Dating Advice from ForumsSometimes people write comments on this blog based on dating advice from online forums or groups.

Let me give you a word of warning about such dating tips.

Dating Advice from Forum Regulars

Point #1: People who are sitting in forums and commenting, teaching others what to do and what not, are not in relationships themselves.

They may have been doing it for years, but they are single.

Forum regulars, dishing dating advice, are usually single.

Any advice they give should not only be taken with a grain of salt, but if this is what they did themselves, it didn’t work. They have failed.

I sometimes find a discussion online while doing a research for a topic, and I see tons of advice on dating and relationships that is complete nonsense, and would never work.

Do I bother posting my thoughts? Usually not, especially if I see the predominant trend is geared towards a certain view. Why should I worry about people blowing their own horn? I am never coming back.

I am not trying to convince people they are wrong, even though I know 1000 times more about the things they discuss (for example, a forum for western women discussing dating Russian men).

Who Are The Contributors?

Now and then I get comments on my blog that seem to be making an interesting point, but the position they promote is questionable.

A recent example is the guy who posted a comment to the article about the best age to meet the Russian woman of your dreams, complaining that Slavic girls want children and family, and they should be making romantic love their central goal.

Not a bad idea, is it?

But if you look who is voicing it, you might think differently: A 53-year-old man, who is still married/separated, with 2 children, and who wants to meet a woman 25 years younger. He wants “romantic love”, without babies or commitment, with a young lady who could be his daughter. Now, how does this sound?

Sure, in a group of men who seek the same things, this would fly wonderfully. But when I asked our female members, they were unified in their response: Find someone your age, who is also married/separated and has kids, and enjoy loving each other romantically all you wish. If you don’t like how committed Slavic girls are to the idea of family, find a woman who is culturally more suited.

Whose point makes more sense?

Be wary of taking advice from contributors, if you do not know who they are.

If I was publishing profiles of men who make certain comments, no one would take them seriously. But hiding behind online identities, they sound as if they were talking sense.

Point #2: If you knew who the contributors were, you probably would be terrified of taking their advice.

On another occasion I got a comment from a guy stating he read in forums that our site is “full of fake profiles and you will be lucky to get a hello back”. I know how much effort we put into approving profiles and monitoring atypical behaviours with the help of software and human checks, which allows us to quickly spot people who may be pursuing hidden agendas, and I know our database is as genuine as you can get.

So, I looked at his profile on EM: He never purchased any membership, so never had an ability to communicate with women. He only had the chance to send and receive responses to 20 free Expressions of Interest (EOI) that every member is given on approval of their profiles. He had a dreadful picture in his listing, was looking for a woman 20 years younger, his profile started with words, “I just want to see if this site is worth it”, he stated that he was looking for a “partner in crime”, and he, too, was still married/separated.

Any wonders that women weren’t eager to return his EOI’s?

The meaning of our communication is the response we get — if you do not like your response, change your communication. That’s the advice from people who know what they are doing.

The advice from people who keep failing may be very different. In fact, there are still thousands of men who are using paid chat sites (PPL). They believe they can get a hot, sexy woman 30 years younger, who would be thrilled to join their single existence pretty soon, regardless of their looks and situation, once they get to know each other better with the help of pay-per-message communication that takes years. They cannot get their brains around the reality of online dating and believe in things that are built on illusions.

Those are the guys that you meet in forums discussing dating Russian and Ukrainian women. While I feel sorry for them, I have no patience for people of this type, who refuse to open their eyes. The ugly truth about pay per letter dating sites has been known for years. It’s nothing new.

My Own Experience with Forums

I am not a member of any forums, the closest I got was when I was writing articles for sale on a Russian freelance site etxt.ru.

My personal experience shows that people who know what they are doing do not hang out in forums. (And yes, it’s my own photo.)

There was a place for user comments, and people could post testimonials about the site, to which others would respond. The discussions were lively, and I posted about 10-15 opinions there, while personally I had very little idea how to be a good copywriter at the time.

Once I learned how to write well, I stopped posting. I was busy doing my work, and didn’t bother commenting.

It’s quite a characteristic experience.

Point #3: People who are doing something right, have no time or desire to teach others, especially the newbies who think they know better.

Would a university professor hang out in a discussion group for third graders? I doubt it. In the group of third graders you can only get the tips of the quality a third grader is capable of.

The Best Dating Advice

The best advice you will get from people who are as similar to you as possible (age, education, appearance, location, background), and who managed to attain what you are trying to achieve.

It’s even better if they had problems at first, and then found the right way: Some people are naturally good at certain things, but they struggle to explain to others how they manage to do it correctly.

The ones who were unsuccessful initially, and then learned the right way, are better mentors, because you are exactly at the same situation: You are having trouble and want to learn how to do it properly.

Kyle and Marina, our latest successful couple from the USA.

You should be able to verify that the person was indeed successful, and not just faking it. I have a lot of confidence in the tips Elena’s Models’ successful couples are happy to share: They managed to do it right!

Personally, I have been involved in this industry for over 16 years, and I know what works and what not with Russian/Ukrainian women.

I have designed a complete coaching program that gives you all you need to succeed, step by step.

It’s so simple, anyone can do it and succeed. But for some reason, there are people who believe that tips from unknowns in forums could have some value to them, and are not afraid to spend thousands following ideas of anonymous contributors, but hesitant to pay for professional advice, proven to work by hundreds of successful couples. (I still cannot get my head around it.) Who do you think would be able to help you better?

Most things are pretty simple, once you get the basics right. For example, in dating the way you look is very important, no matter what you would like to believe. Simply looking better in your photos and dressing up for dates could do wonders for your love life.

Becoming more confident would help you score even more. And so on.

There is no “1 magic trick”, and while tips from someone who managed to find a relationship after a lot of failures will assist, advice alone won’t make you successful: You actually have to follow it and do something.

Most of all, you actually have to date.

 

Dating coach Elena PetrovaRead also:

 

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Mari
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What about me, I met a lot of fake profiles on the social networks, that’s why I am used to keep caution during the conversation or reading the posts on the forum. The comment is really valued for me if I know a person who gives an advice quite well.

Натали
Guest

If you want to achieve your goals in love, it’s necessary to get what exactly you want and take it serious. Meaning? Taking doubtful advices given by “what’s- her -or- his-name” is not a deep approach at all. Otherwise you will failure for sure.

Gil
Guest
This article is quite hilarious but so true (and the pictures of the guys are horrendous!). It turns out, to be able to give advice about dating you should be a serial dater in some ways. The problem is that someone who is dating for dating is probably good at giving advice on how to lie or to manipulate, but not so much about giving real advice about real relationships, which is what most people are looking for on a dating site. I would add to that one thing : online friends or real friends are very often bad at… Read more »
Alex
Guest

Being a clueless single guy, I have nowhere else to look!

Seems like a downward spiral of cluelessness. The less you know, the less you’ll find out. Nobody seems to know exactly what to say, so it usually ends with the classic “it’ll come when you least expect it” or “it’ll happen when you stop looking. Neither work, hence my membership here.

A bizarre situation, to be sure.

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