they simply like to dream. They are the same guys that complain that “women don’t answer“. I do not understand it either. Nothing good can ever come out of that, even if they succeed, they are going to be the ones crying about “scams” if a girl asks to buy her an ice-cream 😉
Can a man of 33 get married to a woman with the age and live a happy life?
I don’t know, Romaric, can he? Statistically, couples with a large age difference have fewer chances to last, but nothing is impossible, right? Some people win the lottery, and chance is very slim! 🙂
You look great on your picture, but I guess you are no longer that young? 😉 Most older women hate that men like younger women. We like them not because they are younger (or we like to dream LOL). No it’s because younger women are less complicated with a lot less baggage and a lot more fun than older women. Cheers
Victor, I really don’t care what you are going to do, what kind of woman you hook up with or marry. All I say, if you go for a younger girl, be ready for the moment when she had enough of pretending she still loves you (even though she might have genuinely thought so when she married you), which is going to happen in 5-7 years, and BE READY TO LET HER GO. Don’t call her “slut” for sleeping with a young guy she felt attracted to, don’t call her “gold-digger”, don’t say she only wanted a passport, don’t say… Read more »
And not one of your pics has your husband in it. I see lots of you and your car. Lol. Not judging but went through same thing. Just like a car theres always a newer model. Just like Bulgarian wife auctions.
Jim,
Thanks for your good wishes, you are so sweet! Would be ugly to be an old nasty drug, right?
I post pics with my hubby in my Russian Insta feed for women, you guys don’t need him for inspiration, lol 😀
(But please don’t tell about it to your peers, let them think I am just another trophy wife who will soon be replaced, makes them feel more superior, fragile egos need it 😉 )
All in all, I am for getting WHAT YOU WANT — age difference or not!
The most important is that you are happy!
Elena- I couldn’t agree with you more about the advice you give for age differences-divorce statistics prove it. Of course you can always find exceptions to any rule in life as the responses show in this blog, but you’re trying to set people up for success in their marriages with statistics in their favor. A lot of people in this blog are missing your point. You’re absolutely right- guys don’t need pics of your husband for inspiration! And you’re absolutely right about fragile male egos! I love your witty sense of humor!! I am in process of joining your site,… Read more »
Thank you for the kind words, Jim!
Welcome to EM 🙂
Elena you are gorgeous! Beautiful!
Again, I strongly agree.
I’m wonderin doesn’t it depend how old you are at the start of the relationship. If you are 44 and she is 29.
There’s no doubt, aging is an accelerating process. The age difference increases in span in real terms. But anyway, Anna Nicole didn’t marry the old guy because he has a diamond hard cock. If she hadn’t of died, she would be very rich today and why not? Who are we to judge? Maybe she liked to suck flaccid penis.
I am 53 was dating a man 65. He broke things off with me to go back to his 35 year old ex girlfriend. I think it’s disgusting. He Has daughters her age.
You should be happy that you got rid off him earlier.
Am 65 and he’s 51,I love him so much,and when we met on line,he told me that he likes older women..Now I think it’s a big problem, I know he loves me in his own way..I want to work it out,any suggestions??
carolyn,
At 65 the best thing to do in a relationship is to enjoy it! 🙂 Make it the best you can, make the best of it, and don’t worry about the age difference! Good luck
Give it a chance…I am 72 and my guy is 61! We are happy with each other…and are planning a future together!
