The short answer to the question how soon you should meet after connecting on the site sounds like this: The sooner, the better — unless your date that has been scheduled dumped you and you are hastily trying to arrange someone else on a short notice. Then it looks desperate and girls don’t like to feel like a replacement. But if you are in your home country, then she will be the most excited if you want to visit her soon.
Relationship dynamics
In any case, unless you start talking about a potential visit or a vacation together within 2-3 weeks after the first communication, the progression of your potential relationship will be halted.
Relationships dynamics dictate that it should progress and move forward. If this doesn’t happen, it dies. The lady loses interest or you both become too entrenched in the online communication, building unrealistic expectations, that it can only end up in a disappointment.
You need to build a real relationship. The initial stage of online communication only helps you to find our about the other person the things that are important for you and could be deal breakers — make sure you ask all the right questions. But once you feel that you could be potentially good for each other, start talking about a real life date — yes, one of you needs to travel to make it happen. Or maybe you both decide to travel to an exciting destination.
You don’t need to immediately jump on the plane — but you do need to start talking about a meeting after 2-3 weeks of chatting and emailing.
Here is the advice of one of Elena’s Models clients. (The original comment arrived to this post.)
When should you meet?
By Jeroen
The ladies want to meet asap. Elena has another blog post where she writes what the ladies think of months long correspondence: “yuck”. Rightfully so.
I am a man and in two weeks I will meet a Ukrainian lady in Warsaw. I am counting the days until I can meet her. Once I find a potential mate I want to meet immediately to see if we have chemistry.
How much time should we wait until arranging a personal get together?
One month. That is in my opinion the right amount of time between the first correspondence and meeting in real life. The ladies love it when you can come so soon. You immediately distinguish yourself from the competition and gain a massive advantage over her other suitors.
Why would she spend time on other men who could just be keyboard Romeo’s and never make the trip to her? Or with guys who promise to come in one year? (The chance of that happening is slim.)
Phil, if I were you I would freeze my search on this site until about 2 months before you can go on holiday again. Then, start looking and writing short messages. Continue on Whatsapp or Skype etc.
Read also:
- Is it possible for me to meet a good Russian woman for marriage?
- Cheap places to meet Russian girls
- How many women are you talking to?
- How to get a professional quality photo for your profile for free
Hi Elena.
Your articles are priceless and you are right on target. An amazing wealth of knowledge. Thank you!
Mark.
Mark, thank you for the kind words, Mark, — and good luck in your search! 🙂
Hi Elena! Will Russian ladies travel to Kiev to meet?
Sorry if this is the wron place to post this question 😉
Andy,
Some Russian ladies will travel to Moscow, the capital of Russia, to meet. Many Russian ladies will be happy to meet abroad in a holiday resort — Thailand, Turkey, Bali, Dominican Republic, etc.
But Ukraine is not a country where Russians feel comfortable traveling right now. It’s like asking a Palestinian girl to travel to Israel to meet.
Not only Ukraine is not Russia, but these countries are really unfriendly to each other citizens at the moment.
Thank you very much for the answer! You definitely helped me to clear things up a bit. Americans can also experience some difficulties traveling to Russia right now so perhaps trying to meet in one of the countries you suggested would be best.
Andy, I haven’t heard about any difficulties for Americans traveling in Russia. Thousands of Americans travel to Moscow and St. Petersburg every week and are in Russia right now. You just need to apply for a visa, Russia is now issuing multi-entry 3-year visas. If you are seriously dating, having an open visa and being able to visit at any time will be worth it. Besides, it’s worth to see the country to understand that it’s not some low level third world country where women seek to marry a foreigner to escape poverty. Most Americans have little understanding how impressive… Read more »
Again thank you Elena. I was looking at the US State Dept. travel warnings and its only specific for the Caucasus area but there is a general warning for the rest of the country. I am very intrigued with traveling to Russia someday.
Andy, there is general warning for most countries… unless it’s Canada, Australia or NZ, there is probably a warning! Even for Europe. And there is definitely a higher level warning for Ukraine than for Russia, but Americans are visiting both countries all the time.
It’s still pretty straightforward for an American to get a tourist visa for Russia right now (or was as of May 2018 when I visited my fiancee — who I met on EM). You can do everything by mail, either directly or through an agency.
For a Russian to get a tourist visa for the US right now, though — that’s just about impossible. So her first visit to the US is likely going to be on a fiancee visa or a spouse visa. If you get to that point, look at the advantages and disadvantages of either approach.
After reading the contributing article regarding the pension reform in Russia, would it be advantageous to list my income source as being a pensioner at 52? Or should I list my work as retired, since I receive my retirement income now due to disability, as opposed to later from old age? I have learned that Russians use the term pensioner when in the US that term has almost completely disappeared because of massive changes in the financial system in the 1970’s.
Roger, “pensioner” doesn’t sound particularly good in Russian. You can simply say you have stable income and you don’t need to work; no need to explain the details unless your relationship is getting serious.
Food for thought! One month is too early to determine if a relationship will have the ingredients to be successful. It takes 3 months or so to get to know a person well with daily communication. Yet being there face to face on a daily basis puts everything into perspective. You need to go to the test of trial to figure out if you are compatible with one another, and one month is not going to do it. But It also depends on one’s objectives. What are you looking for? When two people are committed to one another, patience and… Read more »
Joe, it depends on hours of face-to-face communication. You could be exchanging 1 mail a week for a year and not know the person any better than after 1 week of daily communication face-to-face via video link for an hour. You are an adult; you know what you want. If this is the type of person you want, start planning a personal meeting in 2 weeks, it’ll take weeks before you meet. If you don’t like the way they behave, pull the plug. It’s easier to judge the person’s character as you are doing something together, as compared to exchanging… Read more »
Elena, with all due respects…foolish are those whom make a trip in a month to meet a lady they begun communicating with. Most women are collecting contacts and communicating with more than one men. Some will put themselves offline once they have reached a certain number of contacts to select from and actually display that on your website. That is insane. Most likely of the 6 to 8 men she is communicating with, her heart is already set on one or two of the men she would definitely settle for. She could have all arriving to meet her, but she… Read more »
Joe, that’s why you are single 😉 Read today’s success story from a lovely couple who met in 4 weeks after initially connecting on the site! Guys who are so scared to “lose money” are foolish, not the ones who follow their hearts. You are losing more money by continually investing your time (which could be better spent on something else) into dead contacts. If a girl spends 1-2 hours daily talking to you, she is not talking to 8-10 other guys. It’s simply impossible. The girls who send you a couple of “love love love” texts a day, these… Read more »