Our research into hidden mechanics of pay-per-letter (PPL) dating scams in Ukraine uncovered how widespread was the problem. No surprise it’s now reaching the major media outlets — a recent Dr. Phil TV show depicts Carl, a father of two adult daughters, who believes he has been dating a Ukrainian woman from Odessa for 2 years, although he has never met “Natalie” in person or even spoke to her on camera, video, Skype, or phone.
During this time, the grey-haired suitor even flew to Ukraine to meet his prospective bride but precisely during his visit, his sweetheart who loves talking to him and intends to spend the rest of her life with him had to go away to Turkey on a business trip for the whole 2 weeks he was there.
Despite all pointers that it’s a scam as highlighted by Dr. Phil during the program, Carl still insists that he is going to prove everyone wrong, that Natalie exists and they will be together.
See also:
- Hilarious Ads of Marriage Agencies in Ukraine (selected from 222 vacancies)
- The ugly truth about PPL dating sites for Ukrainian women
- What is PPL dating? Pay per letter and pay per minute relationships
- Costs of mobile phones and Internet in Ukraine
Is the American groom-to-be being scammed by the Ukrainian dating site or his “bride”?
For two years Carl has been paying to PPL dating sites for letters. He spent over $6,000 on his trip to Ukraine, but never managed to meet the mysterious Natalie, who is supposed to be a business owner in Odessa, Ukraine. Unfortunately, she cannot speak English and her notes have to be translated. According to the eager admirer, his virtual girlfriend has been taking English lessons and intends to fly to him to the USA very soon. Letters alone cost him in excess of $1,000.
Dr. Phil lists on the screen pointers, typical of online dating scams, with Carl’s love interest scoring multiple ticks. Why does he still believe his love is genuine and real?
After his unsuccessful visit to Ukraine to meet his “mail order bride”, Carl decided he should be the one making the rules. He wrote to his prospective fiancée that she would have to purchase tickets herself and fly to the USA if she wanted to be with him. His Ukrainian bride obliged, agreeing to pay her own way. In the meantime, he keeps sending her $5 messages several times a week.
“It’s not a scam, and I will prove it to everyone”
The screenshots show memos in perfect English telling how “Nat” thinks of life with her American beau, although she doesn’t wish to hear any more of his “sex stories”, because they make her “feel jealous”. The Ukrainian bride is 30 years younger than her aging, daily drinking groom with 3 DIY’s under his belt.
Nat’s visit to the USA, to which she easily agreed, has been already delayed twice: first she had problems with tax, which she hadn’t paid, and then she couldn’t go to Kiev to collect her visa because of unrest. She doesn’t have a computer with Internet access and cannot chat to him online or on the phone, the only thing she can do is to send letters through a translator. This is how these online lovers who are thinking of life together have been communicating for 2 years. (Are we supposed to presume that business people in Ukraine have no mobile phones?)
Come on, do you still believe it is for real?
Yes, for our champion, it is. He is convinced that despite all odds, he will prove to everyone that they are wrong about his Ukrainian love affair being a scam. “I am not stupid”, he insists. He agrees that things seem a bit unusual with him unable to talk to his online date other than through a mediator, but since he hasn’t been asked to transfer any large sums by “Nat”, he feels confident his relationship is bona fide, despite his family being furious about his spending the money he inherited on pursuing this obsessive passion.
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Daughter Lisa believes that the Ukrainian mail order bride is simply seeking a ticket to the USA.
- Carl says his Ukrainian sweetheart is genuine, because she agreed to sign a prenuptial agreement, which means she is not after his money.
I say: The answer is right here in a plain sight!
Remember the story about a guy who was making daily trips from the Mexican side of border to the USA with a wheelbarrow full of stuff? Border patrol officers were convinced he was smuggling something. They checked his wheelbarrow and the load carefully multiple times but couldn’t find anything. Years later the smuggler came clear: he was smuggling wheelbarrows. Yet the officers failed to see the obvious.
Our fervent heartthrob is paying $5 per letter for 2 years. How much money has he already spent in fees to the dating site? How many Carls are out there?
Is this entirely possible that the girl whose photos he fell in love with left the agency years ago and never even heard about our Romeo? This would explain why she “suddenly had to go away” when he visited Ukraine.
For all we know, he could be corresponding with a young dude from Odessa, someone like the one reporting his earnings as $350-500/month for writing letters on behalf of girls in photos on Ukrainian PPL dating sites.
Conclusions
Guys, wake up. Watch the video of the TV show and see how it looks when a person refuses to see the facts for what they are.
