Eastern European women are known for their strong family values and traditional upbringing. However, there are more principles and standards that these ladies hold dear than the ones relating to marriage and kids.
Family values
Marriage is still at the heart of life principles of Eastern European women. Being career-minded is frowned upon, and ladies who love their jobs and strive to be successful prefer to keep quiet about their achievements.
The common notion in countries of the former Soviet Union is for women to be the homemakers and for men to build a career. Even women who are educated and have good jobs see their primary goal as child-rearing and making their families happy.
The Russian government, struggling with the demographic hole of aging and declining population, is actively promoting procreation as the major life achievement for females.
Eastern European women feel that wanting anything else than the happiness of the mother and the wife would be unwise and lead to personal discontent.
Work ethics
Women in Eastern Europe work nearly as much as men. Before they are married, most women strive to get a tertiary education. This comes from the Soviet times when both men and women were expected to work and contribute to the society — the paradigm brought by communists in 1917, which was in vogue for 70 years until Perestroika (1987).
After a marriage a woman is expected to give up her career aspirations in order to raise the family.
In the modern times post-2000, the expectation for young women to study and work didn’t change. However, after the marriage a “good woman” is now expected to be raising the family, while her “good husband” is working and providing for the household. If the family cannot afford for the woman not to work, then the husband and the wife may feel he is not “good enough” to provide the desired ideal for the family.
The level of education in Eastern European countries is so high that even low level positions like a secretary or an office manager are advertised as requiring someone with a degree, and have enough qualified job seekers applying for them. Over 60% of people have degrees. The percentage of degree-holders is higher among females.
It is not unusual for families to survive on a single income by the wife, if the husband is unable to find a job.
Very few pairs can afford to survive on one income in Eastern Europe, so most women still work after marriage. However, it doesn’t mean that “the ideal” of the wife who devotes herself for taking care of her family is dead: It’s something that couples aspire for.
Thus, in a relationship a woman would be expected to give up her career aspirations in order to provide a comfortable home for her husband and kids.
The values in Eastern Europe say that a man would feel uncomfortable if his wife was earning more than him. Hence women try to play the second fiddle and rather hope to encourage their men to reach for the heights than attempt to achieve career goals for themselves.
Community moral
In general, Eastern European women believe that rich people have acquired their wealth by indecent means and have poor morals. This is why, while ladies would like to be well off, they believe at the same time that wealth would mean unfair treatment of other people.
It’s similar to the Biblical statement that it’s easier for a camel to pass the needle’s eye than for a rich person to enter the heaven’s paradise.
Deep inside their hearts Eastern European women don’t believe that a man can be both rich and good natured, and rarely do anything to achieve wealth in their own right. Striving for riches is not considered as contributing to the society but rather as a selfish and immoral way of life.
The desire to have a good life and the belief that it can only be achieved by deceitful means create an inner conflict in Eastern European women’s values, which you may observe if ask appropriate questions.
Sexism
Male chauvinism and sexism are not simply normal in Eastern European countries of the post-USSR, but they are actively encouraged. While women are equal to men in the eyes of the law, the actual societal attitudes are poles apart.
Eastern European ladies enjoy thinking of themselves as dainty and weak and prefer to avoid intiative.
Women believe that they are dissimilar to men, and should be treated differently. They purposefully try to avoid responsibility and initiative.
Eastern European women often say that they want a man “who knows what he wants”, a “real man”, and a leader. This is what they have been taught to believe a man’s role is, and her role as a woman should be to follow, to encourage, to support her husband or partner.
Extreme attention to beauty and looks is also part of this paradigm: You will rarely see a Russian woman without makeup. They look like they are going to an exciting party, when in reality she simply walked out to fetch a bottle of milk. Making herself to look like a desirable sex object is a part of a woman’s job, they believe.
“The wife should remain interesting to her husband,” you may hear ladies say. By “interesting” they mean desirable.
Eastern European girls are taught from an early age that feminism is a bad word, and being a feminist means hating men. Russian and Eastern European girls like to be treated like ladies: Guys paying for them, opening doors, moving chairs. If a man doesn’t do it, they would be offended and feel devalued.
After the years of forced Soviet equality, modern Eastern European ladies embraced the notion of femininity and enjoy thinking of themselves as dainty and weak. The exemplar saying here would be: “One silly woman decided she wanted to be equal, and now I have to get up at 6 am, and plod to work.”
They actually think that being treated as weak and inferior in a patronizing manner is the sign of a man being a gentleman. Think Rhett Butler from Gone with The Wind, that’s the ultimate “real man”. Being macho is an admirable quality in the eyes of Eastern European ladies.
Conclusion
All in all, marriage agencies don’t lie that dating a Eastern European woman is like courting a model with the values of your grandmother.
It’s a rather weird combination, but this is what these societies formed in females over the period of the last 25 years since the times of Perestroika and the following collapse of the Soviet Union.
The change from the “traditional family values” is very slow there, with all their good and bad parts still being pretty much alive and kicking.
Eastern European ladies seeking foreign men for relationships (due to the horrendous demographics in these countries) are certainly not “mail order brides” but they do possess a distinctively different set of views and beliefs to western females.
If you are communicating with a woman from post-Soviet countries, you would be wise to remember about it.
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I will also like to add the food. Ukrainian/Russian food is amazingly delicious! A lot of Slavic women can cook very well. In my case, my Ukrainian wife who is serving on active-duty in the US Army, working 12 hours each day still comes home and cooks up a delicious meal for us. Of course I help out with the cooking too. Overall, if you are lucky enough like me to find a Slavic girl that will love you for who you are and not because of your bank account or citizenship, then you have it made. Everyday feels like… Read more »
Yes, many Slavic girls take pride in being good cooks.
When my wife used to date guys back in Ukraine, she would never cook anything besides simple potatoes and sandwiches for her countrymen because she said she will only cook for a husband. So when she finally got married and she started cooking for the first time in her life and it tasted very good, especially the Ukrainian/Russian meat patties, the cabbage dish, and the borscht is my favorite. Funny story, when my wife and I were waiting in the social security office to get her social security card after we got married, the guy that was working on her… Read more »
So what are the Russian values about sex? Russian woman look very sexy and I can’t imagine them having very traditional views about sex. 😛
Henk,
There is an article about sex and Russian women’s attitude about it.
They are rather prudish about it and not very open. Just like women of 1950’s were in your country. They consider a man offering sex as an offense but like stalkers, they think it shows “true love”, this is how a man is supposed to behave in Russia if he wants to get a girl.
The main value of Slavic women is family and home. However traditional and old-fashioned that sounds, it’s still the reality. Most women are brought up in such a way that they could become perfect wives and mothers. It really doesn’t matter much how successful they are in their career. But the real happiness is their home. That’s why Slavic women are used to the housekeeping, making everyday home-cooked meals for their husband and taking care fo children without 24/7 help of the nanny.
As I understood, the values of Eastern European women are rather controversial. That’s quite a problem for them. It seems that their values are somewhere in the middle between the values of the West and the values of Far East. Very interesting and useful information.
I don’t really agree with generalizing family values of Eastern European women. For example, there is so much difference between Russian or Serbian and Croatian women. I’ve been sharing a flat for quite a while with a Croatian girl (aged 30). She was so carrier-oriented and was always considering herself too young for marrying a guy as she still has some other goals to achieve rather than becoming a homemaker. Plus, unlike Russian girls, Croatian women don’t really appreciate when a guy pays for her
Not everything exactly like this. I mean the article above. Things are more complicated in real life.