Profiles of Russian women often have this line, “I want to meet a real man”. What do they mean? A recent survey by WCIOM.ru gives us a glimpse into what people in Russia mean by “a real man”.

The image of a “Real Man”, according to Russians

The day of 23 February became in Russia an unofficial public holiday of Russian men.

Officially it’s called “The Day of the Defender of Motherhood” and dedicated to all who served in the army. Service in military is compulsory for all Russian males aged 18, with leeway given to university students, who in turn have to attend military training during their studies in the university for one day a week for 3 years.

In other words, no Russian male over 18 can escape a military service, unless physically unfit with a doctor certificate.

It’s just some background for you to understand why the All Russian Public Opinion Research Centre ran this survey just before 23 February 2021 and the reason for certain opinions there, relating to Motherland and army service.

However, the majority of points are pretty general, so let’s have a look what Russian women and guys see suitable for a “real man”.

The portrait of a “Real Man”

The question asked in the survey was open-ended and only answers that scored over 2% made it to the list. WCIOM.ru analysts bundled some answers on some points (justifiably or not), so this is what the picture of preferences looks like.

1. First and foremost, a Real Man should protect his family, care about them, provide and participate in family life: 18% of respondents, according to WCIOM, think this way.
2. The second most popular response is “to be a defender (of a family, loved ones, Motherland)” with 8%.
3. Somewhat tautological “Be a real man” bundled with “be a decent, worthy person” scored 8% as well.
4. “Be responsible” scored 5%.
5. “Be polite” bundled with “show respect to women, parents, elderly” scored 4%.
6. Proverbial “plant a tree”, “build a house” scored 4%. (There is a proverb in Russia that a man should in his life “plant a tree, build a house, bring up a child“.)
7. “Be responsible for his words and actions”, “keep his word” also scored 4% of votes.
8. “Be able to earn money”, “be a provider“: 3%.
9. Love (value) his wife, kids, family: 3%.
10. Work, be hardworking: 3%.
11. Honest, fair: 3%.
12. Be a patriot, love Motherland, serve in army: 2%.
13. Raise kids, give them education: 2%.
14. Manly, strong, brave: 2%.

This is, according to Russians, a portrait of a “Real Man”.

Lies, damned lies, and statistics?

It all sounds wonderful, but mixing together “care” and “protection” along with “provide” and “participate” (the answer with the highest score of 18%) is hardly reasonable, from the point of view of a survey methodology. In fact, there are other answers below which would be more appropriate for things like “provide” or “protect”.

But WCIOM analysts seem to put all answers containing the word “family” in one place, quite possibly, to bump up the total percentage, or, likely, to hide the share of women’s responses that states “a real man should provide for the family”.

This is, of course, the most important duty of a male, according to the modern Russian social paradigm, which developed in this direction from early 2000s. Prior to that, during the times of the USSR (1922-1991), males and females were supposed to be totally equal and contribute to the country’s economy (i.e. work) regardless of the gender and presence of kids.

In fact, in the USSR, mothers were going back to work leaving toddlers in kindergartens, which was the right thing to do, according to the social doctrine.

All changed in about the year 2000 onward, when women were told their duty was to be mothers and wives, rather than contributors to the economy (this duty was left to men).

It would be really interesting to see what share of responses, bundled in the first group of answers, was scored by each of the options. But WCIOM.ru doesn’t let us see it, so we have to just rely on what is provided.

(Click to enlarge)

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