Last week we asked you about the most important piece of advice you would like to give to Russian women seeking men on Elenasmodels.com. Many guys responded and offered their suggestions — a big ‘Thank You!’ to all contributors.
(You can still add to these ideas on the page with the post and we will be translating them for women next week.)
Now we want to ask you about the biggest turn off
What is the single thing that puts you off the most when communicating with women on and off the dating site?
It’s already not about the profile and the first letters (that’s what we asked you about last time), but more about the development of a relationship.
For example, you start talking with a pretty lady and then something pops up that really turns you off.
- Has it ever happened to you that you suddenly got turned off?
- Is there something a lovely woman you really like could do to make you feel that there is no future in this relationship?
- What would you prefer that women did instead? Give an example.
Thank you in advance for your help!
Ladies really appreciate your comments and advice. It’s not that they are doing it purposefully to ruin a relationship. If they knew this was so irritating to men, they wouldn’t be doing it, right? They really want a relationship, not just starting chats and losing the guy within weeks. It is extremely upsetting to them when a connection that looked promising suddenly ends, and in the majority of cases they have no idea why.
It’s one thing when we are telling them what they should and shouldn’t do, and a completely different thing when you tell them directly. Of course, you probably wouldn’t want to tell it to the lady you have been talking to, as not to upset her, but here you are able to tell the story anonymously, to help all the ladies who may be simply unaware it’s a turn off for guys.
Comment below!
P.S. See our new account on Instagram @elenasmodels,com — let us know what you think!
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Id say the rules are somewhat similar for men and women, if they are too into themselves, if they are being a bit too much into status and how their ex was this and that and how they are used to living, if they have too much make up, or bad teeth, or too rough, or photos was way too photoshopped… too opinionated… just best to start nice and slow and easy conversation. Also people in too much doubt or indecisive or pushy.
My biggest complaint with women on Elena’s Models is that they do not tell us enough about themselves, their lives, and what kind of person they are for me to be able to make a deep connection with them. When you are trying to get to know a man that you are hoping might one day be your husband, you have to be open with him, tell him about your past, your experiences, why you are who you are. Instead, so many answer with short half page letters that have no substance to them. I want to know why you… Read more »
100% agree. Usually I can write a paragraph with well thought out information about myself, and topics, and usually what I recieve back in return is a very generic sentence or two.
Same here. I think when this happens it’s because the lady is not really interested, but she doesn’t want to let you go either. You are simply a backup option.
Hello. The problem is in level of English women use. It is difficult to make good sentences in level A1,A2. If sentence is short – so she can be sure she is well. But she need to describe in many words – it is an disaster for her. If You let her to use translator and understand that there will be a thousand of mistakes – You can discover true person.
I agree with William. I live on the other side of the planet. A pretty picture is nice, but I’m not going to get on a plane and fly over to meet you, until I know you better. Initially, that’s through communicating over this website. Healthy relationship’s take time and effort. I’m a fun guy, but that doesn’t mean I’m not serious about this. If I’m interested in you, I want to know as much as possible (without you feeling interrogated). Besides, the more you offer about yourself, the easier to keep the written conversation going. If you give short… Read more »
Well said William ! I agree with you whole heatedly!
Try writing them in russian and see how long your letter will be. Ask them to write in Russian and you will most likely get a longer response.
My thoughts exactly
Hi guys. May be ladies don’t know English well? It is not easy to write a lot in a foreign language.
I wouldn’t say there is any one thing that is a big turn off. Once you have sent an EOI it means you find the lady attractive and once she replies and you correspond, she is interested too and you are off to a good start. In my experience the things that kill interest and see good initial connections wither are: i. you do not have Skype or some other means for face to face discussion to take place over such a long distance; ii. you feign lack of interest hoping the man will really chase you – we are… Read more »
Super short answers. I have a woman with 22 messages exchanged and the last message she sent was a three-word answer. Many of them were 4 to 6 words at most.