Ladies, Please understand that an age preference, if all the issues have been discussed should be a very strong one. i’m 47 and have been reviewing profiles that are as young as 29. What helps is that I’m looking for partners that will be in the medical field (as i will be) when i start my search in earnest. In my case, I am looking for a woman that wants to have a family. This is important to me as I lost my children at age 23 and have only regretted my position now. Another reason some men want that… Read more »
Robert, I get it. We all do. You said it yourself: “Another reason some men want that age gap is if she truly loves him, it is a validation for him. …For his female peers to look at him and think, “I let him get away!” Isn’t that the definition of an “arm candy”? That’s from an online dictionary: “Arm candy: a young attractive person who accompanies a usually older person at social events”. “Validation”. You may actually find what you are looking for. There are always women who are looking for the same, it just means a different thing… Read more »
Ya ok. Lol
The supposition that the marriage will on.y last a few years at best is very discouraging. I am a 49 year old man who lost his partner while she was pregnant with our first child. We had an extraordinary relationship and love( by that I mean much more than chemical attraction, we had a connection and closeness that most couples do not seem to even imagine. I have always wanted a large family but I am not looking for a healthy breeder, I am looking first and foremost for love and intimacy but long for a family as well. My… Read more »
Bill, I am sorry to hear about the terrible loss you’ve experienced in your life. But it doesn’t mean that now you somehow should take advantage of another human being to compensate for that. Would you want your daughter to marry a man 30 years her senior? It really doesn’t sound good, [not] “looking for a healthy breeder” but then you say “ideally a woman would be between the ages of 21 to 31” because otherwise “the more risk of birth defects and developmental problems”. If you want to have kids and not get divorced (you will be part of… Read more »
Bill, how come you are a doctor and don’t know that the quality of sperm in older men is not the best either and a lot of chromosomal abnormalities in the fetus are believed to be strongly associated with this factor?
Anastasia – Yes, I agree completely. Why are there so many men now around the age of 50, who want to have kids? Well, I think that question speaks for itself! The reality is that science is telling us more and more that a man’s sperm deteriorates drastically after age 45 and can produce mentally and physically defective children. Young women need to be more aware of this fact of life. I feel sorry for men like the above, but they do not seem to care how humiliating it is for a child to have a much older father when… Read more »
So judgemental. You cant speak for all kids that have older dads. Who cares what others think anyway. Raise condident mentally tough kids. My wife is 22 and I am 50 and we could care less what others think. We have a business that we run together and go out and dance till all hours of the night when we feel like it. Our tastes in music, politics, religion, business are extremely similiar. We are going to ride this till the wheels come off. Obviously I will pass to the other side before her and if so we at least… Read more »
If you are 50 and have the same taste in music and beliefs in politics as a 20 year old maybe you need to grow up and be a real man. You men can sugar coat this all you want. Everyone including yourselves know the real truth behind it all. The wheels will fall off sooner than later my friend.
I’m 54 and have no desire to have children! ZERO!!! but I see a lot of woman on this site 35 to 40’s saying they want children. Big mistake in my opinion. Tom
Anna, show scientific evidence, not “belief”. This is an apocryphal Slavic myth. Sorry!
Age is merely a number. Remember it’s not the years in your life that count, but the life in your years!
That’s really true ,age doesn’t matter .aslong u love each other
Well, I personally 100% agree with the article. As for me, even 15 years gap is too big. I would prefer a man of my age or around it. I am 43 and I can’t imagine myself with a man of 50 + because we don’t have anything in common – we are from different eras, we listen to different music, we read different books, we have different experience. Besides we look differently, I mean I would not like to have a man who looks like my father. I think that 5 years difference is ideal for people. I know… Read more »
Could it be ” parental issues”. Marry a woman 15 years older when your 29 seems thuscway. Dating much younger control issues. Born in differ eras. If they are the same “maturity ” level possibly work out.
If the guy looks young and is young at heart then 50 for the man and 43 for the woman is fine, especially if they already have children. It might be 7 years, but that is close enough to 5 years.
Hello , my name is Todd, I am 51. I find this discussion enlightening. I have been searching this path now for several months. I have “spoke with ” ladies that are my age to the youngest age of 26. To be honest, it is a struggle for me to talk with a lady that young. She tried to convince me it is not an issue, I feel it will be at some time. I am not sure I would want more kids, the young ladies will. Ladies that are closer to my age …we seem to not have the… Read more »
Todd,
Are you doing PPL (pay-per-letter) – in other words, paying for chats and mails?
You need to read this before you go, to understand what you are dealing with.
Seriously Natalia – you perceive yourself to come from a different era with you being 43 and a man being 50? Get over yourself. You are older than you think – and that is a ludicrous statement. !5 years is about right for a limit. Seven years when you are 43 and he is 50 is quite reasonable.
