A lot had been written about marriages with a large age difference, but it’s worth discussing it once again. Most marriages that I see between Russian, Ukrainian women and western men featurу quite a striking age difference and in my books it means never happily ever after.
Arguments in Favour of Marriages with a Large Age Difference
Arguments in favour of marriages with a large age difference have little practical value.
I know, there are plenty of guys who want to argue and intend to marry a woman 25 years younger.
But they are the same guys who are then discussing ways how to ensure that the woman is not just using him for a passport or money, or that she is not going to take a half of his money or his house and leave him for a younger guy.
If you have any of these worries, you shouldn’t ever consider dating younger women.
Why?
Because this fear is palpable. Unless you are absolutely sure that the age difference doesn’t matter and you are able to vigorously entertain a younger woman in and out of bedroom (yes, I am talking about sex as well), then there is pretty little chance that your relationship will survive in the long term.
No matter how amazing you think it is when it starts.
Dating Younger Women
If you wish to date younger women, start with joining a gym.
Bulging belies, daily beers, and low energy are not attractive to younger women.
To any guy who wants to date younger women, my first tip would be to join a gym and get himself in shape. In just 2-3 weeks you can lose up to 7-10 kilograms (15-22 lbs), depending on how much extra weight you are carrying.
The changes in your looks will reflect dramatically on your attractiveness level to younger women. You will also feel more energetic and happy.
I know: PPL sites with fake Russian brides keep insisting that for Slavic girls “looks and age don’t matter”. If all you want is to write endless letters and get love confessions in response, looks and age indeed do not matter: You will keep getting friendly responses for as long as you keep paying for them.
But if you actually want a girl who will leave her country to sleep in the same bed with you, then she doesn’t want you fat and ragged. Sorry to break your bubble.
(If you are very famous or very rich, you can be fat or look gross. Money and fame do it for some young girls. But for the majority of them, they prefer guys who look neat, healthy, and dress elegantly. So, getting your looks in shape will increase your potential pool of matches in any case.)
Unless you are fit and healthy, and dress well, you are fighting an uphill battle when dating young girls.
Just like if you were trying to get a position of a TV presenter by showing up in sloppy shorts and looking shabby. The young Ukrainian, Russian girls are quite superficial. For them, appearances play a bigger role than anything else.
This is why older men seeking younger Slavic girlfriends are highly advised to freshen up their wardrobes, slim down, and learn a few phrases in Russian or Ukrainian (depending which country is your preferential destination). Or maybe both! Why not, it’s not that hard.
How to Learn a Foreign Language for Free
You can learn Russian, Ukrainian for free.
Simply input any phrase you wish to learn into Google Translate. Select the language to which you want the phrase to be translated.
Then press the button to hear the audio (pronunciation).
You don’t even need a teacher!
Just use this free tool and your approaches to Russian, Ukrainian girls will be taken much more positively.
Slavic people think that their languages are extremely hard and appreciate when foreigners are trying to learn some phrases.
It shows respect to the culture and the woman you are dating.
Skills for Men Married to Younger Women
Download Coaching Manual for men seeking Russian, Ukrainian women.
Other things to learn for a happy marriage are conflict resolution skills (there are brilliant techniques in my Coaching Program for Men Dating Russian, Ukrainian Women). Yes, you, being older, are the one who has to be wiser.
I am a Certified Life Coach and Master of NLP, having trained with some of the highly recognized mentors in the industry.
The tips and techniques I am giving you in the Coaching Program are what people are paying thousands of dollars to learn in NLP boot camps and trainings, together with methods used by marriage councillors (who are not cheap by any means).
You can get it all in one place, applicable to any relationship, not only with Slavic ladies. Plus you will understand Russian, Ukrainian girls better. Once you understand the inside mechanics of how things operate, you may even start wondering why you haven’t realized it earlier, how apparent it is.
But it is only apparent when you “get it”. Until then, it’s kind of mysterious, and you may struggle. It’s avoiding mistakes and doing a lot of right steps that gives you the results.
If you make just 1 mistake and forget about 1 right step, you may not reach your goal.
So, it’s up to you whether you wish to set yourself up for success or not.
Striving for Happily Ever After
Coming back to marriages with a large age difference, my take on it: Limit your age difference by under a generational gap.
This means that the woman you are dating should not be close enough in age to you to be your daughter.
There is about 20% chance that your large age gap marriage will survive.
If you do decide to opt for the age gap over 15 years, then you should be prepared to simply enjoy your time together and be ready to let her go, and help her to set up her life without you, when the time comes (80% probability it will).
- Yes, there is about 20% chance that your large age gap marriage will survive.
- 80% chance that it won’t.
(Those are my estimations, not hard statistics.)
Then you can have happily ever after and not worry about what happens when (if) she decides to leave you for a younger bloke.
You already will know: You are going to help her get an amazing life without you, just as you would do for your daughter.
In this case, you will be happy and she won’t have hard feelings.
If you don’t, and if you try to punish her for leaving you in any way, you won’t be happy and it will end in tears.
