Some ladies take time to read the English part of the blog and tips for men, which is rather nice of them. They really try to learn and understand what is going on and how to get the right guy. Here is one tip from a Russian girl that arrived via comments to the recent article Dating tips by Elena Petrova. It’s about the well-known strategy advocated by dating gurus, “Throw it against the wall and see what sticks”.
According to our commentator, she’s seen guys attempting to use this idea in dating Eastern European women — with disastrous results.
Innessa: I was shocked by the behaviour of American men chasing Russian girls
Thank you Elena for this article! Very helpful, not only for western guys, but for me as well.
I’m a Ukrainian woman who recently moved to United States, and I was a little shocked by American men’s behaviour while chasing girls.
I worked in multinational environment – half of the working staff was represented by Americans (young single guys of different backgrounds), the other half by Ukrainian, Russian girls and women (most of them recently moved to the US).
It seemed to me, most of American guys were amazed by beauty of our girls and were willing to start relationship with them, but no one succeeded, which was very strange for me at the beginning.
But then I understood why.
All of them had absolutely no courting strategy, everyone tried to ask as many girls as possible to a date. “Throw it against the wall and see what sticks” strategy.
Our ladies figured it out at once, got offended and all guys were “marked” as unreliable womanizers.
Personally I know a couple of guys, who were really in love with particular girls, but even those ones kept putting eggs in other baskets.
As if it was more important to them to get at least one girl, than to win a woman that they really wanted to be with. Crazy!
Needless to say, all of them got rejections and a bad reputation among my natives.
Now I know why it happened – due to your article. Cultural differences do play a huge role.
Read also:
- 20 tips for dating in Kiev: Ukrainian women vs. western women
- 10 tips how to win a Ukrainian woman’s heart
- Elena’s Models vs. A Foreign Affair: Romance Tours vs. Online Dating
- What is the best way to meet Russian singles for a serious relationship? Should I just go to Russia?
I am in love with an United States naturalized Ukrainian lady who immigrated through a lottery 20 plus years ago. She and I are both divorcees with grown children, she in her late 50’s and me, 65. We were seriously dating for a year when i implied we should get married. After that she began to act bit differently, coming jealous, unreasonably jealous and finally breaking up with me saying she could never trust me. Of course I did everything I could to convince her that I was trustworthy, and never having cheated on her or even consider cheating on… Read more »
Michael, I think your situation has nothing to do with what the topic is, i. e. the idea of “throw it against the wall and see what sticks” in dating women.
I can’t even figure out what it means? I guess I am out of touch. Sounds caveman like.
Hi Michael, I have experienced something similar, though I never proposed marriage. I had a Ukrainian girl that ended up distrusting me deeply and me her. I think many Ukrainian women in particular can be very prone to distrust men. I don’t think it takes much either, it could be something real, small even or imagined. It could be how she interpreted something you said. Cultural differences can also play havoc as misunderstandings and misinterpretations occur. I really don’t think it has anything to do with hubter/prey or chasing her. That she is open to this is fine it means… Read more »
I don’t think it works with western girls, either. At least, it didn’t for me; I don’t know how many initial emails or contacts I made with women on western dating sites (and sadly a few brief forays into PPL sites) before I ended up here, but I certainly didn’t get many dates out it (or even online many conversations), and certainly didn’t get a relationship. Whereas when I saw my now-fiancee’s profile here I was captivated right away, kept looking back at her profile when she was off the site for a bit, sent her a follow-up message, and… Read more »
I think woman feels the attitude and respond accordingly. If you treat her as the One, it would be hard for her to resist you. Its female psychology
I think this is the answer. The “Ukrainian / Russian” ladies I have been talking through by email have not been credible. None of them want show themselves on webcam, to prove they are real, and do not cheat. They tell me that their cameraphone is broken, or to old. Then I loose interest. I do not want to waste my time in conversation with an scammer who, after 6-12 months of conversation, asks for money for her sick mother or child. Usually when I google her pictures, I find them on several dating sites, with different age, names and… Read more »
Dennis, on which websites did you meet these girls / women who wouldn’t come on camera or Skype? Do you know about pay-per-letter dating scam that is the most prominent in today’s online environment? Here is the link how to find a legitimate Russian dating site.
