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  • 12 Russian jokes about relationships

12 Russian jokes about relationships

November 28, 2014
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Comments 16Elena
November 28, 2014

russian-jokesJokes are a big part of Russian and Slavic culture. There are dozens of websites with voting capabilities publishing 10-15 new jokes daily, with a weekly selection of the best jokes, as selected by readers, published on Sundays.

The Russian word “joke” sounds as “anecdote”. Jokes are told, retold, and edited. New anecdotes pop up the next day after a big event that has happened anywhere in the world, regardless of whether it’s an appropriate subject to make fun of, or not. Jokes for Russians and Ukrainians are a way of dealing with everyday stresses and problems.

I tried to find some Russian jokes about men, women, and relationships, and here is my little collection. Enjoy! 🙂

12 Russian jokes about men, women, and relationships

  1. To understand a woman, you need to be a woman. Besides, you need to be precisely the very woman that you need to understand. But even this won’t guarantee desired results.
  2. Note to men: according to scientists, women do not prefer men who can read their minds, but the ones who can read their wishes…
  3. Men separate women in two types:
  • Totally dumb
  • Smart, bitch…
  1. A man offers a woman to get married when he gets tired of courting her and wants her to start courting him.
  2. No matter what kind of disgusting things you perform, there will be a person who will like you. That’s what love is.
  3. Women’s logic: first they are waiting for a prince, and then they complain that he is resting on the sofa doing nothing, and not working like a peasant.
  4. — Yesterday I told my fiancee about all my sins… — And? — Didn’t help. The wedding is still on, she just moved it to this weekend.
  5. 2 rules that will make any relationship happy: 1) talk for yourself, and not for other people; 2) think about others, and not for others.
  6. If a woman is talking, there are only 4 phrases that can be used to interrupt her: “I love you”, “I will buy it”, “Yes, I am an idiot”, and “Fire!!!”
  7. When I was 5, my mother told me that the most important thing in life was to be happy. When I went to school, they asked me who I wanted to be in life when I grow up. I wrote, “happy”. They said, “you didn’t understand the task”. I said, “you didn’t understand the life”.
  8. My wife asked me today about Christmas presents… It took me 3 hours to convince her that people of good taste wear costume jewellery. All others have to wear gold and diamonds.
  9. According to statistics, a man on average has 87 intercourses per year. If this is true, the upcoming December should be very busy for me.

Hope this put a smile on your face! 😉

 

Read also:

  • 10 simplest Russian phrases to learn
  • How to meet Russian girls in real life
  • 7 core beliefs of Russian and Ukrainian women in love and dating
  • 12 tricks to get women’s responses

>> All articles (in English)

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CommentsКомментарии ( 16 )

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anna
anna
10 years ago

super very funny

Reply
Elena P
Elena P
10 years ago

hilarious)

Reply
Rob
Rob
10 years ago

I might try to use some of these or might come up with some of my own, I love a good joke and I am told I am a funny person so who know. thanks for the content though.

Reply
Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Men seem to be the same in most every culture, however women seem to differ in some areas.

Reply
Arsenio
Arsenio
10 years ago

Laughing together is probably the one most important element of a successful relationship. If two people cannot laugh with and at each other, then they probably should not be together. Laughter is the oil which lubricates a relationship. These jokes are an invitation to add the spice of laughter to your relationship with your better half!

Reply
Peter
Peter
10 years ago

A great little collection!
#11… Lolol 🙂

Reply
Mark
Mark
10 years ago

I have been pleasantly surprised how important a sense of humor is to Russian women. They are generally quick on picking up on subtle humor without the need for a smiley face added on. I may be short and older, but hey, I am still in the game.

Reply
Jay
Jay
10 years ago

After visiting there I now realize that is hilarious because it is mostly true! haha

Reply
horace
horace
10 years ago

Some of the Russian jokes are quite funny. I enjoyed reading them. Sense of humour is important for me in a woman. I hope to find someone who loves to laugh and has an easy going sense of humour. If you cannot laugh together, you won’t have as much fun together. I am already talking to a couple of ladies on Elenasmodels.

Reply
George
George
10 years ago

Quite funny 🙂

Reply
Nikita
Nikita
10 years ago

Rather funny, yeah:) I love when women can laugh at themselves! Sense of humour is a very important thing in our life, so there’s no need to be a dull and a boring person. It is much better to understand the jokes and to try to improve yourself not to be the target of them! So sad that not every girl can do it.

Reply
Irina
Irina
10 years ago

Yes, Russian people like to joke very much. We have fun in any situation, play jokes with friends. We are famous for our humor all over the world. But not everybody has a good sense of humour.

Reply
Alexandra
Alexandra
10 years ago

I would say that a good sense of humour is a must have thing. And it is very important to be able to laugh not only at other’s jokes but also at yourself and at your faults. It can help relieve the stress and see the situation from other point. From my own experience I know that if a man and a woman can laught at each other, it is a pledge of their happiness and successful future. There can be a problem if people were brought up in different cultures and they consider different things being funny. Anyway I… Read more »

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Svit_lana2
Svit_lana2
10 years ago

Laughing out loud!!! Women’s logic must be the most mysterious, ridiculous, interesting and intriguing thing for men all over the world. Relationship is a hard work with it’s ups and downs but there always must be some time for jokes for sure)

Reply
Valary
Valary
10 years ago

Liked the tenth point 🙂 For me it is an absolute truth. But people often forget about such easy things…Why is it important that you have a prestigious job, lots of money, good social status, but you are not happy? If don’t have a loving family and warmth in your heart? I think, adults shold learn something from children 🙂

Reply
Александр
Александр
9 years ago

Jokes are born from life. The most absurd situations happen to people, and people passed through anecdote. Such anecdotes very much! And thanks for this meeting. Fun and vital!

Reply

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