Anastasia, I really think it depends on the people within the marriage. I have seen many couples here in America where the woman is twenty years or more younger than the man. Now, quite a few of them are of the Sugardaddy/Sugarbaby relationships where the older, more established man agrees to pay a monthly amount to the younger woman for a committed and ongoing relationship. But there are many where it is just a regular relationship. I have dated women twenty years younger and more young women in America are not finding quality men their own age so they are… Read more »
LuisTomas, you are right that relationships with 20-25 years difference are becoming more normal today. We have all seen “Modern Family”, and learned to accept that a relationship between two consenting adults is up to them. 40+ women’s unions with with 18-30-year-old guys are nothing special today either. These genuine and loving relationships have just as good chance of survival long-term.
I am a 53 year old woman in ap relationship with a 30 year old man. He is so loving, caring and thoughtful. He wants to be with me forever but I have concerns about my son’s reactions I feel they new.. They are slightly younger. Any advise would be helpful please
Sandra, Even though your lover says he wants to be with you forever, it’s unlikely your relationship will survive 5 years mark. This romance, however, may destroy your relationship with your son and make him question your sanity and wisdom. (Read how people viewed Demi Moor’s marriage to Ashton Kutcher. It was also “big love” but very different to what he has now with wife Mila Kunis.) When other people are not involved, dating younger or older people is not a problem. But if your relationship with your closest family can be damaged, think what are you going to do… Read more »
I’m guessing you’re Latina. To my experience, the Latin culture is the only one in which there are relationships like yours. I should add “healthy” to that.
As for your sons. Mom has a right to be happy. If they have any maturity at all, they will get over it.
So what if it doesn’t last forever. Few relationships do. Have fun….especially in the bedroom 😉
I am 21 years younger than my husband. We just celebrated our 11 year anniversary. I look even younger than my age but love took over and I followed my heart. We are best friends and we have so much to say to each other that there’s not enough time in the day to say it all! He has more energy than me I’m 36, he’s 57. He’s the most fun person I’ve ever met, I’m completely attracted and satisfied with our happy relationship. The only difficulty that seems to be the only issue is social unacceptance. Passerby’s and judgemental… Read more »
Jessica, Thank you for sharing your story. The world is becoming more tolerant to many things than it was 30-40 years ago. But there are still a lot of things that people have biases against, and age difference in couples is one of them. Although there are couples whom the public seems to accept (such as celebrities like Alec Baldwin who is married to Hilaria, who is 26 years his junior and pregnant with the couple’s fourth child). Discrimination takes many forms and shapes. It’s probably a unique experience to live through the society’s attitude like this. Maybe you should… Read more »
I don’t know why you are giving out advice on this subject your way off base. My financee who is actually 32
and i am 63 asked me to marry him, we have a wonderful relationship and we make the most awesome team he calls us peas and carrots. It all depends on the people involved. You shouldn’t give the kind of advice your giving to impressionable people. 15 years yeah right there is no age limit for real love
susan,
This sounds astounding! Tell us more about your story! Where and how you met? How long you’ve been together? What about the physical side? You are right, I have not been in such a relationship myself and we rarely hear from couples who have this type of April—November romance, leave alone marriage, especially when the man is younger. Tell us more!
Its a known fact that women mature quicker than men, but also the toll on their bodies after bearing children, and the menopause. make them age quicker than men also. This is why the younger woman looks for a more mature man more on her level, than a younger man with no experience, who is unstable, and still into all night drinking, and extreme sports etc!
p.s. I am sure the feminists out there will be up in arms about this. lol
Ralph, seriously, you don’t need to “scientifically justify” your search for a younger woman. It’s all been said above. The point of the article is not to discuss the reasons why aged people enjoy relationships with much younger partners (in addition to “cougar-women”, I also see in department stores great-looking older gay men paying for clothes for sweet young boys in their twenties, so you are not alone) – the point here was how long it’s going to last. . If you want to go scientific, “true love” based on hormonal intoxication lasts 6-18 months, after which, if you are… Read more »
Its better to spend 10 good years in a happy relationship no matter what the age difference, than 20 or 30 years in a bad one which a lot of women put up with.. Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, people die young or old from age related problems or by accident or disease. I don´t seek a much younger woman than me, but it does not stop me from having a young mentality, and staying fit and healthy, and if that attracts younger women to me then so be it. But I know my limits. It doesn´t mean to… Read more »
Ralph, I have a great respect to anyone following their dreams. But look in the mirror: you are SINGLE. Point in question: age difference in couples. My point: – Ideal – less than 5 years (will last). – Stretch – up to 15 years (may last). – Overstretch – over 15 years (won’t last). Whatever you choose is up to you, you don’t have to agree with me, you don’t have to follow my ideas, you can keep doing what you are doing, and don’t have to change anything. (And most likely, keep getting the same results) We are all… Read more »
Ralph, what a great comment! PERFECT! Live and let live!
