By Elena Petrova
Thinking about today’s international dating industry, I came to the realization that transparency is the key to success.
Why transparency is the key
Simply put:
- The lack of transparency and presence of complicated structures lead to problems for the customers of a dating site.
- Vice versa, simplicity and clarity provide for a satisfying user experience.
Transparency of communication makes it easy to develop a relationship.
The sentiment is applicable not only to the structure of the dating site itself, but also to a personal communication with a particular individual.
- If your communication with the person is transparent, then you are likely to have an enjoyable journey.
- If the contact is complicated, then it’s going to continue being a problem as the relationship develops.
The same works for the setup of dating sites. The more complicated is the exchange, the harder it is to develop a relationship. This is why pay per letter (PPL) is such an ill-designed system: it’s hard to check what is going on even for the site’s management.
Vice versa, on dating sites that do not charge per letter, things are more transparent and direct, there is nowhere to hide. Additional transparency makes it easier to figure out what is going on.
See also: Hilarius ads of Ukrainian marriage agencies
Level 1: Personal blog
For example, we have a personal blog feature, which allows every user to post messages and photos that are instantly visible to all their contacts without moderation.
It increases transparency, and gives an extra dimension to discovering another person, while also allowing members to promote themselves.
Level 2: Personal video
Every member of Elena’s Models is able to upload a video on the site, showing him or her in movement and allowing to talk to prospective partners. Many users have already utilized this feature, while others may consider it unnecessary, or think it’s not easy to make.
In fact, anyone can make a video of themselves in 5 minutes. Having even a short video is better than having none. Another level of transparency, more kudos to the brave author.
Level 3: Photo gallery
If you are looking for a partner who will like you for who you are, it’s best to let them see the real you. Trying to misrepresent yourself will only result in a disappointment down the relationship line.
Glamour shots are great for making men fall in love with non-achievable ideals from the distance, this is why every PPL site uses them. But if you want a relationship, it’s best to use both formal and informal pictures in your profile. If you have professional photos, add a few recent shots that you like and which show you doing everyday activities.
Level 4: Video chat
If you are a Platinum member, an unlimited video chat is included with your plan. This means you or women don’t need to download anything, the video chat works in your browser.
If you prefer, exchange contact details and use Skype or any other online video app. It is the simplest method to find out who you are talking to, and prove them you are exactly that person you claim to be.
Free WI-Fi in public places and cafes and cheap costs of mobile phones and Internet make it easy for women in Eastern Europe to use video.
This is what a Slavic lady who is dating men online wrote about men complaining that they were scammed through PPL schemes:
“I still can’t understand how this may happen in today’s world with cameras and internet on all devices we use? If I meet someone online, after one or two letters I offer Skype conversation with cam. If you want to deceive yourself and live in illusions, you may chat online with gorgeous women 30 years younger just staring at their pictures, but if you really want to find a partner, what prevents you from a real video chat the same or next day you met each other on the net?”
In short, not only all Russian and Ukrainian women speak English to some degree because they study it at school for 6 years, and therefore can converse in a foreign dialect in writing, but they also have access to a mobile phone and Free Wi-Fi in any cafe or even on buses. Using Skype or video chat is of no inconvenience for these women who really want to meet a partner for life.
More transparency makes for easier relationships
When you are dating internationally, a quick meeting is unlikely to happen. Normally it is the personal meeting that proves whether you have a chance to become a couple.
Tamara from Belarus and Lothar from Germany met on Elena’s Models, and married in May 2015.
In international dating, you probably will have to spend a few hundred dollars to meet someone in a nearby country (for example, Germany-Belarus). If you are flying to another continent, it may be thousands.
This is why with all the local demographic imbalances, meeting women or men from other countries is still not for everyone. If it was easy, the balance of demand and supply would quickly move into an equilibrium, as it is for dating locally.
The advantages offered by international options where people are able to meet someone who is “out of their league” at home (which is applicable to both men and women) are counter-weighted by the need to organize a lot of things: travel, visas, migration.
Since there are already a lot of complications, the more transparent you make your presentation and relationships, the better results you can expect.
The main check point is the ability to see each other through modern video apps such as Skype without the need to pay extra. If this doesn’t happen after exchanging 3-4 mails, the person on the other end is not really serious about your connection, or has something to hide.
Read also:
- How Pay Per Letter (PPL) International Dating Sites Destroy Your Chances of Meeting Someone Real
- International Dating Online — Why Meeting Foreign Women Is Smart
- International dating: How many women should I meet?
- International dating scams, and how to avoid them
I fully agree transparency is key.
I would argue however that i prefer to keep the surprise of discovering the voice of the lady for the first face to face meeting. If you have video chat before meeting face to face you loose a bit of the mystery and charm of the first face to face meeting 🙂
Xavier,
Most women would disagree with you about that 🙂
They want to see how you really look before investing time and emotions in you, maybe your photos are 10 years old? (Not rare on dating sites)
May be but t’ s not my experience …. 🙂
Actually quite a lot of women think they don’t look good via Skype (at least not as good as in real … ) It even happened to me that a woman I dated still did not want afterwards want to Skype as she “look tired” after work, “did not look good due to poor Internet connection or poor camrea quality etc .. whatever excuse she could find .. eventhough she was actually goergoeus .. 🙂
Well, I guess, it’s either low self esteem, or she hasn’t been shocked at the airport meeting a potential man of her dreams as yet. In today’s world, every woman I am talking to is surprised if a man doesn’t want to Skype after exchanging 2-3 mails. This is what I mean talking about transparency. If a woman is not happy or content with who she is and she feels the needs to hide her face when dating, it could make for a not that exciting a relationship, she is probably going to be shy in everything. Some people are… Read more »
Personally me prefer writing/getting more letters prior to starting Skype/whatsup sessions. Agree video/voice communication gives more transparency,but romance of correspondence cannot be denied 🙂
For escaping false perception, I pay attention to profiles complexity (serious candidates give more information on profile) and number of photos (they are in different locations,from different focuses etc). Same applies to my gallery.
But you still want to meet on Skype, to see each other, right?
I think transparency is a wonderful tool. The truth needs to be out there. I have joined several sites over the years and have wasted 1000’s on fake profiles. I’m glad I didn’t jump on a flight to meet a women that didn’t exist or had no interest in me. Elena, thank you for this site and the women you place on here. So many are beautiful, educated and most speak English. I just hope i can meet one to marry. My goal is to take my time and get to know one before i travel overseas to meet one.… Read more »
Transparency is a key element to any successful relationship;
In another word, transparency is removing the mask and revealing who you really are; It is getting beyond
the surface to what is really going on in your heart.
I am thankful for this blog and the information contained in it. I am very new to this and in desperate need of of guidance. It is good to get advice from those that know the good and bad of this form of dating. I am excited about meeting one of the many beautiful women available but I do not want to waste time or money making mistakes that could have been avoided. I personally enjoy reading/writing letters but I confess that I like to move to video or phone quickly. I’m glad to hear that the women agree. I… Read more »
Hello! This is a great article. Good information on dating sites, good information on how to improve my profile and my experience. Most important, frank communications seem to be a hallmark of this site (just joined so do not know) and if this is so, truly hope this site becomes the most popular for all of us. Thank you for your insights.