When you are dating Russian women, you may feel a bit lost because they have special ways to express love and also expect different things than females in your culture. It is because Russians express love differently. A recent survey sheds light on how Russians show feelings to their partners.
Why Russian women and men express love differently
Love is definitely the feeling which gives meaning to our life even in its most difficult moments. There is a common belief that everyone is capable of love. However, it is essential to express your warm affection properly in order to make both your partner and yourself happy.
In fact, you wouldn’t question the fact that in the Muslim culture the ways to show feelings are quite dissimilar, since you probably know that people in these countries are expected to remain virgins until marriage. Not even touching or holding hands is considered appropriate for unmarried singles.
Then you wouldn’t be surprised to find out that in the Russian culture ways to show fondness are also different than in the USA or Australia.
Would you like to know what are the appropriate ways to show your loving feelings in Russia? There is a reliable way to find out: statistics.
Survey: Over half of Russians aged 18+ are in love
The All Russian Public Opinion Research Centre (WCOIM) conducted a survey to find out what they usually do to show their feelings to the partners. The inquiry was held on 12 February in the form of a phone interview. The participants included 1600 Russians aged 18 and over who were chosen from the complete list of the telephone numbers functioning on the territory of the Russian Federation.
According to the survey, over half of the respondents (59%) are currently in love.
Interestingly, the proportion is higher among men (66%) than women (54%), according to the study.
Moreover, the rate is higher in 25-34-year-old participants (72%) than that among the group aged 18-24 (62%). And we thought youth is the time for passion!
Only 43% of people aged over 60 are in love.
As it happens, 38% of the interviewees are not in love with anyone, which is about one in three.
How Russians express love: Differences between men and women
When people in Russia are in love, what do they do? How do they show their feelings to the special person in their lives?
The survey offered several options in which people could express their feelings and the respondents were able to pick only 2 or 3. This is what they answered.
- The majority of people care for the partner to express love: 15% of respondents picked this answer. Among the group 18-24 it’s even higher: 24%. Ladies show their love through care also more often (19%).
- The second and the third most popular way to show feelings is to give gifts (13%) and to give a lot of attention (also 13%). 30% of 18-24-year-olds believe that by giving a lot of attention they show their love, while presents as a way of displaying affection is popular among only 16% of young adults. Men are more often showing their love through presents (18%), while only 9% of women do it. Among Russian men, giving gifts is the second most popular way of expressive love.
- 22% of men said they give flowers to show their affection to the lady of their dreams. In total, it’s #4 popular way of expressing love (10% of all respondents), because 0% of women do it. It’s totally a man’s option in displaying feelings, in Russia. Among Russian men, giving flowers is the most popular unified way to express love for a woman.
- Saying affectionate words and giving affection is #5 on the list: 8% of respondents picked this option. About the same share of men (7%) and women (9%) do it.
- Kissing is only #6 as a way to express love in Russia: 5% of locals think that’s a way to show feelings. Among 18-24-year-olds it’s an unpopular option: only 1% of respondents of this age group picked this answer.
- Saying compliments is a choice of 4% of Russians. The same share (4%) chose hugging as an option, spending time together, or respecting the partner. So, compliments, hugging, spending time together, and showing respect all are at 4%, completing the top-10 as #7, #8, #9 and #10.
What else left?
- Helping: 3%
- Smiling, helping to lift the mood: 3%
- Taking the partner out (cafe, movies etc.): 2%
- Support and understanding: 2%
- Confessing their feelings: 2%
- Trusting: 1%
- Fulfilling all his/her wishes: 1%
- Flirting: 1%
- Being interested in his/her hobbies, accepting them: 1%
- Being friendly: 1%
It’s worth noting that whopping 44% of the respondents picked the option “Hard to answer” when asked about ways they express love to a partner. It’s hard for Russians to even say how they express feelings? Not surprising.
Now you understand why women struggle to figure out whether a guy likes her or not; they only can figure it out by getting flowers or gifts! It would be funny if it wasn’t true.
Russian women simply have no way of knowing if the man loves her, unless he gives gifts and presents! Remember it, guys. We are not making it up. It’s statistics.
See the complete data of the WCIOM survey below.
What signs of love men and women expect from the significant other?
What signs of attention Russian women and men expect to get back from the beloved?
In the survey, respondents were asked to name 2-3 signs of attention they would expect from a person they were in love with.
