Let’s talk today about Destiny, shall we?
A recent conversation with a member on the blog about Costa Rica offering visa-free entry to Ukrainians called for an update to an earlier post about how many ladies a man should see on his visit. Since I started my first blog in 1999, I have been advocating for men to talk to multiple female members initially but visit only 1 lady. Such approach will give you the best chance to succeed. This is why.
Why you should meet only 1 woman at a time
For Russian and Ukrainian ladies meeting a foreign man for a relationship is about Love. Yes, Love with the capital “L”. They are crazy about love. I think many western men do not understand it.
Guys tend to think that Russian and Ukrainian women are seeking a “foreign husband” or an “American husband”, and thus “should” do lots of things: Learn English, be ready to drop their work and chores if a foreigner decides to visit, be more understanding of his culture, don’t fuss about the way he dresses, and so on.
The fact is: Russian and Ukrainian women do NOT seek a “foreign husband”. They seek Love.
They are awaiting for this giant emotional high, and a man who will arrive and sweep her off her feet. Her Destiny.
As a founder of a Russian dating site, which also features profiles of ladies from Ukraine, Belarus, Kazakhstan and other former Soviet Union (FSU) countries, I affirm it would be straightforward if women simply wanted to immigrate. That would make it so much easier. But they don’t seek immigration—they dream of this ethereal “Love”. It means they want to be treated as dainty ladies and are awaiting their knights in shiny armour.
And whom do they meet? Guys who think it is OK to arrive and “pick from several girls”, wife-shoppers. How do you think this is going to come across? As if her prayers have been answered—or as the greatest offence since the invention of Internet?
Answer this quandary for yourself, please, before moving any further.
Why trying to pick from several girls doesn’t work
The casual dating trend, also called sometimes “hook up” culture, has yet made it to Russia and Ukraine. The biggest question for Ukrainian women during the initial stage of the relationship, which they still call “courtship” (aka “the period of candies and flowers”), “Is he serious about me?”
If you are not serious about her, she feels like she’s with a wrong guy. She needs to find someone who is serious about her.
If you arrive to see 3-4 girls, she feels insignificant and she is convinced that you are not her Destiny. The man who is “meant for her” would dedicate himself to her only. Thus, she will instantly become cold and unwelcoming, and it’s nearly impossible to change this attitude.
She would be actually more open to a guy she met today than to a guy she has chatted with for months, but who arrived to meet 3 different girls.
Led by emotions
Women in general, and Ukrainian and Russian ladies in particular are mostly guided by emotions. If it doesn’t “feel right” (and your meeting several girls to pick from definitely doesn’t feel like her ideal relationship should), then she is not going to go ahead with it.
If it “feels right”, on the other hand, she would do anything: Move to another country, learn foreign language, leave her family behind. But it has to “feel right”!
I explain this notion and how to make sure the lady’s emotions are taken into account (to fit her “ideal relationship” model and make her feel like it’s the hand of Destiny that brought you together) in my VIP coaching for men dating Russian and Ukrainian women. You can download it instantly and use immediately in your current relationship to ensure it works the way you want to.
Or you can continue on your own and then maybe come back if things are not going the right way. Hopefully, it’s not too late to correct any errors by then.
You can meet an amazing girl and live happily ever after. But there is the right way and wrong ways to go about it. Your success depends on which way you pick.
Wishing you success in your search and relationships!
Sincerely,
Elena Petrova
Founder
Elena’s Models
Read also:
- Dreams & reality check: What Russian, Ukrainian women expect from 2017?
- Destiny in Russian Culture
- 4 types of men who are successful in meeting Ukrainian women
- 5 reasons why Americans (Australians, Europeans, etc) want to marry Russian, Ukrainian women
Ok, I feel this can go both ways. I remember my first visit it Ukraine September 2012. I met 4 girls. I had some light conversations with them because they did not know English well. All conversations were by e-mail. I arrived in Kiev to stay 2 weeks. I met my first girl and we had an interpreter. It wasn’t awkward. It was just she did not seem interested in conversation. After dinner she seemed in a “rush” to get home. She said she didn’t want to miss the bus. It was still daylight. I tried a long time to… Read more »
Blake, 2 questions:
1) Where did you meet these women? On a PPL (pay per letter) site?
2) Did you read my book (VIP coaching program)? Did you try this approach?
1) I met them on your site Elena’s Models
2) $299 is a lot of money. What can I gain from it that I did not gain for your old book “How to Marry a Girl Like Me” ?
I am eager for your thoughts and advice )))
Blake,
I can’t say what you are doing wrong. If you still take advice from my old book circa 2003, probably everything. That was pre-Skype, pre-Facebook, pre-PPL, pre-smart phones. Pre-everything the world is about today. You are still going to meetings with interpreters! 🙂 Even in 2003 I said it was a bad idea.
