5-approaches-to-finding-the-oneFinding The One is never an easy task. However, some approaches to meeting women have better chances to produce results than others. Check the list and see what approach you are taking to finding The One.

  1. Dreamer

This is a man who keeps looking at women’s profiles for months but never buys a membership. He is a member of many dating sites but never makes this final step. He may have a few favourites whose profiles he keeps checking, and then gets upset if one of them disappears from the dating site.

He is saying to himself that he is not 100% ready at the moment, but one day he will sign up and meet the woman of his dreams, The One. When he is prepared. Which means never.

  1. Sugar daddy

He is older and looking for a much younger woman, 20-30 years younger. He is convinced that he can find a young girl who will truly love him and never want to leave him, and then all the women and men around him will see what a prize he managed to get, and envy him. He is contacting only the most beautiful and gorgeous young ladies. He sends plenty of EOI’s, and sometimes they even respond positively. However, many of his prospects stop communication after a short while (usually because they have better options), so his search isn’t progressing very fast.

Men seeking much younger women in Ukraine and Russia mistakenly believe that girls just want to immigrate, and that’s why they hope to be accepted. In reality, women are, first of all, seeking suitable partners, and if they could, they would very much prefer them to be Russian or Ukrainian. It is only because they struggle to find acceptable candidates at home, that women decide to broaden their search and look elsewhere. So, ladies are not looking for a “foreign husband” but a “good husband” first of all, that’s why they don’t jump immediately to pair with any foreign man interested in them.

Guys using the “sugar daddy” approach may actually succeed and find The One, usually a woman who is about 13-15 years younger, who may be attracted by his persistence and desire to have a family, and because he is prepared to meet quite soon to make this relationship happen. Often Russian and Ukrainian women want to find a more mature man up to 10 years older, so they may stretch their upper age limit a bit, while he drops his, so they meet in the middle. But only when he eventually realizes he is unlikely to succeed with girls who are 20+ years younger.

  1. Writer

This man likes to communicate with women, write lots of letters and chat online, although he is convinced he needs to talk to a girl for at least a year or two before he can trust her, and consider making arrangements to meet her. He probably talks to only one lady at a time, and if she decides to drop him (because he doesn’t do anything except talking online), he has to start all over.

He is unlikely to succeed and find The One, because most women won’t wait for a year (or even 6 months) longing for a man who hasn’t even started making arrangements to meet her in real life.

  1. Tourist

This man believes he needs to set up plenty of dates before he goes to Russia or Ukraine. His rationale is that it would be silly to travel so far without having options, so he tries to line up enough dates in one city before he goes to meet women. Some tourists actually buy expensive organized tours and diligently correspond with women from these cities before they go there.

What tourists don’t realize is that women abhor this approach. It doesn’t make her feel special when a man has 3-4 correspondents, and she feels she owes him nothing, and all their previous communication doesn’t mean anything for her. Women don’t like fighting for a guy (unless they are shown on TV in Bachelor), so she may even specifically “punish” him for making her feel insignificant. She would be more welcoming if they had no prior communication, and he simply contacted her out of blue asking for a date, for example, because a relationship that he hoped for didn’t work out.

It may be hard for guys to comprehend, but women really would prefer to rather meet a guy for a blind date, than for him to make her one of his 3-4 dates in the city after prior communication. If girls get even a sniff you are not travelling to meet only her, their reaction can be very strong. Men who visit multiple women are considered “sex tourists”, and fall out of favour very quickly. You may think it is unreasonable, but that’s the way it is.

  1. Efficient

This man understands that the more women he contacts, the higher are his chances to establish a good relationship. He is realistic in his approach and considers age difference wisely, this is why most women respond to him positively and happy to chat to him. He talks to several women and tries to establish more than one successful communication.

When he has several women he really likes, which happens rather quickly, within a few weeks, he starts planning his visit or another way of meeting (for example, in a third country for a vacation together). He is not terribly concerned about making one visit or meeting work, he is more concerned with finding the right person. He understands he may need to meet only one lady at a time to find The One.