I don´t agree with you, I think you are wrong, but you are entitled to your opinion same as everybody, and at the moment I am SINGLE by choice, I am not desperate. When I find “the one” I will know whatever age she may be. And I am not subservient to internet statistics.
Ralph, if you are “single by choice”, what are you doing on EM? The site is for people who want a relationship, and you are here trying to give relationship advice. Obviously, there are always people who think they are not going to be a statistics: some drive too fast, some take drugs, some marry people 25+ years younger. We see it every day, and most, unfortunately, end up being statistics (but of course not you).
Elena you have a big heart and your advice is appreciated but I have to agree with Ralph, which is better, to be married for 27 years which I was and to find out your wife was nothing but a whore or find a younger model who you can spoil and enjoy doing so even if it only lasts x amount of years. Elena as regards the sex part of a relationship I am over sixty and as far as I an concerned I cannot get enough, and why do I prefer younger women 30 plus which you say in… Read more »
Joseph, I understand your view. Just realize Ukrainian women won’t be coming to England, you have to go to Ukraine for a visit, if you wish to find someone – whether there is age difference or not.
Then why are you here? Lol
An interesting point of view. I tend to agree that a large age difference creates unnecessary hurdles in long-term relationships. However, if you are just having fun, why not
WILL IN MY CASE ITS MY HUSBAND DATING THE 19 YRS GIRL HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD LAST
margarette, it can last a few months or his whole life, things happen.
Best luck to all!
Hi Elena,
what you are describe under “Validation”, happened with all age differences. The question is if younger couple can manage the situation better, or if one Partner have already experienced the situation can handle it better or even manage not let it happen. Nobody can answer this. But I strongly agree with the 15 year’s difference.
Tom, I can give you many examples how Russian girls whom I know, found the same age guys being living in the West. One went to a night club in Friebourg (South of Germany) and met a guy of her age. They are living together now. Another one was living in USA on a student visa and went to work out at the gym – found a guy, 8 years older but he looks great for his age. And if you google this name: Viktoria Bonya – she was a poor Russian girl who “made herself” basically, met an Irish… Read more »
I am 42 and have been contacting women 30-35 on the site. For me this is ideal and I still think there are many very beautiful women in this age range. I realize I am pushing the 15 year boundary but to be honest that is one of the reasons I joined the site. Is it really a good use of time and money to look for a woman +/-5 years of your age half way across the world? I don’t think so. I think many women on this site realize there are tradeoffs as well. They are probably are… Read more »
These type of men usually the one who are crying later on “Oh, she left me, I did everything for her – documents, visa, shopping etc etc”. A Woman who is much younger than a man usually uses him to come into the country (and I have heard so many stories like that from the men), she ll get her documents, setlle down and leave the old man! It is the reality, sorry to dissapoint you, old guys. I dated men who was 12 y older and another was 15 y older… Well at first I had the feelings but… Read more »
Just found this quote on Goodreads, and it really hit home for this discussion:
“Age does not matter in most relationships, but in marriage, it matters a lot. If you marry a younger you have to baby sit, and if you marry an older, you have to follow orders.” (M.F. Moonzajer)
What?? This is just a huge generalisation, my Russian husband is 49 turning 50 and I’m 27 turning 28 and we have been married for 6 very happy years, we get along so well our sex life is amazing and I would not change him for the world. He does not ‘baby sit’ me at all we are both consenting mature adults. Think twice before putting all people under one category.
Ekaterina,
It sounds like you have a great marriage despite the age difference. Can I ask a few questions if you don’t mind? Do you have kids? Does he have kids from a previous marriage? Tell a little bit about your relationship, how did you meet, where do you live? Is he rich? Do you work?