So, how any advice can help if you do not follow it?
Just keep doing what you are doing, try different things, keep what works, discard what doesn’t. Learn on mistakes. Good luck!
Perhaps I can give it some thought after more research on the product.
Could I have a badly written profile?
Let us to what we can to fix my issue 😉
thanks )
Blake, it sure sounds alluring but no thanks.
I spent 2 months and put together the VIP program, so I wouldn’t have to explain it ever again 🙂
So, firstly, I think it is a stereotype. Of course, you are would be a lucky person if you meet a foreign man and fell in love with him, and you will be so happy abroad. But, do you take into account that Russian people have the mentality that is different than foreign people have? It is the first problem, as for me. And, for more, russian and ukrainian girls have to know English language well to understand their foreign man, and explain what you want from each other.
Women aren’t the only ones who want to find their destiny and feel special. I corresponded with a woman from Kharkov. We were friends and she asked my advice about western men. She met with another man, went through the visa process and came to the US. He turned out to be verbally abusive, so she returned home. She lamented that if I had visited her first, she would be with me. I know she meant it as a compliment, but I could not help feeling offended that she regarded love as a race to be won. I do not… Read more »
That’s how every woman thinks. It’s called Hypergamy, look it up. You have to realize that you are always in constant competition with other men. You need to make her realize, she’s in constant competition with other women. She will stay with you ONLY if she senses that you are her best option. Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Improve yourself as a man. Understand how to be a leader, don’t get emotional with women, they don’t like that. ALSO only pursue women who show a high interest in you. A good way to test this is… Read more »
This is interesting advice and I am sure that it is an accurate reflection of how most women feel. Everyone wants to not only feel like, but to be the only one for their partner. I received exactly the opposite advice once from a Ukrainian woman that I met on EM. We were chatting on our last skype after we had agreed that we were not a match. She said that previously she used to arrange visits for western men to come to Ukraine to meet women. She said that she had seen it many times. After some online letter… Read more »
Johnson, I am on your side!! 🙂 I am not trying to tell you that you are wrong. I am just giving you another perspective, showing you how it looks from the woman’s point of view. If you PRE-AREANGE to meet 3-4 women, then when meeting the first lady you know you have 3 more to “check”. You are not playing “all in”, you have wagers. It’s a totally different emotional realm for you. Men are naturally less emotional already by their biological makeup. So, she is up there with her expectations, and you are down here. How is it… Read more »
I am planning on meeting my lady at the end of March for our first face to face meeting in Russia. I am absolutely convinced that she is my wife to be. I am planning on bringing the K1 fiancé paperwork to fill out while I am there with her so I can get all the information I need. I plan to file it with Immigration as soon as I return to the US. Do you think she would object to my being so forward or do you think she’d be delighted in my being dead serious about marrying her… Read more »
Patrick,
Did you get my VIP Coaching manual for men dating Russian and Ukrainian women?
I cannot predict what a person would or wouldn’t do, but I know what Russian and Ukrainian ladies need to feel confident they are making the right choice to say “Yes!” to a man’s proposal.
You will know it, too, once you get this information.
Ok so I went to meet a girl from the pay per mail site. she seemed interested in me and everything was going great then on the third date she said she wasn’t feeling well and went home. The next day I get an email saying that she was not ready for marriage, and that I was serious about being married and she wanted me to be happy. She suggested we stay friends. So I went against my better judgement and stayed friends with her. I have been friends with her for a year. And I will tell you some… Read more »
Nathan,
Are you still paying per letter all this time?
no.. after our meeting we exchanged contact information. So we chat every day through viber
Ah, good… Then you are friends indeed. The typical mistake of men and women: They don’t listen or try to find hidden meanings. If a girl says, “I just want to be friends” what she means is that she doesn’t see you as more than a friend, she doesn’t want to sleep with you ever. The same with guys: If he says, “I don’t want to get married”, then he will not marry her.
After reading this post, I can say I feel somehow related to it. For me as a man I feel lucky to have the opportunity to meet girls in my country and also in the internet, however, what I’ve learned is this, you can never really get to know a woman if you don’t give your time, dedication and genuine interest to just one woman, trying to communicate with several girls at the time is useless because your attention is divided and sooner or later you’ll end up confused and maybe ruining the opportunity to relate with someone valuable because… Read more »
Unfortunately, some western men think this way about our women, they think we will leave everything and will go to the edge of the earth with them whatever everything. It is wrong opinion. A lot of women are tired of irresponsibility and too much excessive demands of our men, the lack of attention. Sometimes I think that western men are much more caring and attentive than ours. But it is not so simple, there are good and bad people everywhere just need to be careful in our choice.