It’s been a constant source of frustration for social scientists that surveys of men and women give very different numbers when respondents are asked how many partners they had in their lifetime. On average, men report twice as many partners as women do, which is statistical improbability.

Why statistics are right and wrong at the same time

When people in 3 countries were asked to guess how many partners men have by the age of 45-54, most respondents guessed correctly. In the USA, the number is 19, while in UK and Australia it’s 17.

Most people guessed around these numbers.

However, when asked about women, most Americans think that ladies have about 27 partners in a lifetime. In fact, females indicate it’s 12. Men overestimate the number of partners claimed by females by 225%.

Why is this happening?

First, researchers believe that males tend to wish to enlarge the extent of their sexual successes, while females prefer to downplay it. Thus, certain types of sexual activities may not be viewed as qualifying for the term “partner” by females, while they are seen as such by males.

Another guess is the use of professional sex services by males, who may see it as a bona fide sexual partner encounter.

There is also a study where female college students were asked how many partners they had, but there were 3 groups:

1. The first group had conditions similar to an online anonymous survey.
2. The second group was made to believe that someone was viewing responses as they were given.
3. The third group was hooked up to a fake lie detector and women told their answers would be checked by the machine.

When researchers checks the scores, they weren’t surprised; the answers went as expected.

1. The first “anonymous” group had the score of 3.4.
2. The second “monitored” group had the score of 2.6.
3. The third “lie detector” group had the score of 4.4.

Only the third group had similar answers with the men in the study.

How much sex people actually have?

Looking further in the line perception vs. reality, people in the USA and UK were asked how often, in their opinion, young men and women aged 18-29 had sex.

On average, the answer about men in Iplos study on misconceptions was 14, so respondents believe that males of this age group tend to make love every second day.

The real number? In UK it’s 5 and in the USA only 4. Yes, 4-5 times a month.

When people were asked about the sexual pursuits of females, guys were so overly eager to think that girls are doing it a lot, they overestimated the actual number by 440%. Possibly, because men enjoy making love so much, they think that females surely take advantage of their opportunities to jump in bed?

Guys in UK think girls are enjoying intimacy 22 times a month and USA males guessed it was 23. In fact, it’s about 5 times a month in the UK and 6 times in the USA. Which is actually about the same as the real number for men, so we can say that this seems realistic.

However, even women overestimate how much lovemaking other girls are enjoying. They think it’s around 12 times in 4 weeks.

Women’s guess about men’s pursuits is also slightly higher than what they think about other females and similar to what men think of other males (13 in the USA and 14 in Britain).

“We are wrong about nearly everything”, Iplos authors conclude.

Read also:

• Russians are becoming more conservative in love and sex
• Sex helps older adults’ brain function
• No sex for old men: Only 30% of 65-year-olds in Russia engage in lovemaking
• What young Russian women think of sex, relationships, and family life?