The biggest turn off I have dealt with slavic women is that once you get to know them is you find out they are not genuine in what they told you for example expressing feelings upfront saying they love you when in reality they have no clue whatsoever whether you are the man they want and often change their mind very quickly. The reason for this is because they are not genuine and superficial. If she gets very emotional saying she loves you too fast she also falls out of love very fast! Also slavic women have a tendency to… Read more »
I’ve had many conversations start from this site and move to another messenger source then the woman will just stop messaging back. We do not live in their country so we can not chase women like they are used to, if I message someone a few times and they don’t reply it shows your not interested so I move on to the next. I have to talk with someone and really get to know them before I’m going to invest my time and money on a trip overseas and the only way to do this is through text, and video… Read more »
Honest Communication! Most women are not honest about who they are and whom they are looking for. Clear communication of goals, dreams, and everyday events in their lives. I have been often told by a large number of women, that they normally do not like to disclose information about themselves. If a man is genuine and has an interest in being with you, and is making daily effort towards you! Yes, you should make effort and add value to the process of getting to know you! You do not have to be an open book all at once…but we have… Read more »
Anyone who has traveled extensively throughout the Baltic states, and particularly in Russia and Ukraine — already know the pervasive, widespread economic hardships in those countries. Those things, are hardly issues about which someone should feel embarrassed, or chagrined. However, if I’m communicating with someone, and I am genuinely interested — it helps of expectations are realistic. Asking for monetary help, gifts, or a fairytale financial situation is both unrealistic, and a huge turnoff! If someone has the wherewithal, to move forward with the relationship; they should have the means to provide an enthusiastically better situation than the one in… Read more »
If a woman returns an email that reads like she didn’t even read the one I just sent her its like getting drenched with cold water. The desire, heat and the dreamy hope needed to continue trying to meet someone you can love, be with, and take care of forever, drops like a rock. Even if she’s in the same city much less 6000 miles and $1,000’s away . Internet meeting, dating, and joining up is a fairly delicate questions and answer game whether we like it or not. To brief or dull a letter with no substance a man… Read more »
I have been writing constantly to a woman with a child. No problem I have mine also. We have skyped and I have a trip planned to fly with my 10,000 km plane ticket in my hand. After I did this I’m feeling like she will not meet me at the airport? Her child needs to be looked after. I totally agree BUT why is that an issue now? It was not a problem when I was making these arrangements? I needed a trip anyway. I’m waiting as we speak for an answer since her last email read “For sure… Read more »
Dennis, I understand from your comment that the lady you are planning to visit doesn’t live in Moscow. Did you expect her to fly to Moscow to meet you at the airport? Which city does she live in – how far from Moscow? You expected her to be interested in a concert of an artist she doesn’t know or like? Who did you buy tickets from – the woman herself, so that you complain about ‘travel agency’? Because Elenasmodels doesn’t sell tickets or tours. Did you meet this lady through a website that sells “romantic tours”? Keep your experiences factual.… Read more »
Well Dennis,im married to one of these “setups” we met on this site two years ago and have been married for 9 monts now,so Elenasmodels is not a setup in my experience. But to the issue of turnoffs, biggest turnoff for me,was in my searching days, this that when you are interested in a lady and expressed this interest in a letter in which you put much time and effort ,and get an answear with a couple of phrases. Another i remember is this first answear, I will be out of city for a while but will write when im… Read more »
Good comments all. Reoccurring theme is honesty. Be who you truly are. Not what you think a man wants to hear. Any man with even a small amount of life experience will see through dishonesty quickly. So, just be straight forward and if your are interested the man will reciprocate. Otherwise we just move on. Most men on the site who are over 40 have probably been married before and ended a relationship for some or all of the same reasons why they would be turned off by behavior they sense, see or hear early on in communication that indicates… Read more »
My experience is: during the time our communication is using the website, everything is good and lovely, as soo as We obtain her personal information, immediately woman changes theirs actitudes and they start sending very short messages and start to looking for any excuses to finish the relationship and the communication, anyway they share us their celular phone number they never responded, so, I believe that, not all women are equal, but until now I have been using different websites and in general all women do the same.
Jose, you have been using pay-per-letter (PPL) sites and you were paying to impostors. It is a SCAM! Read this post in detail
All websites where you are charged for communication per message are scams. You are paying for fake messages and people who send them are getting % from your payments. Never use such sites and tell all your friends to stay away.
We are discussing here experiences on Elenasmodels.com, not on other sites.
Ok, and thank you for your response, so,
I have another question, here in Elenas website, to read letters with ladies I need to pay also, so, how can I trust or believe in woman’s here?.
The ladies here are different they don’t receive money from the website?.
Do they really are honest in their looking?.
Thank and I appreciate do much your response
Thank you
Jose, how would it be even possible for EM to pay women, if you DO NOT PAY FOR COMMUNICATION? Paying impostors to write fake love messages to guys is only possible when you pay for communication: They get % of what you pay. You apparently didn’t read the article I referred you to: That’s just lazy. Instead, you are asking questions here. What do you want me to say? Every one of these pay-per-letter websites will tell you: “NO!!! We don’t pay women to communicate on the site”. And they will be telling the truth: They pay money to THE… Read more »
I arranged to meet a girl for the first time in person at the main Post office in Kiev. We walked passed each other and made eye contact. She didn’t smile or look happy. A few seconds later, we realized who each other was and her face lit up and we proceeded with our date. Her clothes had a strong bad smell of the fungus mildew. This isn’t uncommon in Ukraine because many people slowly air dry their clothes indoors. I didn’t pursue a second date with her. Two of the reasons why where her bad smell and unfriendly demeanor… Read more »
I would also add that Russian/Ukrainian women should not lie at all to their future husbands. Lying in a relationship in the West can be a deal breaker. Since Slavic women can be in the habit of lying often, they really need to guard against it.
