Most people tend to date the same person over and over, psychologists discovered. In other words, your new partner is likely to be a carbon copy of your ex. Are we hardwired to stick to a type?

Would you like to date your ex again? But you may do just that

If you split up with a partner and think that now it is the time to shift priorities and look for a different “type”, you are not alone in such considerations. But how many people manage to turn this idea into reality?

Psychologists from the University of Toronto tried to find the answer to this vexed question. Their study confirmed that when it comes to pairing, many people keep on choosing the spitting image of a former partner.

Not only that, the partners people choose are close to them in many characteristics. But a new partner is likely to be closer in psychological qualities to your former partner than to yourself.

Indeed, all of us have a “type” we seem to stick to, and not only in the physical appearance we feel drawn to. In fact, it’s possible that your new girlfriend looks somewhat different. But according to psychologists, she is likely to rate very similar on the combination of her personal traits.

Dating habits are hard to beat

According to Yoobin Park, a psychologist who was engaged in the research published by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, “When people are dissatisfied with some character traits of former partner, they often come to conclusion to start dating a different personality type. Our research shows that people are inclined to shape new relationships with a personality of the same type”.

A comprehensive long-term study was set to understand the development of relationships of 332 volunteers and their former and current partners.

The data sample was obtained in Germany from people of different age groups and personality traits. This information allowed Park and the principal researcher Jeff MacDonald to analyze behavioral patterns of pairing in romantic relationships. The team discovered that people show surprising consistency in their choices across time.

Scientists evaluated responses of participants to various questions that probed their character features, temper, mindfulness, sensitivity and the like. Over the course of nine year investigation some participators broken up one relationship and started a new one, and their current girl- and boyfriends also took part in the survey.

The research team found that people are more attracted to individuals whose psychological patterns resemble their own. But in addition to similarity to the participant, the researchers also found a great resemblance between new and ex-partners. This observation cast doubts on the common belief that opposites attract.

Did you think of this possibility when deciding to look for a bride in Ukraine? Yes, there are cultural differences and variance of upbringing, but she could have a very similar personality type to the one you seem to be drawn to.

The research team found that people are more attracted to individuals whose psychological patterns resemble their own.

Why would you choose a similar person to the one you’ve just broken up with?

Professor Jeoff MacDonald from the University of Toronto comments, “These observations can partially explain the reasons of frequent fiasco of those who keep on dating the same type of partner. But it is also possible that what the person is doing greatly contributes to the variance.”

While analyzing representative relationship models, psychologists discovered that they are formed of complex motives and factors. Passive factors like appearing at the same social events or working in the same area may be of avail, but they do not fully explain triggers of each specific relationship. This involves a combination of different conscious and subconscious motivations, and only a small part of new bonds is subject to direct correlation.

“It does not always mean that extraverted persons are inclined to meet other extraverts, and the other way round. This works only in 8% of circumstances”, explains Dr. Paul Eastwick from the Davis University of California, who was asked to give his professional opinion on this vast topic.

Robin Dunbar, who works for the Oxford University as a professor of Evolutionary Psychology, points out, “As for friends, there is a common pattern familiar to many, when two good buddies are very much alike in many ways. This phenomenon is known as homophily, which can be used regarding to romantic couples.

Professor Geoff MacDonald, University of Toronto pointed out that the consistency of choices in a partner has its advantages as well as disadvantages. One positive point is that you have already acquired the psychological tools how to deal with the type of person you tend to choose for a partner.

Is it a curse or a blessing?

Whether a tendency to be consistent in your choices is a curse or a blessing, it will be known later.

At any event, this pattern is definitely much more than a curious habit or a pure obsession and deserves further investigation. But, as Mr. Dunbar reveals, “If you notice that you are facing old problems in a new relationship, this is probably a sign that a part of these problems is caused by the choice you had made selecting the same type of partner. At any event, for a lengthy relationship, whether it is a romantic one or a friendship, you two clearly should be interested in similar things and share your views on life – otherwise you might have more chances to fall apart”.

Most relationships are started with intention to continue, and people should learn their lessons from past experiences.

”In each relationship a person should master his or her skills of interaction with distinctive personality. If you find yourself in a case of deja vu with your current partner, you should find new ways of communication that would bring you to positive results”, researchers conclude.

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