Have you ever thought about why women need men? We all know why men need women (our mothers kept telling us in our teens, “All men want the same thing”) — but why do you think females desire a man in their lives?
Presumably, this list was created by a Russian lady (or someone translated it from another language into Russian). I have found it on a Russian jokes site, posted by a Russian guy (his comments are in brackets). I then translated the whole thing into English, because some comments, which had been definitely made by a male, were quite unexpected, displaying interesting dynamics of male-female relationships, and I thought you’d be curious to find out what Russian guys thought of Russian girls.
I have found it funny, intriguing, and revealing. This creative expression of the battle of sexes will hopefully give you a glimpse into the mysterious depth of women’s soul (and into the surprisingly poetic world of Russian men).
Why we need men
- Because they have warm palms, and we have cold fingers. (We are not afraid of the burning cold, as we unite two elements.)
- One day they will realize (if even for 1 minute) that we are the best. (We do know, just forget it sometimes. Please forgive us.)
- They have principles. (Which sometimes cause us problems.)
- Sometimes they wash dishes. (I will even say always.)
- They are taller and can reach the top shelf. (Or simply kiss the top of your head.)
- They give us their coolest T-shirts. (And when you are not there, we put them on and enjoy your scent until our heads spin.)
- When they say, “I love you,” it feels like we exist. (At such moments we also feel like we exist.)
- They can install Windows. (But it’s better to backup your files.)
- They forgive us for our feminism even though we forgive them nothing. (We forgive you everything. Just because you are beautiful.)
- They kiss our foreheads when they cannot stay. (And then we walk out and stand behind the closed doors for a long time.)
- They think that there are things that we will never understand, and this is why we understand everything. (???)
- They put their hands on our knees. (Because it’s more intimate than kisses or even sex.)
- They are manically insistent about paying for our coffees, although they have completely forgotten by now, why. (Is there any other way?)
- They have tears in their eyes in the strong wind. (And we have to turn away, so that you don’t think anything WEIRD.)
- They go to shops when it’s raining. (Because you need ingredients for your romantic dinner.)
- They want to have our photos. (So we could talk to them. Yes!)
- They remember different things about us than we remember about ourselves. (We remember everything.)
- They don’t see any reasons for our dieting. (Even if we do, we won’t tell you.)
- They say nothing when we say silly things. (Because it’s so cute, we don’t want to interrupt.)
- Although when we say something smart, they also say nothing. (So that we can remember it better.)
- They know better than us: maybe in 100 years, maybe from some other planets, but they will call. (And maybe will even come to see you.)
- They will go to war if there is a war. (Any doubts? But we will do everything that there is peace.)
- They don’t notice smudged makeup. (We don’t even notice when you have no makeup at all).
- They try to pretend that women’s day 8 March doesn’t drive them insane. (And we do it quite proficiently.)
- They want to change our lives. (For the better. We still have to live with you.)
- They spend their last money on chocolates for us. (And the secret stash is for flowers.)
- They will never learn to undo bras. (Even if we had 6 arms like Shiva).
- They are annoyed if we don’t wear a bra, but have no problem if other women walk braless. (Now, who is more jealous, you or us?)
- They think not only about love. (…)
- Deep in their hearts, they are able to saw a button on. (And also cook soups, iron clothes etc.)
- They cannot differentiate between Always and Kotex. (We can. The first is Bon Jovi song.)
- They can straightforwardly admit that their single purpose of life is to sleep with us. (So that we could wake up hugging you under the sheet.)
- They pick us up from friends’ parties, take home, and cover with a blanket. Sometimes they simply cover us with a blanket. (And then keep watching your smiling in your dreams.)
- They love our voices. (Yes, we do love your voices.)
- What we say is not important for them. (No, it’s important!)
- When we tell them, “Look!”, they actually look. (Because we have a “different” logic, see p. 46.)
- When they leave, we stay. (So that we have somewhere to come back.)
- When we think about our past life, we think about them. (We also think about you, we even remember years and dates.)
- Their disks have the same names as the boxes they are in. (Why, they shouldn’t?)
- They count faster than us. (Counting sheep when falling asleep?)
- They give their surnames to our children. (Even though it’s not principal.)
- They do things that we are proud of. (Because we do them for you.)
- Our beautiful lingerie and expensive perfume are not important to them. (But “thanks” anyway.)
- They want sons but love daughters more. (And you keep asking, “why?”)
- Sometimes they love their jobs more than us. (Please forgive us.)
- They have DIFFERENT logic. (We simply have logic. Don’t argue!)
- They keep thinking constructively when we are hysterical. (Is it only me who can see the connection here?)
- They agree to do grocery shopping and buy things by the list. (So that we don’t have to go to shops when it’s raining.)
- They are happy to eat fried eggs if we have no time to make dinner. (We are ready to eat anything made by your hands.)
- They do not notice the mess at home. (After we have cleaned it up.)
- They look at us with loving eyes after we cook them dinner… (and if we don’t ask for seconds, we are in trouble.)
- They drink beer, although they like chocolate more… (we wish it was possible to throw chocolate into beer, like into champagne.)
- They are weird. (May I don’t comment on this?)
Read also:
- Why Slavic women living in USA, Europe, and Australia seek men on Elena’s Models?
- Working After Marriage: Insights from Slavic Women
- 7 core beliefs of Slavic women in love and dating
- Dating Slavic women: who pays for the meeting?
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