- Genuine women who want to meet a partner do not correspond with you for years talking about hoping to be together one day.
- They don’t go on a “business trip” when you travel half way around the world to meet them.
- They want to see you on Skype, chat to you daily, and they are there when you visit, holding your hand and vigorously opposing your meeting any other girls.
And by the way, they all know how to use online translators. Besides, all women study English at school for 5 years and then for another 3 years at university or college. And I can assure you, even women who don’t speak the language, can find a way to check you on Skype to see your face and hear your voice — before agreeing to become your bride.
There are American and European men who meet Ukrainian women online and get married. But things work very differently in these relationships.
Tips for a successful relationship:
- Choose someone closer to your age.
- Talk to women directly on email, mobile, video chat, Skype, and apps.
- Talk to multiple people and see whom you like more, and who likes you more.
- Don’t use mediators — direct contact is the key.
Well, the guy should have seen it coming. I’m pretty sure the only reason the girls go on the site in the first place is because they get a percentage of sales from the company or their agency.
The Skype angle is very important, as is the ability to contact someone directly. I had tried talking to someone from a different website and she doesn’t speak English and had to have everything done through an interpreter at an Internet cafe, and when I asked about Skype she said she wasn’t allowed. She has never asked me for money but even if it is not a scam it is something not worth the hassle. I met a woman from this site, and after a few messages including private email we started communicating on Skype, and there are some language… Read more »
Will,
I agree, in today’s world, anyone who says they cannot Skype, aren’t worth the time and effort. How is she going to move countries if she cannot even be bothered to chat on cam?
Everyone and their dog have a mobile phone in Russia and Ukraine, free wi-fi is available at most cafes.
It’s 2015! 🙂
That situation is a real shame, but anyone that damn stupid deserves to have their money taken. It means less competition for the men here and the women here should be grateful they will not end up with someone that has mush for a brain. His children must be so proud of him!
This is sad. Alcohol is a waste. I know so many of the Ladies have negative experiences and have strong feelings against
drinking. I have total appreciation for the many that present it up front. I wish all better to find relationship.
This Gentleman is out of control, not considering others. Often these have to hit a terrible bottom before change.
That’s embarrassing. Is he really that blind? It’s obvious to everyone that he’s being used but he maintains illusions of grandeur. $6000 worth of round-trips to Kiev (plus at least $1000 in letter fees), and he has nothing to show for it. Elena, you are absolutely right. It’s important to get email addresses, Skype, and phone numbers. This way you know that the lady you’re talking to is legit.
Melvin,
Not only you know that she is legit, but also it’s the only way to develop a relationship! There is no way anyone “talking through a translator” can possibly develop any sense of connection or reality. Face it for what it is, guys: you are paying someone to send you messages that tell you what you want to hear and stroke your ego.
But I guess some guys don’t desire an actual relationship, they are happy with the illusion. 🙂
In this modern day & age, there’s no way that there’s no chance for Skype & wi-fi. Even the poorest villages have wi-fi somewhere or data on mobile phones. I’ve been in many places in Ukraine & Russia & if a girl pretends that there’s no cafe or chance to Skype for wi-fi it’s a big lie. Ukraine & Russia aren’t that under-developed. It’s not the 1980s anymore. So yes don’t worry & don’t bother by the pretty face. Just find another girl who seems more legit. She might tell you everything you want but if it’s too good be… Read more »
It’s an offensive rant to say that “Slavic women are well known gold diggers”. Not at all, and it’s stupid to think this way. If you even for a second think that women’s motivation is your “money”, then walk away! Get a date (or an escort) at home. Guys who have this attitude, “I live in a better country, so I can pick any pretty girl from a poor country and she has to be grateful”, and try dating women who could be their granddaughters, these chaps will find trouble anywhere. If you are 50+ and try to date women… Read more »
Absolutely bang on! Thanks Elena for “once again” stating it the way it is. At least you try to protect people from making stupid mistakes……. unlike the many others out there who will tell them what they “want” to hear or outright scam them. Anything for the almighty dollar! They fail to realize…God sees all things! They will be required to give account to Him! People are people. I have thought about how nice it would be to meet someone 25 years younger and start over again and have a family etc. Then reality sets in and just the fact… Read more »
Kerry, Yes, young women will show interest. It doesn’t mean she wants to marry you or have your babies — or even if she thinks so now, it may change after she gets a taste of what it really is. You are the wiser one, and if an 8-year-old child tells you he wants to marry his mother when he grows up, do you take it as if he knows what he is talking about? What about 16-year-olds who are so much in love, they swear they are soul mates forever? How different it would be to 25-year-olds who think… Read more »
I agree this whole mess with PPL dating sites is real. I was on a few checking them out and quite them all. You could not get very much personal information at best on them if any at all. Here I have contacted several ladies and have gotten phone numbers, Skype and email info within a few letters between us. Elena’s is the real deal if you want to find a Slavic lady!
