ukrainian-women-dating-beliefsIf you are dating Russian or Ukrainian women online, it would greatly benefit your relationships to know their deeply-ingrained wants, aspirations, beliefs, and hopes.

I am chatting to a great number of Ukrainian women and other Slavic ladies (from Russia, Belarus, Kazakhstan, and other countries of the former USSR) through my Russian blog, and there are certain trends that are very strong through the whole post-Soviet space. These ideas are very different to those of western ladies but also to eastern or Asian women; they are somewhere in between.

Family in Russian and Ukrainian women’s life

Slavic ladies believe that family should be the most important thing in a woman’s life. The notions that a woman’s calling is to become a mother and marriage means children are very strong in their culture and upbringing. This means that if you promise her family and kids, she will be willing to overlook many shortcomings, because you help her fulfill her Destiny.

Destiny in the modern Slavic culture

dating-ukrainian-russian-womenThe notion of Destiny pre-determining everything in a person’s life is very typical. A Ukrainian woman wants to feel that when she meets a man, it was the hand of Destiny (aka Fate) that brought him to her, rather than her own efforts. The same belief makes girls adopt a passive attitude in relationships, expecting that the man should be the one trying to move the connection forward.

  • If it was destined to happen, it will happen“, this is what they like to believe.
  • You can’t go against Destiny“, is another common theme.

The younger is the girl, the more romantic and destiny-oriented are her aspirations.

Cult of Love

russian-ukrainian-love-datingIn response to my article “Love or reason” discussing marriage, the overwhelming response from Ukrainian and Russian women was to choose a partner based solely on love. One of the ladies even wrote a story of her life, how she purposefully tried not to become wealthy or build a career because she didn’t want men to date her in a calculated way, even though she had multiple chances to improve her financial standing. She wanted to stay poor, so that no one would want to marry her for money.

It’s hard to comprehend but it’s totally believable. In Russia and Ukraine, it’s believed unattainable to meet a partner who could satisfy the requirements of reason and at the same time fall in love with him.

The motto is, “People love not for something but despite it“. Love is not supposed to make sense. Love is also used as a justified basis to move countries, change religious faith, or do just about anything. If it’s for love, that’s fine. Even if you move to a Muslim country and have to wear a Burqa, it’s still all right if you fell in love.

Russian and Ukrainian women’s beliefs in love and dating

  • Dating: a man is a hunter, a woman is a prey
  • Marriage: a man is the head, a woman is the neck
  • Home: a man is the provider, a woman is the housekeeper
  • Children: a woman is the carer, a man is too busy working
  • Money: a man should earn more than a woman
  • Love: a man should love more than a woman
  • Relationships: Destiny brings a man and a woman together

ukrainian-women-marriage-datingAs you can notice, relationship beliefs of Eastern European ladies are very traditional, similar to the ones of housewives of 1950’s in the western world. Sure, there are some Ukrainian and Russian girls who believe in more equal and balanced relationships but even they have been brought up on those traditional principles, which still affect them.

They want to be “princesses” and look pretty. They believe in personal development and self-improvement, which are supposed to help them to land a good husband and fulfil their Destiny (to be a wife and a mother). Being career-orientated, which many women actually are, is frown upon in Russia and Ukraine. A woman is supposed to be happy being a mother and a wife. That’s her calling and her Destiny.

Keep it in mind when talking to these gorgeous Russian and Ukrainian girls online (except for PPL dating sites, where women don’t actually communicate to you directly, and nothing you write is generally of any consequence). Ask her what she believes about life, dating, relationships, and marriage. Then you will know if she is one of the “very traditional-oriented” women, or a “rebel”.


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This is excellent and truthful article, particularly its part ‘Russian and Ukrainian women’s beliefs in love’.
This article without any exaggerations can be identified at least as a guide for further communication with Slavic Ladies.
I know it exactly as a woman who was born and living in Ukraine as my many previous generations.


Very interesting


I appreciate this insight and agree with the principles of most Ukrainian woman. In the west, the wedding is seen as the pinnacle. In Ukraine, as it should be it’s only the start. These comments are a good foundation for a successful marriage with a Ukrainian woman.

This article is very useful. I think women from the countryside tend to be much more traditional in their views about marriage, family and children than women from big cities do. Women from large cities tend to be more aware of their careers and compatibility of their partners as well. I think many foreign men seek out Russian and Ukrainian women because they have more traditional views and many men seek this kind of relationship that women in the west don’t have any more. But many men just like these women because they look beyond how someone looks (within reason),… Read more »

In my experience dating women from Ukraine, I have found their sense of traditional lifestyle refreshing. I am a romantic at heart and feel it is a man’s responsibility to provide for his family and make his wife feel secure and happy. They actually WANT to love and care for their men, pamper them and make them feel like they are the center of their universe. I appreciate that they make taking care of themselves a priority.


