There is a notion that Russian women are highly family oriented. Is it true or just another myth?

Russian women believe that their highest goal in life is to become a Mother and a Wife

To say that Russian women are family oriented may be not exactly describing the situation as it is.

In Russia, from the early age girls are brought up with the idea that their most important goal in life is to get married and raise kids. That’s the only way for a female to become happy in life, the local social standards dictate.

This can only happen if she is married to a good man, the same social paradigm dictates. So, the first and foremost goal for any good Russian girl is to get married to a man who will be a perfect husband and a great father to their kids.

33% of all Russian brides are 18-24 when they get married. This includes all marriages in the country, so Russian women tend to marry rather young.

Once a girl has found a good man and got married, then it’s time to start a family without delay.

That’s the ideal that a girl should be aspiring for.

Happy family is something girls in Russia trained to dream about since the early age.

Russia’s demographic problems

Russia has a demographic problem with the number of deaths exceeding the number of births. Not even the influx of migrants from other countries is able to alleviate this problem.

Russia has both high migration rates to and out of the country. The influx of migrants is from former Soviet Republics such as Moldova, Ukraine, Uzbekistan. The outgoing migrants born in Russia move to Europe and America.

Another serious demographic issue is the misbalance between males and females. Although at birth there are 106 boys for 100 girls, by the age of 25 there are more females in cities and the numbers keep getting more skewed as the time goes.

Population-wide, there are 86 males to 100 females in Russia.

Because females tend to marry males who are slightly older, it makes it hard for single girls to find a partner, once they turn 25-27. In fact, 30-year-old single girls who live in large cities of Russia complain that there are 10 unattached females to 1 eligible bachelor, because most people have coupled up by this age.

“Every girl dreams to get married,” Russians genuinely believe.

27-year-old single women are viewed as “old” in Russia

We often get bitter complains from Russian girls who say they are being openly told they are old at 27 years of age. It’s not some old information; it’s happening now in 2018.

This is why girls feel this urge to get married young, because their “expiry date” is looking rather quick.

“Every girl dreams to get married,” this rule of thumb is not even questioned in Russia, but taken as an absolute truth. Not only females but also males are convinced it’s the only way and it should be like this.

In western countries this was the order of the day some time ago as well. Watching movies depicting 1960s, there is a lot of talk about husbands, without whom a woman wasn’t viewed as a proper female.

Now things are different in the developed world, but Russia experiences neo-traditionalism after years of forced equality under Communists, when females weren’t allowed to be ladies, but only a “tovarisch” (comrade).

After the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, the society of Russia slowly moved towards “traditional family values” that dictate rigid gender roles.

Young Russian women from large cities like Moscow or St. Petersburg, who travel abroad and speak languages, don’t conform to the standards of “traditional family values” and feel constricted by such rules. But girls who grew up in regional towns can truly believe they absolutely needs to be attached to a male to mean anything in this life.

In fact, men in Russia believe that a girl should be married not later than 21. That’s just 3 years she has to find a partner, get engaged and say “I do”, after she is legally allowed to marry!

Wedding bells should ring before the woman turns 22, males in Russia believe.

Family oriented ladies

However, even women with more modern views towards life feel the need to find a permanent partner, especially once they passed the “scary” mark of 27 years of age.

Marking 30 and being single for a girl from Russia is like officially admitting that there is something wrong with her. How come no one wanted her?

As you can see, this opinion of Russian women as “family oriented” has a darker lining.

Besides, remember that the phrase “to create a family” in Russian actually means “getting officially married”. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the couple plans to have kids a.s.a.p. Even women who are 40-50 years old use the poetic expression, “create a family“, when trying to say they want to meet a man for marriage.

Russian girls only want to date men who have serious intentions to “create a family”.

Cohabiting is looked down at

The societal view on women who live with a man without a marriage certificate is that they are “being used”. That’s how a woman should feel if a man she shared a home with doesn’t propose marriage. She feels that she is “wasting her time”, and as you already know, after 27 she is “too old”.

Marriage certificate has an enormous value in the eyes of Russian women, because that’s what they were trained to believe in. The urgency, the scarcity of men, the ticking clock of ageism, all these factors are in play here.

This is why women wish to know immediately whether the man has “serious intentions” about her, even before they start dating. Which may seem a bit strange: How can anyone know what intentions he has, if he doesn’t even know the woman well?

But unless the man states his desire to have a family and the presence of serious intentions towards her, a woman isn’t supposed to even date him, for the fear of being viewed as “easy” — a label that’s hard to get rid of.

That’s how the whole configuration of “family oriented” Russian women develops. The girls are simply seeking a man to get attached to because otherwise the society tells them they are worthless. And you cannot live in a society and be free from its’ rules.

Read also:

• What is a Russian Bride?
• 8 myths about foreign brides — and why they are wrong
• Stereotypes About Russia: Dispelling Classic Myths
• How Slavic Women View Men’s Profiles on Dating Sites