So, decide at this point in time and make peace with it now, before you start dating young girls.
Better still, chose women who are more appropriate for you in age and life experiences. These women will appreciate you much more and with them you can truly hope for happily ever after.
Read also:
- Sugar Daddy vs. Dirty Old Man
- Preferred Age Difference in Long-Term Relationships and Marriages — Research
- Age difference in couples — seeking an ideal?
- 5 Approaches to Finding The One
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well, cannot agree with everything that this article states: my parents have a great difference in age (something about 20 years), yet they still are happy in marriage 🙂 dad even looks younger when he is at the side of my mom xD but maybe my parents’ case is the exact 20% about which this topic says.
still, very useful, thanks!
Really relevant theme. But I think it’s very rarely when such love is for real. Otherwise, you just shouldn’t be married. My father is twenty years older than my mother and sometimes they have some disagreements. It’s really difficult to be married with your “grandfather” for woman. And for man too. It gets harder when your husband or wife is foreigner.
Elena’s view in regard to success or breakdown of marriages with a large age difference is logical. Whilst we may debate and suggest the stats should be looked at more academically normally a very experienced person with knowledge in this area would be reasonably close to the mark. I do believe there are and can be successful relationships with a large age gap and I have friends and acquaintances that have 10-20 years difference. All these relationships are where the woman is younger. Around 3% of all relationships that I know have a large (10-20 years) age difference. What I… Read more »
Steven,
It’s quite an interesting view, I didn’t think about it before that marriages with a large age difference tend to work only with women of a particular personality type. Now that you expressed it so succinctly, it makes sense. Women who like being with older men, they are like “old souls” and they feel uncomfortable among peers of their own age. They probably already had relationships with men who are older, which compared favourably with dating younger men. It still doesn’t guarantee that the marriage will survive but will give you better odds.
Gosh, our girls are so beautiful. If I were a man I would go crazy to choose only one:))
Slavic women look perfect, even at their forties. As special bonus they have maturity, life experience, they don’t need to be entertain a lot:)
From my observations when woman reached her forties, the difference in 15-20 years does not feel in such way if your bride is at her twenties.
I think it’s silly to count on successful marriage, having a great difference in age. The difference will be manifest in all things, though not in the beginning of relationship, but after marriage it will be more obvious. There are exceptions, but this is rare.
I know a lot of couples with a big age difference who are really happy in their marriages. I can’t say anything about celebrities but what I can see around my friends, if there is no love in marriage with a big age difference, their family will not survive.
Hm, in general, I am conservative but I find a marriage with a large age difference ok. Not normal or usual but ok! If it suits both, why not?! Everyone gets everything he/she wants, just don’t use each other too much. I want to believe that people can be happy together and age is not the major factor in good relationship.
My uncle is in love with a young girl and they have 28 years difference. Psychologists assert that such age difference is unacceptable. Nevertheless this is the happiest couple I have ever seen. My uncle tries to be more attractive and athletic because he understands that this is the way he could attract younger girl. But she just loves him. It’s that I want to say: if there is a love, the age difference doesn’t have an importance.
I believe that young girl can fell in love with the old man. But, only if this man is handsome, like Bred Pitt, Johnny Depp or Dustin Hoffman. There can be the only reason why beautiful woman marries an ugly old guy. And this reason is money, huge money. They are very stupid. And all that I can is to sympathize with this couple.
Dating with younger man is like a firework – first you think you are the same age, or you feel younger than you are. After you start to understand that it’s not serious. Because there are some differences between you. He doesn’t know things that the person of your age should know and his attitude is not serious. So it’s temporary for sure.
Elena, what you say about the PPL sites is absolutely true – there is one in particular that gives the impression that nearly all of the women in Russia, Ukraine and the other FSU countries are stunningly beautiful, and own no clothing other than hot lingerie or bikinis. In addition, even the most gorgeous 21-year-old dream girls list their age preference as “30 to 70,” or some such nonsense, and, of course, appearance is not the least bit important to any of them! Right . . . because those attitudes are so typical of 21-year-old women and men the world… Read more »
Elena, I think you are looking out for both the men and the women that are your clients, and I definitely agree that an older guy must be fit and healthy, and dress well, if he wishes to pursue significantly younger women. I’m 54, my wife and I split nearly two years ago, and one of my primary goals after divorce was to remarry a younger woman and have more children. I have very personal reasons for this – I was given up to an orphanage at birth and no one knows who my genetic mother or father are. So… Read more »
Guys, I have no problem with older guys dating younger women, marrying them or having kids with them. How people live their lives is none of my business. I am just giving you a piece of advice, based on 17-year experience: be ready that your young wife may want to leave you after 5-8 years of marriage, think now what are you going to do, how you will help her to get a good life without you (instead of unleashing hell on her for the desire to leave you). If you are prepared and ready, hopefully it will never happen… Read more »
The famous Pareto 80-20 ratio, I guess it is applicable to relationships as well.