He realizes his first meeting may not work. If he goes to Ukraine or Russia for a visit, he has the ability to get more dates at any time (for example, with Platinum membership it’s possible to instantly download women’s direct email addresses and phone numbers), so if his relationship doesn’t work, he is prepared, but at the same time he wants to give it his best shot and dedication. For him the actual process of dating is enjoyable and fun, so he is not desperate to make this visit, or his relationship with this particular woman work, and this is why, probably, such men are usually more successful.


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Your blogs are invaluable Elena. Glad to see this new initiative.


Nice to read your blog Elena, i can recognize myself very well in your description. I guess i am efficient 🙂 Already made one trip to Armenia to meet a woman, but sadly it didn’t work out, but i am determined to find the one!


Hi Elena, I am new to the site, but am looking forward to see what happens in the near future. Thank you for the information, its great to be able to read your years of experience prior to getting involved in the site.

Karina ID: E5721950

Elena, you have done so bright explanation for every type of men who search women in Slavic counties. And what is important you very good said about women’s viewpoints and their motivations of searching men in other countries. I have read the article with pleasure and I think not only me.

I think there may be a sub category to the dreamer. There are those of us who have been widowed early in life and dream of finding the perfect woman, just like the one we were happily married to. I have spent countless hours looking at women’s profiles trying to figure out who will re-create that magic that was lost by accident. It is a different mind set from other online daters. I even wonder if contacting the ladies here who have also lost their spouses would make for a better connection due to similar life circumstances. It has taken… Read more »

I have been off the site for a while and really enjoy the new format. I can definetly see myself in a couple of the descriptions but mostly efficient. they are very well written. Thanks for a great website

adam bishop

I have read through the blog and must agree that the explanation of characters is spot on, thanks for the detailed view on myself although I won’t say which I am 🙂


Hello Elena,

Thanks for the blog and the insight. I like the website and hope to meet a genuine woman who is the right fit for me. Thanks again…..

Hi, Elena! I have really enjoyed your site. Reading this blog entry is helpful, too, as it helps me see sort of where I fall in this “effort” – thankfully, it seems to be the last category. I just returned from Russia where I met one of these extraordinary ladies I met through your site. We have become friends and hopefully this will continue to progress. Additionally, I have made friends with many others, and a forthcoming trip to Russia and Ukraine may allow the chance of meeting more, but that would happen only if it seemed that the first… Read more »

Good article Elena. I probably fall somewhere between the dreamer and the writer. But hopefully one day I will reach my goal of being an efficient man.

Hi, Elena: I had dated a nice Russian woman that I met on your website in 2004. We didn’t get married, but I enjoyed visiting her. Later, I married a nice Chinese woman in 2008. After a long courageous battle with lung cancer, she passed away. I read Michael’s reply and I would like to offer some advice. When you lose your soul mate, you lose a part of your heart. But, you must also remember what you gained from her. There is no exact replacement for your loss. Before she died, my wife told me to not be alone.… Read more »

It’s the first time I am reading your blogs. Thanks for great articles! Looking forward to reading more

I met Elena on EM in the summer of 2008. We communicated exclusively for about 6 months using Skype and phone texting. The most unique “feature” of our relationship was we shared the same birthday, but 20 years apart! I planned our meeting in her hometown of Almaty, Kazakhstan to include December 11, our birthday. On that special day, (birthdays are hugely important for Slavic ladies, much more so than in USA!) I proposed marriage to my Elena on bended knee and in Russian language as I presented her with a beautiful diamond engagement ring. Of course, she said yes… Read more »
isaiah destiny

Hi, Elena thanks for this long anticipated website, it’s really interesting to come across, I wish you more wisdom to forge ahead because the site is actually educating, I can’t wait to meet your demand and expectations for my profile to be accepted in anticipation to meeting my dream sweet darling.


Hi Elana,

great article and I can see I am a “dreamer” , mainly because I have been burnt emotionally twice now so I’m very scared to once again take another dip in the ocean so to speak. However you articles and blogs give me hope I can progress from a dreamer to Mr efficient.




Great tips. Thanks!