Dating insurance? Sign me up!
Insuring your house and its contents is a routine task for home owners. Drivers feel secure knowing they have a comprehensive vehicle insurance and will be able to get help in case of something going wrong on the road.
Travellers look at insurance options offered for international voyages. It feels better knowing you are able to get assistance away from home.
Should dating sites, too, offer insurance? What do you think?
Realities of online dating
In today’s online dating environment where apps and sites for singles are accessible at the click of a button, people started to consider chatting and meetings as a commodity. It’s easy to get, easy to forfeit.
Women disappearing after a short communication online is a big problem for guys, and ladies are complaining about men’s “ghosting” (vanishing without explaining why they wish to stop talking).
Would it be nice to have some insurance coverage for cases like this on dating sites?
Even worse, some guys and girls turn up not to be the people they described themselves in their profiles. They start chatting and after several weeks of communication when you feel you are in love, there is an urgent situation and you are the only one who can help. By wiring money to another country, so that your beloved can get out of the sticky situation.
Again, it happens with ladies as much as with gentlemen. How about insuring oneself against an unsavoury love story like this?
Some websites offer dating insurance in the way of giving you some extra time or replacing the service if you didn’t manage to achieve your goals. For instance, on Elenasmodels.com if you sent an expression of interest to a woman and she replied positively but didn’t respond to your letter after that, you get the ability to contact someone else.
Tips to avoid scams and heartbreak
While there are no sites offering an official dating insurance where you get paid if things don’t go as you hoped, you are still able to feel protected when chatting online to prospective candidates to the vacant position of Mrs Right.
Just like with any vocation, there are tips and advice that can protect your heart and wallet while seeking love. Let’s see what could possibly go wrong when you endeavour to meet unattached singles online.
‘Ghosting’ and what to do when the person suddenly drops off without a word
The realities of online dating reflect life. People don’t have to continue chatting to you in a bar, even if you have invested time and money in trying to get to know each other. The same happens in relationships that were initiated online via a dating app or website for singles.
You can only keep monitoring your communications and try to go back to what really happened, if someone disappeared on you.
What did you say or do? Anything jumps at you as possibly offensive or capable of triggering someone’s sudden departure? If not, try to apologize and ask the person to kindly enlighten you on what you did wrong. It may be even not something you did, but something you didn’t. Possibly, the other person will be open enough to tell you, or maybe not. Anyway, you have tried.
Tried it, doesn’t work?
If they don’t come back telling you why they have chosen to stop communication, bear in mind it could be that she disliked your taste of clothes in the last picture — or something just as flimsy as that.
Don’t think it’s a joke — I have talked to a Russian lady who told me in length how shocked she was when her admirer put on socks of a wrong colour for the pants and shoes he was wearing. She was genuinely put off and decided he definitely wouldn’t be a good match for her.
Sure, you don’t want people with the weird thinking like this! That’s why you should not worry about such sudden departures — assume it’s not you, it’s them. They just didn’t like something about you, because of their personal tastes. You want someone who wants to be with you with all her heart, right? Then, good riddance.
To get some kind of insurance in cases like this, simply talk to several women at the same time. One more, one less, not a big deal. Chat to 3-10 ladies that you find attractive and compare how they behave, how much interest in you they are showing. It’s slightly more work, but you can be sure there is still someone else to chat to, even if one girl does the “ghosting” trick.
7 signs you are being scammed
Now that we figured out how to get insurance against ghosting in dating, let’s discuss people trying to get something from you.
That’s the main distinctive feature of all scammers — they don’t want YOU, they want something FROM you.
The following are 7 typical signs that you are talking to a scammer:
- Agreeing with you about everything.
- Overly sweet and complimentary.
- Not concerned about: Distance, age gap, cultural differences, language barrier, money required to make things work.
- Typically, they profess some strong financial backing such as an inheritance (female scammers) or high achievements in a professional field (male scammers), trying to make you believe they are well off.
- Often claim to be widowed. This answers questions why such a wonderful person is single at this age. Alternatively, the scammer is younger and states, “Age is just a number”.
- Love to talk about honesty and trust.
- Prefers typing to talking face-to-face.
In fact, the remedy and insurance against dating scammers is to chat on video. Scammers do not wish to be seen, as they know any video chats on Skype could be recorded, so they could be found.
Scammers who plan to rip you off financially typically do not use their own photos. They simply download photos and videos off Facebook or YouTube and then try to lip sync the videos. But they cannot do it successfully for a long time, so they cut the video chat short, citing connection problems, and then continue writing via email and messengers, delaying any further video conversations in real time.
This is why chatting on video for a long time will give you a sure-fire insurance against people who are not who they say they are. In today’s dating world, this is a must.
Don’t invest much time or money into an online relationship, unless you communicated face-to-face several times on video.
The biggest international dating scam
There is another scam that is omnipresent in today’s international dating. It involves any dating site that charges per message.
Such dating sites are called “pay per letter” (pay per video, pay per communication, pay per message) or PPL.
If you are on a dating site that charges per message (usually via pre-paying in bulk), you are being scammed 100%.
It’s not an exaggeration.
