I see some men on Elena’s Models who are simply angry and feel that they have been hard done by — by their bosses, previous wives, PPL dating sites, life in general, or something else.
These men then start dating women and for some reason feel it’s a great outlet for expressing their anger, and thus upset girls. What’s the point of doing that? You know the proverb about catching flies with honey or vinegar. Sure, women are not flies, but the general rule applies — if you cannot say anything nice, say nothing.
Another good saying is you don’t have to behave like a pig, even if someone threw some dirt at you. Get rid of anger, and everyone wins — fist of all you.
Sure, dating can be frustrating at times, but only if you don’t know how to do it right.
When you realize it’s purely a numbers game, you don’t worry if someone is not nice to you (it happens to the best of us, I assure you), and it’s nothing personal — this woman may have had a bad day at work, or another guy has just been horrible to her on the site, and she is upset. Nothing to do with you! You are OK.
Have you seen 2015 children’s movie “Inside Out”? I urge you to catch it in cinemas, if it’s still showing, or download it. It’s actually fun to watch, and it shows with precision how we choose our reactions in response to external stimuli (other people’s behaviors and actions), and that there is a palette of responses available to us, from which anger is nearly never the right answer.
If someone tells you something offensive, don’t take it personally:
- Rather become curious — what made them think so?
- Assume they didn’t mean to hurt you — and if they did, why would you give them the pleasure of behaving in a predictable way?
- Do you wish to give them satisfaction by becoming angry?
Rather than being the proverbial “old angry man”, try to give something positive to women you contact. Give them a nice compliment (see how to compliment a woman on dating site), send her a picture of flowers from your garden, write a short poem just for her, based on her profile — give, not demand something from her. Make her smile.
Even if she doesn’t like your looks, she will feel the warmth of your desire to give, and her attitude towards you will be positive, and she will feel good about herself — and this will make her feel good about you.
It is so simple. Walk through a shopping center, and smile at people — and most of them will smile back at you. Frown, and most people will look away. Get rid of anger, and you will become much more attractive and datable.
Read also:
- How to become happy
- How to get women to like you
- 3 signs that she really likes you
- How to write to a woman on a dating site
I like your articles very much. This is a good one. About choosing our responses, Buddhism has interesting advice called the Four Noble Abodes. Buddha said you can maintain inner peace during personal interactions with any person by choosing the right attitude toward the situation and the other person. 1. For friendly people, be friendly. (Easy) 2. For unfriendly people, just be fair and try to remember that they may have a personal problem. For instance, an unhappy childhood. A bad past experience. A misunderstanding. Or maybe just a bad day. Like you said, it might not even be about… Read more »
I don’t know about you, but if I were to do this: “Walk through a shopping center, and smile at people — and most of them will smile back at you. ” Most people would assume I’m crazy. “Why is he smiling for no reason. Be careful. He’s probably a lunatic.”
And besides: I hate shopping centers! 😉
🙂 🙂 🙂
I guess it depends how you smile 😉
(I didn’t know you needed a reason to smile? I thought it was perfectly legal, whether you have a reason or not.)