When western men start dating women from Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, they often get bewildered when a lady gets offended. What is the best course of action in this case?
How to deal with the situation when a woman got offended
Best of all, of course, is to avoid making a woman offended. It’s easier said than done, because ladies from Ukraine, Russia can be very sensitive to certain topics and easily take offense.
These topics are best to be avoided altogether.
Among these things are:
- Any sexual questions or innuendoes. Women from Russia, Ukraine do not talk about sex even with men they are intimate with, it’s just some type of taboo. And they definitely are not going to talk about sex with a man they are not intimate with.
- Questions of the type, “Why such a beautiful girl is single?” The lady hears, “What’s wrong with you?” She is single for the same reason you don’t have a partner. She cannot meet the right guy!
- Anything bad about her country. You may think that she wants to immigrate and dislikes her country, but most likely she loves her country as the mother loves a child, and anything bad about her child will be taken as an offence to her.
Be careful about saying things in writing. This is how arguments start.
What to do with a lady who got offended?
These tips will help you if the lady seems upset and offended.
- First, don’t offend her more! This can happen if you start explaining her why you did what you did or said what you said. You may inadvertently make it even worse.
- Second, apologize wholeheartedly! Even if you are right — especially if you are right. Just apologize and don’t explain anything. Say that you are sorry, you were totally wrong, and you want her to be happy. She may realize that she was wrong, too (possibly, more wrong than you). There is no need to spell it out! The person who is smarter and stronger (hopefully, it’s you) simply does what is required to restore peace, immediately.
- Third, monitor feedback more carefully in the future. Usually ladies get offended not to a single thing but to several things that have been a bit prickly but they let them go and said nothing. Then, when something else comes up the proverbial, ‘the last straw’ situation happens.
- Forth, remember that people get offended more in writing than face to face or on the phone. When you are talking in person, the lady can hear your voice and usually it’s not as offensive or she can say something straight away and it doesn’t turn into a fight. But in writing, it’s very easy to start a fight. Be careful.
Want more tips how to handle situations in dating? Download ‘VIP coaching manual’ by Elena Petrova. It’s an 8-hour audio course that explains all you need to know about dating Eastern European women!
Read also:
- 10 deadly sins of dating Russian women
- 9 things that make you less attractive
- 2 things that will instantly change your results on Elenasmodels.com
- 20 tips for dating in Kiev: Ukrainian women vs. western women
This “You offended me” nonsense is precisely why many men have zero success on Elena’s. I’ve sent messages that are 100% complimentary — with none of the alleged mistakes listed in this story — and STILL had women send a nasty reply! (I told one woman she was marvelously unique, yet she whined, “Am I supposed to be impressed by a line you probably tell every girl on Elena’s?”). No, I’m not defending blatantly bad behavior. But too many Russian ladies have a chip on their shoulder, way too eager to find a reason to be “offended.” Why are they… Read more »
Joe, that’s why as you say you “have zero success on Elena’s”.
The meaning of your communication is the response you get.
Women actually told me they consider guys who write in their profiles “romantic” things to be “idiots” (direct quote).
What they want to hear is: “I want to get married and I am looking for a wife”. If you want to be complimentary, tell her she looks like your future wife! 😉
This will be the compliment she wants to hear.
Nice try, Elena, do you always blame the victim? First, I did NOT say I have “zero success.” I said “many men have zero success,” so please read more carefully. From your attempts to blame me or Vladimir (below) for getting nasty replies to our innocent texts, it’s clear that your default answer is that men are always at fault. I’m amused at how you unsuccessfully tried to turn the tables on Vladimir and ask, “Wouldn’t you be offended if I assume you date western women?”…. yet Vlad destroyed your logic by clarifying he wasn’t offended at all. I know… Read more »
Joe,
Google the phrase ‘The meaning of your communication is the response you get.’
You are not a victim.
You are simply the person who refuses to take responsibility for his own results.
What is nasty about my responses?
You’d like to hear some encouragement, ‘You are right, Joe, these women should be delighted to hear your compliments’?
Here, you have it 😉
Do you think this will change your results?
If you are truly the beautiful woman in the photo to the top left! Will you marry me and have my baby!
Mark, sorry to disappoint you, mate.
It’s a stock photo that is featured on top of this article — and I am married! 😀 😉
She is’ soooo good looking and get this, a girl that looked kinda like her got on a bus with me in Sochi.