Wow!It’s the only thin I can say.So to all the guys in this website. Who do you think you are?Do you really think a woman has to change everything in her life just because you are interested in her?Who make you a god?Reality check. We are looking for a chance with beautiful,intelligent, very cultural women from a fabulous country.How about we make a few changes in us?Instead of expecting the lady of our dreams speak our language how about we learn hers?Even if at the end you don’t get the lady you’ll have a new language.Heck now I can travel… Read more »
It does not matter what the age difference, a scam is a scam. Same age or 20 years difference. I know couples that have many years difference in their ages, and they are great together. You cannot generalize a subject like this, and say, this is the way it should be, and nothing else. It depends on the persons, and how they wish to live their lives. Some 50 year old men are just as healthy as most 25 year old men, and some 50 year old men are unhealthy and look many years older.
James, Read Comments to: Age difference in couples – seeking an ideal? I really have nothing more to say. Of course, a scam is always a scam, but thinking there are no “rules” to dating and relationships? There are. If you get scammed by a Nigerian Prince, is it his fault or yours? Or your Internet service provider’s? You think “rules” don’t apply and you are different and can pull it off? Go ahead. But don’t complain of “scams” – if you are entering this territory, you must be so amazing and brilliant (see How to marry a woman 25… Read more »
Personally I see this as part of a bigger problem. It is my opinion that American males in general are having a side effect to decades of promiscuous activities. At younger ages your not cool unless you can seduce many females. Even if your in a relationship most males still boost there ego’s trying to impress their buddies with infidelity. Simply put it’s a kind of like mother nature is punishing them for lying and cheating and thinking that makes them cool. So as they grow older and it becomes more difficult to seduce the same caliber of American females… Read more »
This site looks really nice, but still i can`t pay a huge initial amount to initiate contact with 3-4 girls…. To lay it right, yes i didn`t get the bait (oh mah god new member give him EOIs spam wave) with senders bieng pretty girls… so yes i think its partially authentic. but i don’t know about the girls themselves!!! and yeah, a mobile verification can be faked! and yes the fraud in all this slav girls thing is HUGE..!! *so i`m a skeptic like any rational person would be.. and just the “assurance” claims written in your site everywhere… Read more »
Alex, I am glad you are not signing up. We have enough problems with guys who are overly “suspicious” (and they never succeed anyway). I suggest you delete your profile, so as not to confuse women. All EOI’s are only sent by women themselves, and since there is no payment for letters, no one benefits from it. But girls do complain to us that men don’t answer, or correspond but never visit or do anything real. There is a current discussion about it in Comments in this topic (use an online translator to translate from Russian). They are tired of… Read more »
Although you were really mean and taking it to the personal level for no reason, but i`ll be honest enough to say the service is excellent! and that i even got the 3 months gold membership 🙂
going through 10s of profiles made me certain somehow rationally…. nice site and business and worth every penny!
and i didn’t think the 129$ (or even more over the time) are much , but trust level for any newcomer would be like me!!
Thank you Alex. 🙂
We work very hard to make it the best we can for our clients.
Alex complained about paying 100 dollars for 3 months, while actually it is what one-time dinner costs in the big cities:-) He seems upset that girls ignore him or he does not believe how real they are, Alex, have you tried to call them on skype and see in real how good or bad their English and how real or fake the girls? How old are you Alex? If you are over 45 and writing to 20 y o girls- then no surprise they do not respond you back. Advice to men – Try to write the girls and try… Read more »
Jul, A dinner costs $100 per person, if you go to a nice restaurant (Michelin star) – and it’s without drinks. A dinner-and-movie-date for 2, if you eat in an average place + 2 movie tickets would cost over $100. I think some guys do not realize things in international relationships work just the same as in “normal” relationships – you date, establish a connection, fall in love… 🙂 They still think there are some mythical “mail order brides” that are “desperate” to get out of their “horrible” countries, where they never saw a hamburger or a washing machine. 🙂… Read more »
Alex, I am a REAL woman from Ukraine who is seeking for a man here on this site, and I want to say to you that I understand why do you have doubts about it. There are a lot of sites who cheat men, it is true. But believe me, Elenas Models is a real chance for you to find your soul mate if you really want it. I am looking for a man for two years, I tried different sites. Now I can say from my experience, that I will not go to the site what is cheap or… Read more »
Oh, such scam sites do exist! And sometimes profiles there can be made by the actual translators simply in order to make more money. But there are girls who look for love, too. Sometimes. I think. I’m not sure. If a girl says she doesn’t want to Skype or talk directly it is fishy. Of course it is possible that due to some financial problems she might not have a webcam (No, seriously, there are such people). But a girl who wants to meet you and says she loves you and all… she’ll definitely find a way to talk to… Read more »
Admittedly I have not totally committed to being on this site yet (emphasis on yet). I was burned by two sites, one is ___ and the other is ___. ___ is a complete joke or better yet a complete scam. Never in my life would I expect or want to be in a relationship with a girl that is thirty years my junior but I receive at least fifty to eight intro letters a day on ___ from girls in their twenties. Since I took the time to educate myself I found that not only are the profiles on these… Read more »
Jason,
We had to remove the sites names.
