It’s usually assumed that breaking up with a partner must be ultimate and everlasting because further meetings can cause even more suffering. However, sleeping with an ex-partner seems to be innocuous and even helpful in that regard, according to a recent research. This is also applicable to those who want to bring back their lover.
One more way to get better after a breakup
Though it doesn’t sound like a good idea at first, having sex with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend can’t hurt you.
This is the conclusion of Stephanie Spielmann and a group of researchers from Michigan. They explored behaviors, desires, and actions of people of all ages who had recently got through a breakup.
The science of breakup
The author of the study came up with 2 experiments.
At first, she collected information about a mental and physical condition of 113 people who agreed to take part in the study after breaking up with a partner.
Then Spielmann asked the participants to answer some questions online.
She intended to find out if they wanted to contact their ex-lover in any way, what they were feeling and how their mental state changed day by day.
The second experiment involved nearly 400 people that were open about their intentions to have sex with an ex.
The study showed that the desire to sleep with ex-partners isn’t something to be afraid or ashamed of.
People don’t all react the same way to a breakup, so everybody has their own ways of curing the broken heart.
The majority of participants who had sex with their previous partner reported they didn’t feel worse after that.
According to the author of the research, it’s totally normal to seek affection and connection after breaking up. That’s why jumping into bed with an ex helps us gradually feel better.
Why sex with an ex shouldn’t be condemned
Ungrounded reproaches of sleeping with ex-partners are often heard here and there. The society tries to shame every person that has a sexual relationship with an ex – and this is fundamentally wrong. This research may change common beliefs and give people more freedom of dealing with their love life.
The author notices how important it is to explore what causes a breakup and how to successfully overcome the unhappy feelings that it causes. Keep in mind that every one of us has his or her own methods of recovery from splitting up with a lover – don’t be ashamed of it even if that implies having sex with someone you are no longer involved with.
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I agree. I had a similar practice. I often met with an ex-girlfriend after a quarrel. For sex only. It was convenient for me and for her, there was no need to start searching for a proven partner 🙂
It can be traumatizing for either one of the partners or for both. In a situation when the break up was a mutual decision, it’s acceptable if both are OK with it. but usually the partner that was not the initiator of the break up struggles to move on. in this case sex with ex creates a false hope that it’s still possible to save the relationship. In my opinion, in any case, the past has to be the past. Otherwise, it’s difficult to start a new chapter in your life.