Okay having read most comments posted here decided to add my two cents worth feel more like passing out some cheese and crackers to some of the men that have been whining. Over 2 years have developed my relationship with a wonderful Ukrainian woman and just waiting on her K1 visa but here are some of the things that we went through. 1) Western men are different than Slavic men in that we value direct open communication with no secrets even at the start of any relationship. 2) Say what you mean to say, as this helps to develop trust… Read more »
Worst possible thing I can think of, I won’t mention names, is if a woman is too opinionated, argumentative and/or critical. It is a total turn-off. No matter how attractive a woman is she will never get a date if she is like that. On the plus side it helps if a woman is inquisitive. It shows that she has genuine interest.
Many women on Elenas Models (and the rest of the world) do not understand that it is a 2 way street for love and not a one way street where they expect many men to compete spilling their hearts out to them with out selling themselves. Also what is the story with over applying make up, making their eye brows thick as an arab mans and collagen injection in their lips?
What turns me off is if you are fickle! That is what I am watching out for. and if you lie to me once, and I don’t care what about we are done! I am interested in Lady who is in it for the long haul, not someone who will be asking for a divorce 5 years down the road.
I will try to help. It is about photos. I can only say what I personally think is helpful. Different shots. Pick your best face shot, only one or two. Then your best body shot or two. No professional photos! Well maybe one or two if you have them. but don’t buy them. We know those are not what you look like, and assume you were many years younger and many kgs less. You are wasting your money. I hope this is helpful.
My point was to for a woman to just be herself. You are exactly who you are. Find a Man that wants that. It helps if there is no obvious false advertising, haha. Of course it OK to look your best, just don’t phototshop.
I would like to add to the photo comments. Girls need to know what Slavic men think is beautiful is not how an America thinks or wants. I have two daughters so I have some idea about this. I will write like I talked with my daughters. I find women beautiful with more natural makeup. Men judge woman’s character is by makeup, nails, and dress. I see women who are Doctors, lawyers, educated professional women but their poses, make up and clothing suggests they are not. Understand your sexiness. It is natural but I want a wife that I would… Read more »
Here goes on my 2 cents, I have a Scots last name. When I went to my MD in Miami who was from Cuba she asked if I was actually Russian, because I act like them. I grew up next door to 1000s of refugees from 1914 and then after. Russian and eastern women aren’t cold, they just aren’t wide open. The last 1000 years have been rough on them and they don’t wear there feelings on their sleeves. If you are too overtly friendly or smile and laugh a lot, in public that is considered low IQ or mental… Read more »
Well, I believe one of the biggest problems is the money-grubbing that so many women do. I may sound a bit negative but stick with me here. I am not inexperienced dating. I am good looking intelligent and own my own business. I have even dated Russian women in my city in the past. I have read Elena’s advice carefully but somewhere along the way something went horribly wrong. And I cannot figure it out. I have done everything I can, to be honest, decent open and firm with the women from FSU countries. But it does not seem to… Read more »
Fred, Your recent experience shows you were willing to stand your ground and demonstrate boundaries. However, I have had a similar experience but not quite as persistent as your lady. However, I’m sure that based on the work I did in Elenas VIP program and following the advice it’s working well for me currently. Yes had to push back at a few but I actually feel that in particular many of these women in UKRAINE are so brainwashed about the dating method that they forget the reality of what will happen to a potentially fantastic relationship with western men. I… Read more »
Phillip, I can’t thank you enough for your comments they were right on the money. Everything you said hit home with me. And after a bit of hindsight, I think I was a bit harsh and overreacted. I have already left so we cannot continue face to face at this moment. But I am in the process of patching things up with her. There is no animosity between us. I believe she is a bit bewildered that I reacted to her request and does not see it as such a bad thing. She even said if this is a problem… Read more »
Hi Fred, As an Aussie would say “no worries mate” Glad to hear its moving in the right direction. Mate, I’ve had issues like this but as we know finding a partner who you want to invest time and deep attention to is not easy, but I believe it is worth it to make my life even better than it is. Yep, the VIP was very helpful and while I am not a robot and just operate word for word from the VIP it just had a lot of sense in it. I agree the time zone and correspondence is… Read more »
Phillip, Thanks for the valuable insights. I think I may get Elen’s VIP program. It sounds like the right thing. Update for me. Things appear to be back on track there was never an argument or harsh words said or anything like that. She is very calm and level headed. I think she may just have some expectations that are different than me. And I went overboard with my reaction which I realize this now. She has always been honest and forthright with me so there should be no suspicions on my part. Totally agree with you on putting in… Read more »
Sorry for bad English in advance and for a little criticism too. If the answer is 3-4 phrases or words to your message is half a page long or She says that out of town, but actually writes the same messages in half a page to another man. It’s guesswork, and you’re talking to yourself, not her. As soon as they send me an interest, I immediately think when the man will run away. On net dispute: 1. Will not respond to my 1 letter I write in response to his interest; 2. After 1-2 letters will merge… 3. Will… Read more »
Zoya, на этом блоге есть статья «как грамотно писать по-английски»: если так строить предложения (даже на русском, чтобы потом перевести через переводчик), вас можно будет понять. Иначе вообще непонятно, что вы пытаетесь сказать. После всех этих лет «в поиске», наверное, этому уже пора научиться
https://blogs.elenasmodels.com/ru/kak-gramotno-pisat-po-anglijski/