What I will write is not known by most people. Americans are under tremendous pressure, like Russia by the Bolshevics, and there is much mis-information. Those who look past the news, entertainment, and re-written history can find another history, what people knew in the past. The Bolshevics were not Russian, but agents of very wealthy British, German, and American people who want to shape society, and be dictators over the earth. Before the Bolshevics was the power of the house of Rothschild, taking financial control over Britain through chicanery, fomenting aggression against America. The Jacobins in France. Secret societies. These… Read more »
Not sure about the cultural difference of this “throwing everything against the wall and seeing what sticks”. I worked in Ukraine for most of 3 years. The Eastern European guys were mostly even bigger players than the “westerners”.
Regarding sites, this one seems to be one of the more legitimate. It is not pay-per-message but I have had a few experiences in the past where I got an EOI from what appeared to be an interesting woman only to have her not respond once I upgraded to be able to send and receive messages.
Tim, do you think that every man sending a FREE EOI to a woman always continues talking to her forever and then asks her to marry him? (Or even responds when she accepts it.) Ask ladies — unfortunately not 😀 People don’t have to talk to you here. But they have to talk to you on PPL sites. Go there if you want to always get responses to your messages. It will never be the case here. Whether you like it or not. No one has to do anything here if they don’t want to. And we give 100% guarantee… Read more »
What I am saying is that I find it odd for someone to send me an EOI and then suddenly not respond and lose interest once I have signed up.
However, I will take your advice and not upgrade but rather go to another site.
Tim, it is not “odd” for someone to express interest and then don’t respond back. It’s NORMAL. That’s what happens on all normal (non-PPL) dating sites. What is suspicious, it’s when no one flakes on you and everyone just loves you – then you know something’s off there. (I know I am totally awesome, but there are still people who don’t like me… Hard to believe – but it’s true! 🙂 😉 😀 ) Sorry, this message got a bit long – you don’t have to read it till the end, if you find it uninteresting, but here is what… Read more »
Elena!
This (your) comment worth to be an article.
🙂
Elena- I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your candor! Not just in this response, but also the response you gave me to a question I asked you last week. You didn’t pull any punches, you gave it to me straight- you know like a grown man should be talked to! Whether ALL the male customers on your site appreciate what you do or not, I can assure you that your advice to the men is right on the money- even if they don’t realize it! I couldn’t agree with you more about what you stated above: “What is… Read more »
Jim, thank you for the kind words! Good luck in your search 🙂
Does the hunter/prey system also go for connections that have not been made yet? E. g. you find an interesting girl, send her a mail and get no reply. Does she expect you to send a lot of mails before she sends her first reply or does she consider you being daft for sending her a lot of mails, that she does never send a reply to? How many mails should you send before you stop? I do not think we have ever had the hunter/prey system here. At least it must be many years ago. So i need to… Read more »
Finn, it’s best to send one good mail (personalized) than a few bad ones. All girls are different. Some of them may be busy, others are thinking what to answer, while the third simply didn’t like you and went into the “ignore” mode. You never know but you can safely assume that if you sent 3 good mails and didn’t get an answer (and you can see she was online), then you probably did all you could.
Make sure your profile looks right, before contacting women!