Being a commercial site, we are unable to allow scam accusations against other businesses on our blog.
Sorry about that. Although I doubt you could be be held accountable but I respect your decision. For what its worth you missed one other reference to one of the sites in my previous post.
Removed 🙂
Feel sorry for the man, but the ugly truth is that he was chatting to marriage agency employee. I know personally few girls who are advertised on biggest and “most trusted” PPL sites. As of their words those girls get paid for registering with PPL sites thru marriage agency and for appearing on video chat once a month. The rest do marriage agency employees. Those girls don’t even know what agency employees are talking to their admirers. Off course those girls feel sorry for making money on broken hearts, but…. Some agencies employ real women who you can see constantly… Read more »
This is a great topic… There are a few items, I find interesting.. I take offense to the generalization of “American men”. You really need to make that statement “all men”. Next would be age differences.. as humans, we are visual creatures. For breading, the visual affect plays a huge roll in how a mate is chosen. But, there is also an intellectual connect as well or we would have a huge population of good looking stupid people. Too be truthful, there is a segment of the worlds population, that in not very bright, but they are pretty… But, the… Read more »
Bryan, Great story, and thanks for posting it. Russian and Ukrainian women, just as American men (and also Russian and Ukrainian men) are all different, of course. I am different to my Russian and Ukrainian girlfriends who live here in Australia, and we have a lot in common – all married foreign guys, and moved countries. Basically, the adventurous type like you would definitely do well with Slavic women. It’s the narrow-minded people who do not understand how far all countries progressed since the times of Cold War in the last century, it’s these people who get fleeced by PPL-type… Read more »
She sends me this & I get another email from someone in the same city, what a coincidence, communication closes with & 1 woman & I immediately get another email from the same agency! I Had written to her a month ago showing a copy of my flight times & that I would arrive in Mexico October 1. I have been writing her with PPL with whom I thought was a legit agency in the USA. They may be legit but they now nothing about the agency they use in Mexico. Yes cost $600-700 in PPL letters. Hi, my dear… Read more »
Anon,
How legit is the company that knowingly sets up a scheme prone to scams and abuse? The abuse in PPL (paid correspondence) “mail order bride” setups is hardly news.
Mexico, Columbia, or Africa-no matter where is the location, if you are charged per communication, you could be exchanging letters and chats with a “writer”, hired to extract as much as they can from YOUR wallet. It’s such a simple scheme but men are falling for it time and again.
I suggest you burn your money, it’seems easier on your heart. Yes I was one of those fools who thought my middle name was Valentino. 20 year old girls wanting me forever, yah! Try convincing a 20 year old in your home town to marry you. Think about it.
Ron,
20-year-old girls in Ukraine are not as desperate to consider a foreigner to date online. Late twenties is when women who are single get so anxious “to start a family” that they begin checking options like international dating sites or marriage agencies. But they want something real (a quick personal meeting, then a wedding and a baby) – not a “romance in letters” with never ending chats, that’s the difference with PPL sites. She wants a family with you, not to make you keep paying money to “date” her. It’s easy to see the difference.
Elena,What are your thoughts on a foreign affair in Arizona. Are they legit or not?they offer express mail service that are ppl s for letters and photos
Robert,
PPL is always PPL.
1. There are bots for AFA on the market. If there are commercial bots written specially, they are in demand. Bots are used to mass-initiate communication to pump up profits.
2. Because there is no live video chat on AFA, the likelihood of communication being impersonated by “Love trolls” is extremely, unreasonably high.
(Read this post for more details.)