Hello Jul, Feel free to get attention from the young 26 year old guy who just wants to sleep with you, but good luck finding a husband in a bar in Germany and USA :-). My comment to you is similar to the one Elena made to Ralph about being single. Russian and Ukrainian women are on the site because they have NOT found a good man 3-6 years in age difference to themselves or a good man of ANY age! They of course are welcome to marry the “old man” for the documents and then leave him. The next… Read more »
Hello Jul, I am not sure where to respond to you since you have posted comments to me in every post except mine! Your concern for older men who are crying is very nice and shows how good a person you are. 🙂 I don’t understand what the problem is for you though. Find a man 15+ older than you, move to his country, get your documents, and in 2 weeks time you will find a good, attractive man even younger than yourself. This sounds like a good strategy, so why waste time trying to convince men on Elena’s to… Read more »
Tom, Jul, take your dispute elsewhere — get a room or something 🙂 1) No, girls do NOT intend to leave the man they marry once they move to his country. This is why Jul is not taking this strategy. 2) BUT: people change. Attractions/hormones/chemistry last about 6-18 months. If you have a child together, add another 3-4 years. After that the hormonal part (a.k.a. “romantic love”) wears off, and unless you are very compatible (common experiences, lifestyle, interests, education, personalities, energy level etc), you need to be skilled in keeping your romance alive and BOTH want to make it… Read more »
to Tom
Did I say anything about me? I think “Tom” can t read properly. I told you basic statistics from life!
I do not need “best of luck getting your documents” as I am already living in the west. But best luck to you with 20 y o who ll leave you very soon after getting what she needs)))!
Hello Elena, Thanks for your highly informative article. You made a very compelling case about age difference vis-à-vis the potential relationship’s longevity prospects. I agree with you 100% that age difference can be a significant factor in the longevity of a relationship/marriage. Your arguments are sound and have some very valuable pieces of advice that any sound man cannot ignore. However, to seem to claim that age difference is the factor, I totally disagree with you. (1) If that were the case, I would not be on your site and I would not be writing to you now. I am… Read more »
Francis, no single factor can guarantee that your relationship/marriage will survive. If you (or your partner) decide, “I want out”, there is no way a relationship will survive. The main factor that gives you hope that it will survive (not a guarantee) is if both you and your partner want this relationship to work out. If you want to be with her as much as she wants to be with you, and you want to be with her very much, there is a great chance you can make it. Every day… ask yourself: “If I were to choose a partner… Read more »
Tom, And yes, if some of as you said – “Russian and Ukrainian women are on the site because they have NOT found a good man 3-6 years in age difference to themselves or a good man of ANY age”, then they find those who maybe like you are – 15 years older – then they’ll move into your country and find good man 3-6 years in age difference to themselves). It is the reality. And then later on your guys, will complain online about “I did everything for her but she left…” About how Russian women find good Western… Read more »
Elena,
Age is a factor. Everything is a factor. What makes you think that it is one of the most important factors? Francis has an excellent point, 50% of marriages end in divorce, was there a single factor that caused these marriages to fail?
An interesting observation is that I had more interest from women 30-35 than from women 36-42 on the site and I am 42. It seems that the older women were more choosy.
Guys, do whatever you want. I am talking from experience, which, obviously, doesn’t apply to you. Your relationship will be different. She will love you forever, no matter what.
Do you truly think it will work? Then go ahead. Get into it and see for yourself.
Reality is the truth.
Elena,
Is it your experience that if i marry a woman less than five years younger than myself that she will love me forever?
I understand that having a dating website where every guy my age wants a 18-27 year old trophy wife is not in the site’s best interest (or perhaps in the best interest of the man and woman) but how do you dismiss the fact that so many “age appropriate” marriages end in disaster?
Tom, I say what I think and see working. I check scientific research. I am a certified life coach. I’ve been helping people to find love for 15 years. I am happily married. If this doesn’t qualify me to express an opinion that the age difference of more than 10 years in a marriage decreases its chances of long-term survival, you are welcome to find an opinion you like more. Accusing people in expressing opinions based on some perceived “business interests” is low. Would you do it? If yes, don’t judge other people based on your own insecurities and ethics.… Read more »
My ex left me for a women 23 years younger mind you we were married for 35 years!! Does he have a chance for it to last?? They have many problems from her children and mine do not except her!! I even said to him that she was to young for him and she said I know?? What the heck??