I never said your reply was nasty. Again, please read more carefully next time. I said you were wrong to blame Vladimir for receiving an unwarranted nasty reply from a single lady. Clearly you have no concept what modern feminism is. Just as women deserve equal career opportunities, equal respect, and equal freedoms, they also deserve equal accountability. But by your logic, a woman can behave as rudely as she likes, and not only is she never held to task, but you want guys like poor Vlad to apologize. You’ve made yourself clear. Ladies = always right. Men = always… Read more »
Joe, if you are looking for a feminist, Russia may not be the right place to look for a wife. Stick to dating your local New York girls.
I’m really not into long arguments. If you don’t like anything I say, you have the option to leave and find someone else to talk to — that’s the intelligent scenario. The unintelligent scenario is arguing with a stranger on the internet when there is a beautiful life to be lived 😉
I recently contacted a nice lady from Russia and we chatted for a while. She told me she lived in China for 7 years. I asked if she was married while she was there and she said she no, she was single. So I casually asked: “So, do you like Asian men? just asking”. I was assuming that being single for 7 years in China she must have dated men there (although, of course, they could have been Western men). She seemed immediately offended by my question and blocked me. Everything seemed fine prior to me asking that question. Of… Read more »
Vladimir M.,
Are you Russian? So, do you like western women? Just asking…
How did it sound? I assumed that you are Russian by your name and immediately assumed you are dating western women because you live abroad. Does it sound intrusive? I don’t know, but if you feel offended, then it is.
The meaning of your communication is the response you get!
On a side note, I am not Russian.
I was married to an American (native born). I tell every woman.
Actually, a lot of Russian and Ukrainian women ask me why I am looking for a woman in Russia.
I am not offended.
But maybe Russian women are much more sensitive to questions about race and ethnicity.
V
Vladimir, asking why you are looking for a woman in Russia or Ukraine is normal. It’s bewildering for women that a guy is unable to find a woman to marry at home. Any guy who wants to get married to Russia can easily do it.
Hi Elena, this may not be for public as it is long, but I don’t mind if you post it. First of all kudos on this website. I have found 3-4 legit websites for meeting women in Russia (and Ukraine) online, but yours is definitely the best, in my opinion. And of course there are scam sites like Anastasia which have 50,000 women listed, but probably 80-90% are fake – not fake that the women don’t exist, just that they are not communicating with the man (probably some translator in dating agency is writing letters). Essentially such websites are scams… Read more »
Vladimir, your observations are correct. My advice is general and every woman is different, you are correct in it. But if a man follows my advice, he is unlikely to screw up, which is likely to happen if he doesn’t. Like the advice, ‘have a spare tire in your car’, you may not need it – but if you do have it, it helps to be safe. The same principle here. You may want to question it and you may want to talk about sex, and you may find some women are open to it – but most guys have… Read more »
Thanks!
V
Elena, “Any guy who wants to get married to Russia can easily do it”
Can you clarify? Interesting conversation.
J
John,
The life goal of a Russian woman is to get married.
Russian women are brainwashed they are only going to be happy when married. They are ready to clean, cook, wash, iron, satisfy the husband in all aspects (incl. bed), just so they can be married. Russian girls believe it’s a woman’s responsibility, to do all these things.
And there are 86 men for 100 women population-wide. The demographic imbalance starts from the age category 25+, do I need to explain more?
Nice blog, I very much enjoy reading them when they come out. About 20 years ago, a book came out that was very popular called “Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus” It’s a good read even today. The premise is that communication between men and woman is difficult because each sex thinks and communicates differently. Multiply this by 100 and you have the differences between men and women of different cultures. Multiply by 1000 and you have two people of different cultures and trying to communicate over the internet. It’s important to realize that communication is 90%… Read more »
William, this is so true! 🙂
Hi Elena) I certainly believe that you are the “expert”. I have had discussions where I may have offended with out the intention of. It does seem that your blogs are targeted to men. Do the woman have a different blog? The reason I ask is that while you educate us men on how not to offend to you also educate the woman on western culture and encourage them to not be easily offended? Thanks.
John Ins, certainly there is Russian blog for women.
But just like you find it uneasy to follow my advice (and may not even believe it 😉 ), the same story with women. People find it hard to manage their habitual reactions, feelings, and behavior programs.
The ones who take 100% responsibility for their results (not expecting the other party to know or change), take feedback, and do what works, these people are successful though.
So, it’s really up to you! 🙂
I’m dying to say something about a big cultural difference but I don’t want to die, so I wont. My fellow Americans, watch you mouth when your talking to an Eastern European human being!!
Haha classic, apart from all the girly stuff that the writer said. Listen up mates, women get offended by everything, if you feel like you did wrong, apologize appropriately. If you feel like what you said was right and she’s being a little kid about it, leave her ass and don’t look back. 80% of the time if she likes you she’ll initiate the conversation and you’ll have power, if doesn’t like you that much, it’s the end of that chapter. Win win.