- Most people expect the beloved to “give a lot of attention“(22% in total): Among ladies this share is 28%, while only 15% of guys expect this.
- Kindness, caring is expected by 25% of women and 12% of men.
- Mutual feelings and love confessions are wanted by 5% of ladies and 11% of guys.
- Affection, affectionate and pleasant words are sought by 9% of women and 6% of men.
- Understanding is wanted by 9% of females and 5% of males.
- Gifts are wanted by 10% of women and 4% of men.
- Respect is sought by 9% of females and 5% of males.
- Assistance is wanted by 6% of females and 2% of males.
- Flowers are wanted by 8% of females and 0% of males (surprise, surprise!).
- Support is sought by 4% of females and 2% of males.
4% of males would like to spend more time together, while it’s been mentioned by only 2% of women.
Was sex even on the list of the ways to express love? It’s not in WCIOM’s table, but it could be because it didn’t score over 1%. Kisses scored 2% from both females and males, while hugs got 3% from women and 2% from men.
What Russian women want and get
Lovemaking is apparently not on the list of the ways to express fondness for a partner in Russia!
Russian men, obviously, are of the opinion that to express their feelings for a woman they need to give her flowers and gifts. At the same time, for women gifts are officially only #3 thing on the list, while giving a lot of attention and kindness, care are #1 and #2 accordingly. Respect and ‘affection, affectionate words’ both got 9% with #4 and #5 in the rating by women as signs of love they wish to see. Flowers made its appearance in the women’s rating at #6.
So, what are the conclusions?
- Stalking (‘giving a lot of attention’) is indeed the most reliable way a Russian lady can decipher your passion. That’s a part of the hunter-prey dating scheme we have been explaining for a long time: It requires a female to be very passive, while a man actively pursuing her in the style, “not taking no for an answer”. 28% of the female respondents mentioned it. Remember that flowers and gifts are also called ‘signs of attention’ in Russia. (Yes, it’s the official name for gifts and flowers, ‘signs of attention’.) So, ‘giving a lot of attention’, in fact, includes flowers and gifts by default.
- Kindness, caring is the sure-fire sign of a man’s passion for 25% of females. What does it mean for a woman? Depends on the lady, obviously, but it might be simply not arguing with her or it’s a mask for gifts and flowers, which Russian men obviously perceive as the most reliable way to demonstrate feelings to a woman.
- Gifts scored #3 with 10% and all other ways are under the 10% mark.
So, I guess, what is important is to find out what actions a lady you are dating sees as kind and caring, as well as simply contacting her a lot (‘giving a lot of attention’) and never forgetting flowers and gifts, which are the official ‘signs of attention’ in Russia. Remember also the Russian saying, “It’s not the gift that counts, it’s the attention.” The wisdom of the nation is in its proverbs!
So, these are the ways for a woman to know reliably that a man is in love with her. However, it doesn’t mean that it will get you the girl… What do you need to get the girl? Check my Coaching Program for Men to find out!
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Elena,
A great article relating the research to this online Russian woman dating environment. It is clear what are the basics or fundamental ways to pursue the relationship. It just appears a little more difficult being abroad in another country achieving this attention or gift giving process (time zones etc)
Excellent and helpful report. Thank you
Elena, May I leave a comment about this article because to me it is quite confusing as an American. There is one thing obviously missing. Maybe they missed it but how about saying “I love you”. And you can tell your partner this for no reason and when they least expect it..
Also if it’s not too much trouble can I tap into your expertise? Elena, will a Ukrainian girl ever tell her partner she loves him before he tells her? How will someone know when she loves him?
Mark, they did include love confessions in the questionnaire. Look at the detailed tables with people’s responses (the line “Reciprocity, declaration of love”).
And about Ukrainian girls, if you make love 3 times a day and she is always smiling when she sees you, this is a safe bet to assume she loves you 😉
Elena, of course I can’t speak for everyone but I want to thank you for your heart warming response. It’s so obvious how deeply you care about your clients and the lady’s you are helping to form lifetime bonds with. And let us not forget the mutual children they will have together. Thank you. You are setting quite an example in this industry which is saturated with individuals who care nothing about anything or anybody except making a profit. Thank goodness you are here to respond to all our concerns.
Mark
Men and women live in the same society, are taught by the same standards, but it’s curious why some men don’t know these simple ideas. Especially young guys forget that a man is always considered to be a conqueror in Russia and give up immediately, when they hear ‘no’ for the first time.