The post about dating Russian men as opposed to western guys for some reason became the most popular on the blog. I feel there are many more excellent articles about dating Russian women, but that’s the algorithms that are beyond our control. Because of its popularity, I often receive questions about some particular aspects of cultural behaviours and this time it was about how Russian men change with age.
Do Russian men change for the better with age?
Unfortunately, the men living in Russia predominantly follow the same path that leads them to unhappiness and poor health.
The divorce rate in Russia is over 70% currently. The majority of these broken marriages have kids at the moment of separation and because of cultural attitudes, children nearly always live with the mother and many fathers take no part in their upbringing, often don’t even contribute financially.
Cheating is considered normal in Russia and most people, both guys and girls, sincerely believe that “all men cheat”.
It is believed that a man is some kind of an animal who is unable to control his urges and requires stimulation and variety in his sexual pursuits. Which for males from Russia means having multiple sexual partners, whether he is married or not.
Moreover, guys who don’t cheat are seen as unmanly, with the social conviction that the singular reason why a male doesn’t philander can be only because no woman would accept him. In other words, to be socially valuable, a guy has to cheat on his partner, to be seen as a “real man” by his friends.
As you can see, this social structure is hardly geared towards success in relationships.
The results are what you would expect with such social attitudes. Men and women grown less happy as they age, as opposed to older people typically being more content in western countries.
What happens with Russian guys when they get older?
With age most males turn into alcoholics due to lifelong excessive consumption.
The average life expectancy for a male in Russia is under 65 years — the reason why the recent plan of the government to raise the pension age for males up to 65 years created such a stir (currently men retire at 60) — most guys simply won’t survive to get the pension.
Older Russian men are grumpy, unfit, alcohol-addicted, horribly-looking, chronic-decease-ridden sexists, for the most part.
Yes, there are some nice mature guys who eat healthyly and exercise, but there are 1-2 such gentlemen to 100 douchebags.
This is why Russian women say that western men are better.
I see sometimes Russian guys who come to Australia for a visit. Most of them look 10 years older and have large bellies. They have round, puffed faces, typically unfit and poorly dressed although they wearing expensive branded clothes (or fakes, which are extremely popular in Russia). They drink a lot, have wandering eyes and make sexist jokes. And those guys are some of the better quality people who can afford to travel internationally.
The culture of institutionalized sexism
The whole culture of today’s Russia is built on institutionalized sexism and this isn’t changing — vice versa, traditionalism and patriarchal views are having a comeback, with the government endorsing Christian Orthodox doctrines and seemingly spending more money on building churches than on constructing schools.
However, men from Russia who live abroad change and adapt to the new social environment. They rarely maintain the same social standards and views as the men who live in Russia.
Certainly, I am expressing my personal views here, gathered from experience, feedback of women listing profiles on Elenasmodels.com, review of current online and offline press, talk shows etc.
The current younger generation of males in Russia may have a chance to avoid this fate. Residents of cultural capitals such as Moscow and St. Petersburg also differ from the majority of population. But the present 30-year-olds from regional towns are already on the doomed path, as I see it. They marry early, divorce soon, and then feel broken, submitting to life’s predicaments and adopting fatalistic views that nothing can be changed.
Let me know what are your thoughts about it!
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I would venture to say that these views are even sexist against men to an extent. For example, what if a man chooses to stay a virgin until marriage for religious reasons? Is he viewed as a loser or “unmanly”?
Guest, even women in Russia who choose to stay virgins report being looked at as weird.
Men who are not cheating on their wives are viewed as weird and unmanly.
Men who don’t drink are viewed as unmanly.
The Russian culture is sexist in general, both towards to males and females.
So do Russian women accept that as normal?
How can they be happy with a man that looks at or sleeps around with other women?
Anon,
Read this post: What Russian women think about cheating?
Of course, they are not happy about the man sleeping with other women, but it’s accepted as the universal truth that “All men cheat”.
Which means she’s not going to be better off with another man; all guys are the same.
Men are believed to be unable to control their “sexual urges” and have a natural, overwhelming need for a variety of sexual partners, and a wise wife is required to close her eyes on the husband’s infidelity “to save the family”.
Like farting: unpleasant, but what can you do?
Whatever is causing it, the culture sure spawns a lot of amazing women. So I’m all in support of the Russian culture.
Paul, Russian women are definitely a product of the Russian culture! 🙂