- The first message you received was NOT from the girl in photos. It was mass sent to people who could potentially “bite the bait”.
- You are not corresponding with “the girl who liked you” and wants to be with you. You are writing back and forth to someone who is being paid for writing to you. This is the goal of the website, to collect money for communication, however little the amount may seem to you. Enough of these messages give a nice bonus to a person in Ukraine where the average monthly wage is only USD 300.
- Does the girl in photos exist? Yes, and most often she also gets 10% of what you pay for communication, thinking it was her who was writing to you. She also gets bonuses for gifts and flowers you send via website.
- Can you meet the girl in photos? Maybe. Some girls sign up to earn “passive income” (see #3 above) and a set of professional beautiful photos for her Instagram for free (the people who get paid for communication, agents, pay for the initial photo session, knowing they will make a lot of money on people like you later), with the condition they will never have to meet the men who are being scammed via these photos. Others agree to meet men if they visit Ukraine and are being paid to be present at the “date” around $10 per hour + free meal in a restaurant, for which you pay. The money to pay girls for “dates” comes from the money you pay for the services of a translator (who is ALWAYS present at the “dates”), which is usually around $25-30, so $10 goes to the translator, $10 to the girl, and $10 to the agent. Plus you pay for the meal of the translator and the girl.
- Are there any women who really want to get married to a foreigner? Some of them do. But not to someone like you, most likely. You see, the goal of the agent is to hire women to make money for himself/herself, not to assist ladies to find a husband. So, what she wants is largely irrelevant, for as long as you are paying for messages, photos and videos, send gifts. Women who do wish to find a husband agree to participate in such schemes because they don’t need to do anything and they are presented with men who wish to marry them, plus they are always getting gifts and flowers (actually, a cash payment, not the present itself — the money is split 50/50 between the agent and the woman in photos, often the writer of letters is also getting a share). So, there is no downside for the girl, except for being a part of a scam, but obviously the ones who agree to be a part of this system has no problem with that.
- What if you have a direct email address of the woman? It’s a fake. The mails will go to the same person who is writing messages to you through the site. They will fake misunderstandings in direct communication (purposefully misspelling words, so online translators won’t work) and request to go back to the site where you pay for messages. It could be even a cheaper website, agents usually work with 2-3 different PPL sites, so they may try to attract you back by cheaper prices for mails. But you are still being scammed. Giving a man a “direct email address” is their insurance that you will come back again, thinking there is no way to avoid paying for communication and that “the lady herself” told you it is OK and bona fide.
- What if the woman is gainfully employed? Some guys tell me: “But the woman I am talking to is 43 and has a job, she doesn’t need money, she is gainfully employed.” Check how much Ukrainian women earn. Of course, they need money, even if they have a job. No one would be against of getting cash for doing nothing (not even you), the only thing that would stop some people is the fact that the cash is coming from a scam — but again, that’s obviously not a concern for women participating in the PPL scheme where they know someone else is writing letters under their identities, allowing them to get money for presents sent by foreign admirers. That’s by far the largest stream of income for women in photos and the agents.
- What if I hired a private investigator in Ukraine and he confirmed she is a real person and has a job? Sure, the woman in photos does exist, she is a real person and may have a job. The story told you by a hired writer in messages will not be too embellished as compared to her real story. It is also potentially possible for a private investigator to find a person in social networks if you simply provide her photos, name and city. She may be even aware that you are one of the men who is writing to her on a dating site, from which she is getting presents from time to time. Will it give you insurance against being taken advantage of? Absolutely not. But not paying for messages and talking on video for free, this would.
Understanding PPL fraud
If you want to fully understand pay per letter fraud, read these posts in full:
- My job as a PPL bride: The story of 18-year-old Ukrainian girl who worked for a marriage agency
- Hilarious Job Ads of Marriage Agencies in Ukraine (selected from 222 vacancies)
- Leaks by agents expose endemic fakes in PPL dating
- List of PPL sites
- Elena, why ‘This Company’ is not on the list of PPL sites?
What insurance can you get in case of dating via a pay-per-message site? None!
You ARE being defrauded 100% if you are using one of these sites with paid communication
Don’t listen to anything they say or promise, regardless of who is the operator, how many years they’ve been in business. If you pay for communication, you are being scammed, period.
If you wish insurance against heartbreak, never use pay-per-messages dating sites. None of them is better than the others. The essence is the same.
If you still don’t believe this is true, read the novel by the classic of American literature O.Henry “The Exact Science of Matrimony”.
This scheme was known 100 years ago.
Just like in the 100-year-old scam, fraudsters want to make you believe that it’s not a fraud if there is a real woman they can present. Well, is it a fraud, in your opinion? Then it’s the same with PPL dating sites.
Sorry to break your bubble. But better you find out about it now then later after you have invested a lot of emotions and funds.
Good luck in your dating and make sure you get insurance against scams and heartbreak, when contacting people online!
We know it’s possible to find love on the Internet, so all you need is to make sure that you only deal with genuine people and avoid the typical paths where unscrupulous operators are able to catch unsuspecting victims. Now that you know about these things, you are able to separate truth from lies!
Share this article