I was shocked too lol. Dating a person at work is a fatal error. Flirting can get you fired. Even a pattern of “looking” at a girl can get you fired. Absolutely anything that makes the person uncomfortable, when reported to management, is bye bye for you AND it’s on your record for life. Sexual harassment lawsuits are usually successful and have big money settlements. So business will often fire a person immediately to show a concerned and quick remedial strategy. And it’s not just the guys that are at risk. Even guys, when they are dumped by a co-worker,… Read more »
Hi Paul! I’m the one who wrote that comment. I had no idea that I could file a lawsuit. Well I suspected that I could, but I’m new in the country and dont know all the laws. And also I am used to such behavior of man, because in my country such attention from guys (even at work) is not punishable, even encouraged. Guys in my country have to be persistant to win a girl, its kind of tradition. What he should not do – is to run after more than one girl )) this is not cool)) from girls… Read more »
Dear Innessa! I already write this upwards before read what Paul Rose, and you commented. But now copy + paste here, where fit more. There are the cultural differences. And both sides responsible. What FSU girls say true, and unfortunate. But their side: for the most NO: means no, not to say it/ try it again several dozen more times “to prove” you have serious intentions. (Mainly when you consider crazy western legal system, where any repeat attempt became VERY easily sexual harassment, kick out from worksplace, blacklist, bad reference etc…) So even if a western man avare of this… Read more »
Thank you Robert, I see your point and somehow it explains “western” dating model. But really, what’s bad about American girls? Too much bitterness in your words. Around 10 years ago I dated a guy in my country. And once he said to me that he sees all women as wonderful creatures, even a bit higher than men, because they give birth, bring beauty to this world, etc. So many years passed, but I still remember his words, so much it stroke me. Really, how much this attitude differs from seeing a girl as piece of trash, a body with… Read more »
Yeah buy nobody sees girl’s as a hole. As in, gimme a break. Girl’s are toys. The best toy of all toys. They walk, talk, dance. They eat dinner with you, accompany you on summer walks in the park.
We can dress them up. Put sexy shoes on them. Style their hair and color just the way we like.
It’s all good with girls. What’s not perfect about girls? Their voice, smooth skin, lovely hair, warm red lips, beautiful body. Girl’s are the besty and guys love them!!
Hi there Innessa! How are you? Phone calls? Married men? Ummm, see a lawyer hun. You have a lawsuit here, it’s for sure and a company can not harm an employee that files a lawsuit or they will get their head cut off. The rules on these things are real, and severely enforced. Even talking rudely to an employee that has filed a lawsuit can get that person in prison! A lawyer will tell you more if you chose to consult one. In the U.S. there is no sex at work…period. You talk to everyone as if they are all… Read more »
There is no sex, race, religion ect…in the workplace. What you do on your personal time is your own business but be careful of what you say on-line. Everything is archived and powerful computers are writing a profile on you which is accessible for a fee.
They know all my sexual fantasies, that’s for sure lol. And they know lots more too.
Paul, sexual fantasies? 😮 😀
There are the cultural differences. And both sides responsible.
What FSU girls say true, and unfortunate.
But their side: for the most NO: means no, not to say it/ try it again several dozen more times “to prove” you have serious intentions. (Mainly when you consider crazy western legal system, where any repeat attempt became VERY easily sexual harassment, kick out from worksplace, blacklist, bad reference etc…)
So even if a western man avare of this expectation: will it change anything?
Robert, I am not sure where this weird idea about “trying several dozen more times” came from. The comment of Innessa refers to western guys trying to hook up with several women hoping they’ll get something from someone, and Russian/Ukrainian girls seeing it as womanizing.
This come mainly from your blog from different articles. Probably I am who misunderstand, so in short try to clear it: For the guy to be considered as “with serious intentions” must be persistent, who constantly try to impress (a Slavic) woman (and only one in time). Both with words, with caring, with gifts, with repeated attempts, the expression of love, with a valid courtship, even when in the beginning the girl distant or (the guy) get rejection for the first several times. As a proof: that guy is serious, and not hook-up. The comment of Innessa refers: Guy: Do… Read more »
Robert, punctuated knowledge article by article obviously doesn’t work! 😀 😀
Try VIP Coaching — listen to the 8-hour audio, then come back for a test here 😉
In America, men try very hard not to offend, or bother women.
Because it can be dangerous, and reflect poorly on ones social reputation. This has been ingrained in them from an early age by modern western feminism.
Women from more traditional cultures perceive this as weakness in these men.
But I disagree.
Nice nick 😀
And if Anya Amasova responds, I think I found my wife. P.S. I have only one name here. Paul, Paul Rose
I’m a UK guy and don’t think this kind dating style as described here of US guys is really present here. In the UK most guys apart from the most social/extrovert, etc probably struggle to get just one date, lol. I think the US style more accurately could be called a casual dating culture where it is just a casual meet to see if you like each other, perhaps almost like how friends meet each other. Matters can either develop from there or it goes no further than a one of dinner date. It’s only when each other agree to… Read more »