Голос помогает сближению лучше, чем перепискаAre you still relying on written word in your search for love online? It may be harming your chances to connect with a wonderful woman who loves you for who you are. The reason is that written word doesn’t allow you to connect to the person behind the screen properly, while voice communication makes your relationship warmer and allows to build trust.

Why voice is better than written words

According to a recent research by California scientists, voice messages are accepted by recipients with a greater trust than written ones.

Berkeley researcher Juliana Schroeder from the University of California said that voice conveys natural cues that people are able to decipher on unconscious level, thus allowing the speaker appear more thoughtful and genuine. This is not possible in case of viewing a written letter or reading an Internet post.

Thus, the way a message is conveyed affects how the person who is getting it feels about it.

The experiment

In the research, people were getting messages as full videos, voice audio files, or transcripts. Then they were asked to rate whether the author was intelligent, cultured, warm, or vice versa, appeared superficial and cold.

It was expected that voice messages would be taken better than written words, but what was surprising is that video and audio messages received similar ratings.

In other words, you don’t even need a video to appear warmer and more genuine; voice is all it takes.

Particularly, if the receiver of the message and the communicator had an issue, voice helped to convince the listener to consider the opposing point of view as worthy.

The researchers concluded, “If mutual appreciation and understanding of the mind of another person is the goal of social interaction, then it may be best for the person’s voice to be heard.”

Talk to women, don’t just write

Obviously, in the experiment researchers didn’t have the goal of dating a woman with a purpose of a long-term relationship. It was about valuing the quality of communication and the best way to deliver a message.

In dating video could be extremely important, especially if you have not met in person as yet.

This is why the best way to date is to ask women to meet on Skype. In real life you would be seeing the person regularly if you were to establish a relationship.

It works the same in international dating. Discussing things via Skype definitely beats exchange of letters, particularly, it speeds it up substantially, and now we have it confirmed by science. Voice is better than written words!

Harry (USA) and Emily (Ukraine): The story of my wife and me. Read also:

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Roger W Oakes
Roger W Oakes

Very interesting conclusion! But this, of course, applies generally and cannot apply universally as there are people with disabilities and unique needs and limitations. As an autistic, I for one, ALWAYS appreciate written over any verbal or video as that meets my need to decode or reverse translate what is written into my internal thought processes. This creates a very real and practical problem communicating and connecting with other real people, especially a person with a different cultural and linguistic background. The inherent differences in men and women certainly are there as obstacles for all, even in the best of… Read more »


Thank you, Roger, for the kind words 🙂


I can totally relate to every single word. I don’t Know why but when I start chatting to somebody on the Internet I’m always like “send me a voice message, do you want to use Skype?” When you hear the voice of the person, your communication becomes warmer. You feel that you can trust him or her and you are waiting for the next voice message with anticipation. Don’t be afraid and you will find your happiness!