My respect to Elena! She managed to notice very delicate truths, very subtle pieces of cultural paradigm. I am from Russia and I fully agree. Indeed, many Russian women consder themselves hearth-keepers, and husbands must earn money for the family. Russian women devote themselves entirely to their families, compared to European women who fight for equal rights.


I agree with the information that a man is a head and a woman is a neck. Because women should be wiser and more cunning. They are usually more flexible, sometimes they can keep silence and make a man do as they want. For men it is very important to feel that it is his initiative and he is clever and he is like a hero. And women can help him to feel like that. In my opinion Russian and Ukraine girls are the most beatiful and they should be happy in this world.

Mr. Adam Schwartz

I pass the test in all ways except one: I have a low income. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to find an Eastern European woman who will want me.


Adam, don`t kid yourself, no woman wants to live in poverty, if she can help it.

Hi Elena, I read your book ! I think some of the things you write about are very informative and invaluable, How ever I think some of the things you talk about are a woman’s personal preference. Russia and Ukraine are huge! there are many woman in that area who think so differently. For instance the idea Russian woman like philosophy. I have found by reading profiles and corresponding with Eastern European woman that this seems to be true about most of them. However a woman from Izhevsk told me that the women there were not into philosophy and many… Read more »

I like this article.
I think this is going to help me, to understand more what I am going to expect in Russian or Ukrainian women. As I know not all women are going to be the same.

Since I am a Western Man, (USA) that knows how crazy Western Women are and I am pretty good with them. The hardest thing to comprehend and then do is to pursue a woman, In Western World, (USA and Western Europe) to pursue a woman is the kiss of death to ever having a relationship with her. Why? Because Western women think that if a man pursues her, then he is weak and needy; if he is weak and needy, then she is too good for him; the more you pursue her the farther she will run from you. With… Read more »
gaurav mehra
dear elena a well written article indeed and i do agree with you for the same with my one experience with a ukranian lady who i was in a relation with but unfortunately could not marry ..(( . i would love to know your opinion on what these lovely women think of men from india . i personally think they are an ideal match for a urban well educated having good income hard working open minded indian male ( like my self)…))….i hope you answer this one….
I was dating a Ukrainian woman a little while back in the Caribbean. I have been trying to figure her out, and as I had never dated a Ukrainian woman before, and I know culture can have a strong effect. I usually do well with women, I have that certain something that seems to make them a little crazy. She was very standoffish from the beginning, (although we had a crazy first night when we drank much and made love for hours). I have never in my life been with a woman who complained so much. I largely ignored it… Read more »

I had been Ukraine Dnipropetrovsk for a week, I feel like Ukrainian girls are totally awesome. I feel they have very good heart too.

Yes, I understand now why Western men rushed to countries of the former Soviet Union in search of a wife . They are tired of the emancipated women at home. They want to be Men! In the East, a woman will not fight for equal rights in order to drive a tractor or to stand near the blast furnace as it was already at Soviet period. Our women WANT to be weak. They WILL BE GLAD if the man helps her on with her coat or carries her heavy bag. They wiil be very grateful and thankful to him for… Read more »
To leave a comment is not easy , I am married and living in the Netherlands with a Ukrainian woman for 2 years now . I’ve seen all the comments , and I concur with Elena and Irina , women from the east are no slaves and not to be treated like such , they don’t have the emancipation that woman from the west have and therefore want to be a real woman , that means though to treat them as such , have mutual respect and patience , don’t rush in like a train , go smooth . They… Read more »

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful article? I have been having daily email conversations with a lovely women from Kostroma. She and I have discussed all of these topics in great detail over the past month. It has been such a refreshing experience and now I know why it is that I have been so blessed to have found such a wonderful companion. Thank you.

So do enlighten, after years of failed success at even so much as getting a RESPONSE to a conversation initiation on a social site with 99.99% of Ukranian or Russian women not so much as honoring me with a reply (many times I get the honor of an instant ignore) – what am I missing in this article? I am a 29 year old guy, traditionalist, white, of direct European descent, over 6ft tall, blue eyed, decently shaped, well financed and fluent in 9 languages… What am I missing???? Note to point out that I get quite a positive feedback… Read more »

Hi Elena,

I was told I could ask for your thoughts on two questions I have about things Slavic ladies say.

First, what exactly do they mean when they say the prefer “active style of life”? I am guessing they mean doing something often?

Second, I find it interesting and adorable that they all refer to their partner as “my man”. Is there a particular Genesis for this phrase rather than just my partner or my boyfriend or other terms we use in the west?

Am just curious to hear your thoughts.