A recent research by American psychologists revealed that 1 in 4 women (or maybe even 1 in 3) goes on dates just to eat, without any desire to form a relationship, long or short. Besides, such behaviour is more typical of females who support traditional gender roles. How many girls do ‘foodie calls’ in Russia and Ukraine, what do you think?
‘Foodie call’: Is it ever OK to accept an invitation to a date just to eat?
Since men are usually paying for meals on dates, there is a share of women who accept dinner invitations only with a view to get a free meal. A recent series of polls analysed by psychologists from California, USA, showed that even in the 21 century, when food is in abundance, some females take an opportunistic view to dating by agreeing on dinners just for the sake of a free meal.
Scientists called it ‘foodie calls’ (analogue of ‘bootie calls’).
The data was obtained via an anonymous online polling in 2 surveys. The researchers specifically were looking at the behaviour of heterosexual women, although they believe the desire to entertain and skip on paying is not only typical of ladies — both genders do it when they have an opportunity and ethics to match.
Dark personality and belief in traditional gender roles
Ladies who scored higher on the scale of ‘dark triad’ personality traits (narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism) as well as those who believe in traditional gender roles of males and females tend to jump on free meal opportunities offered by romantic suitors more often. Ladies who do it also found it more socially acceptable (no surprise here).
This poses a question: What about women in Russia and Ukraine? And what about Russian women in USA — would they score higher than their American counterparts?
We all know that they strongly believe in traditional gender roles, as well as follow the idea that ‘the man has to pay for the date’, no exceptions. If this research was done in countries of the former USSR, what do you think the results of such a study would be?
In America, apparently, 23 to 33% of females are ready to admit on conditions of anonymity that they have accepted such invitations from men, only to enjoy a meal for free.
It’s entirely possible, however, that the actual share of female gourmet daters could be higher. Survey participants were self-reporting, and we know ladies tend to underrate undesirable behaviours, even if the report is anonymous. Remember, when females were asked about the number of intimate partners and told the results are checked by a lie detector, the numbers went up.
So, we could make an educated guess that the actual number could be double of that. Mind you, the majority of women, of course, don’t do things like this all the time. Just occasionally, when they are hungry, or the option of the quality of food or entertainment is exceptionally good.
Are foodie calls acceptable or not? Women who practice them think it’s OK.
1 in 4 ladies in the USA loves a free meal
The group of researchers including Brian Collisson, Jennifer Howell, and Trista Harig published their work in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science. It was a discussion on the news that prompted scientists to look at the phenomenon and attempt to quantify what share of population was participating in such behaviour.
- The first study involved 820 females: 40% were single, 33% were married, 27% were in a long-term relationship. The study looked at answers of heterosexual women, who were asked a series of questions including psychological profiling and the history of ‘foodie calls’. 23% of respondents, or 1 in 4, revealed that they used a date invitation to score a free meal, although most of them indicated they only did it rarely or occasionally. The females who were not doing it themselves found it moderately or completely unacceptable; others who took chances to dine for free viewed them as more acceptable.
- The second study included a similar questionnaire, which was given to 357 heterosexual females. In this group, 33% of respondents admitted using a date invitation as a chance for a free meal.
The higher share of ‘foodie call’ ‘ participants among females scoring more points on the ‘dark triad’ factors was consistent among both groups.
People possessing qualities of the ‘dark triad’ are apt to deceptive and exploitative behaviours in relationships, including romantic partnerships, Collisson pointed out. The scholars pointed out that dating for free meals could be used by both genders, not only women, and not only in relationships with men, but in the same gender relations as well.
More questions than answers
However, this research just opened a can of unanswered questions.
Since ‘dating for free dinners’ seem to be rather typical, many aspects remain unclear:
- Do the guys know the girl is only agreeing on seeing him to get a dinner? Or are they most of the time genuinely deceived and think she may be interested?
- Does it happen that such a start leads to a relationship (or at least intimacy)?
This would explain a lot. It’s unlikely that such a large share of women use this option and men are totally unaware of that. If this keeps happening, there must be some benefit to guys in continuing with the trend, what do you think?
Survey among Russian women seeking partners abroad
I asked my Instagram subscribers (Russian-speaking women who are looking for a partner abroad) what do they think about this issue.
- The opinions about how many women are doing this in their countries split nearly equally: 53% think that more females in countries of post-USSR do it as compared to the USA, while 47% believe it’s fewer opportunistic ladies in their location.
- 58% said they think their friends did it.
- 49% of the respondents believe it’s OK to accept a dinner invitation from a man without having any intention for a romantic relationship. (And we know from the American study that people who do it tend to see it as acceptable).
- 30% admitted to have done that themselves.
If you were to ask me, I would say it’s probably 70% of women in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus went to dinners with men who asked them out without any intention to have a relationship. Sure, some of the girls who did it when they were young now feel it’s unacceptable and would never do it again. Narcissism as a trait tends to go down as we mature, which is also proven by recent research.
Possibly, the number of self-reported ‘foodie calls’ in the USA was also way too low in comparison with the actual truth.
What do you think?
Responses to my survey on Instagram (click to enlarge).
What is your take on ‘foodie calls/? Do you have some personal experience or a story to tell? Comment below!
Read also:
- What to do if a Ukrainian woman asks you to go shopping?
- Do Russian men still pay for dates?
- Bob (USA): Russian women make the BEST wives
- 10 deadly sins of dating Russian women
Hello Elena, I have absolutely no issues with women accepting dinner invitations without having any intentions of going any further with the guy! For me, such dinner dates offers the opportunity to get to know the lady and likewise an opportunity for the lady to find out more about me. Actually, I would find it pretty strange, that any man would expect to get into a relationship after just one or two dinner dates. I have been on many dinner dates where it was highly unlikely, that anything would develop from that date, but both sides enjoyed the pleasant times… Read more »
Horst, I don’t think its a matter of anyone “expecting” a relationship to automatically come out of a dinner date. It is a matter of deception and using someone. Its one thing if a woman informs the man first, that this dinner date will not have any chance of developing into something more. Then he can make an informed choice. Otherwise, the man is only being deceived about the ‘possibilities” and used for a free meal… which is not too cool. If 2 adults want to have dinner together, just to eat food and have someone to talk to while… Read more »
Hello George,
No, I’m not lonely or desperate, however, I enjoy a nice meal with the company of a nice lady and the ensuing pleasant conversation.
I guess that I enjoy myself in the traditional role: I’m a man, therefore I pay for the evening, food, drinks, theater or movie tickets etc. It comes naturally for me!
When I was younger, a woman went out on a date with me to a restaurant purely as she had a thing for one of the waiters. She seems crushed when I said that I knew the waiter and that he was gay. It’s been twenty years since then and she’s still single.
I think dinner is a great first step in a date. Women that are not intrested in the man and only do it for free meal, for me this is just using the goodwill of man. Behavior like this makes me just want to split the bill on first date….