Angie,
You may take solace in the fact that with such a large age difference it’s unlikely to last longer than 5-8 years. So, think about it when talking to your children. About your ex, after a certain age men start strongly feeling their mortality and they feel, “well, I am going to die soon, at least let me enjoy it while it lasts.”
Hello, I am a 60-year-old man and I have been online looking for women talking and looking maybe for a possible relationship. Most women are in their early 20s. I have never been married and have no kids. I make good money and I’m healthy and I’m talented I have met some women who are very very nice and seem to want to meet me so I am hopeful that maybe we can get together in future. What do you think?
Steve,
You are being duped, sorry to break it to you.
No 20-year-old woman wants a guy in his 60s. Not anywhere on this Earth.
Where “online” do you get such women that “are very very nice and seem to want you” — on PPL sites? 😀 😀
Stop wasting your money paying for letters and chats. Unless, of course, all you want is sweet letters and chats from paid writers…
READ: The ugly truth about PPL dating sites for Ukrainian women
Dennis
Tom 60 and never married? Give it up dude you ain’t the marrying type.
Elena,
Asking a woman to not express her opinion would be like asking the earth to not revolve around the sun :-). I don’t think my accusation was low. Forming an opinion which happens to benefit ones own interest is quite common actually. One example is the way people vote!
Thanks for letting us guys rant about why we should be looking for much younger women! I appreciate your website as well!
Confidence in a relationship is paramount. If you are unsure you can find a partner like this again or you are worried she may leave you, it will make you unattractive. I see guys trying to find a much younger woman for years. To me they are dreamers, yes, they keep buying memberships, but if I were in this business to make tons of money, I would switch to PPL model. This is what other Russian/Ukrainian dating sites do and encourage men to think they should write to much younger and most gorgeous women. Such relationships cannot work, so they… Read more »
I am 43 years old woman and my man is 30 years old. We are both in love. I know he is real. I am just scared what if in the future he will find someone younger than me.
Jenelle, it’s not “what if”, it’s “when”. But if you enjoy the relationship, why not? It’s not every day we are given the gift of love. Just realize the odds are you won’t be together forever. However, some couples make it work, look at Hugh Jackman and his wife.
My sister was a supermodel, she is now 60 and still gorgeous. Her husband is ripped, fit and 50. They have been married for 20 years and she still sits on his lap and they go dancing all the time. They will always be together.
Daren, and what’s your point? I don’t think they have an unacceptable age difference. Anything under 15 years is less than a generational gap and I don’t see it as a problem. I don’t see any age gap as a problem, in fact – 30 years, 40 years, anything, as long as people are happy together. What I do see as a problem is when men marry someone younger and then they think the person has no right to leave when ‘love’ is gone. What I would like to see in a situation like this is for the man to… Read more »
Jenelle, Ofcourse he will! he will leave u very soon as soon as his job takes off or as soon as he has no use of you. Ask yourself- is he really in love with u as u think, or just using u? Put yourself on a man place. Age difference does not work, and that s it! Full stop! People do not be naive! Life is a market in some ways and if you want to get “best deal ” ( a young girl/ guy, a rich man/woman, or a model)- ASK YOURSELVES – who are you are how… Read more »
Did many of you know that the age difference between Celine Dijon and her husband was 27 years. She wrote the most beautiful songs about their relationship and love. She could clearly see past the older exterior to the heart of the man. Where are all the people out there that truly consider this part of the relationship as more important. My grandfather married a woman that was 31 years younger than he and they had a fabulous relationship until he died at age 92. She truly valued the inner man.
During the times of our grandparents divorce didn’t exist or was frowned upon. Now things are different. Celine Dion is 47 herself. You being 70 may be able to meet a 45-year-old woman with these old 20th century values, but you won’t see them in young 20-year-old girls.
By the way I read that Celine Dion was going to divorce her husband before he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Then she decided to stick by him.