Basically, any man would like to have an attractive, genuine, intelligent partner who adores him. However, finding such a person may seem like an impossible task. You can find a woman like this on Elenasmodels.com, but most men make these 7 typical mistakes, and this is why they aren’t successful, according to Elena Petrova, founder of the international dating site.

7 typical mistakes to avoid when looking for a great partner online

I have been writing about dating Russian women since 1999, and things have progressed tremendously since these days, making love and relationships easier to start online.

Today we have video chat and in 1999 ladies with access to email were rare.

Just another day a guy in a forum mentioned that there are over a million of women from countries of the former USSR who married foreign men since 1990s. I was surprised by the number and questioned sources, and he said he was in Turkey and only in his country there were over 300,000 females from the republics of the former Soviet Union married to local men. My estimations were around 250,000 such marriages worldwide, which is still an astounding number.

Of course, in most countries people tend to call all ladies from the ex-USSR republics “Russian”, even if they are from Belarus, Ukraine, or Kazakhstan. I see it in Australia where I live.

So, when I say “Russian woman”, it means any female from the post-USSR space.

The mistakes are due to the lack of understanding of the process of international dating from both sides. Yes, we do our best to inform ladies as well as men, but not all guys and girls read the posts and tips. The ones who do have the best chance to connect and be successful.

If you manage to avoid these 7 typical mistakes, you could be able to meet the woman of your dreams.

1. Hoping it will happen fast

You can start chatting with many ladies instantly and even feel overwhelmed by the attention, if you use a good-looking photo in suit and tie as your primary picture (yes, Russian women have this strange tendency to evaluate you by the sharpness of your outfit in the photo, and if you are in smoking with a bow tie on your profile photo, you will be getting more attention than you can handle).

So, starting communication isn’t hard. What is hard is to figure out how prepared is the lady to make the leap of faith and actually leave her whole life as she knows it behind her and move to another country. Of course, all Russian ladies who register on Elenasmodels.com to meet foreign men think they will be able to do it. But some of them are totally ready and made a lot of work to prepare for that, while others are still toying with the idea and may not fully understand what it entails.

• Solution: Ask ladies that you start chatting with about their view of the process and timelines. Did they think what are they going to do in the country where you live? Do they have any ideas? Do they have friends in this country or at least online contacts via social networks? Do they know someone who moved personally? Usually women who are ready to move done their homework.

Starting communication isn’t hard

2. Using wrong photos

As I explained already in the previous point, women from the countries of the former Soviet Union unconsciously estimate you on the basis of how you are dressed. The best picture for your profile will be from a wedding of your friend or family member, where you are dressed in tuxedo or suit.

Sure, you don’t look like this every day. But women from Russia use their best photo for the listing and think you are doing the same. If you don’t look your best in your profile picture (which means, suit and tie for her, not a nude torso), then she may not see you as a man who is serious enough about finding a partner for life.

This is #1 thing for her, for a man to be serious in his search. She is scared to spend time and efforts and not to find the man to be with. It takes much more effort for women, since English is their second language and it’s 10 times harder for them than for you to communicate effectively.

So, make it easy on yourself: Put a picture in suit and tie as your main profile photo.

Add a couple of photos of you looking professionally (business suit, if you have one, or smart casual as you go to dinner), plus a couple of sporty picture of your hobby pursuits or gym. The best hobbies are the ones that you can share with the woman.

Photos of you in her country aren’t recommended! She may think you are just a romance-tourist who regularly comes to have short-term affairs (rumour has it there are some men like this).  And no photos with someone else’s arm cut in the photo, even if it’s your grandmother or niece. Just you, that’s all that’s needed for the dating profile on the site.

• Solution: 3-5 photos as per our recommendations above.

 3. Not saying you want to get married

Finding a “soul mate” or “partner in crime” may sound great to you, but for her it means you are not looking to get married. Even living under the same roof with a man without a marriage is viewed in Russia as inappropriate, and the mainstream propaganda tells women the man is using her unless he wants to marry her.

Any romantic relationships without the intention of marriage are branded inappropriate and exploitative, from the side of the male.

If you don’t know about this peculiarity of Russian societal propaganda, it will be hard for you to understand women’s “standoffishness” in romantic matters. A good lady isn’t supposed to be having affairs or relationships unless the male professes his wholehearted desire to find a partner for marriage, before she even agrees on a date.

It doesn’t mean you actually are going to marry this woman. It means you aren’t looking short-term pleasures but seek someone with “honourable intentions”.

• Solution: If you would like to find a wife, say so. Russian women need to hear that to open up.

Any romantic relationships without the intention of marriage are branded inappropriate.

4. Not initiating

As I mentioned in point #1, if you have the right photos, you may be inundated with contacts from women. There are more ladies on Elenasmodels.com now than men! Just a few years ago we had more men, but not the picture is reversed. The reason for that is that Elenasmodels.com became much better known among women seeking partners abroad and we now have twice as many female registrations as compared to 6 years ago.

But what happens, the women who have just joined rarely contact men. They are not used to that, as in Russia it’s inappropriate for a female to initiate the contact with a man with a view to a romantic relationship.

This means, only the women who are more experienced will be contacting you. It doesn’t mean they are not serious, but this means you are missing out on genuine women who want a partner, unless you are also contacting women first.

• Solution: Contact women you like first, as well as answer the ones who contacted you. Otherwise you may be only communicating with more experienced ladies.

5. Evaluating women by their photos

Of course, you want your future partner to be physically attractive. But remember about the advancements of the modern graphic programs. The woman who doesn’t strike you as a beauty queen may be more attractive in reality than the one whose photos are perfect.

• Solution: Ask her for a short video of herself, once you start communicating. To make it easier for her to make one, take a short video of yourself in a collared shirt and pants, from face down and up, saying a couple of words like, “Hi, Tatiana, this is specially for you.” Ask her to send a similar video, so there is no confusion you are real people.

The woman who doesn’t strike you as a beauty queen may be more attractive in reality.

6. Thinking all women will respond

Sometimes we get complaints from men saying that women don’t answer. Of course, some women won’t answer, just as many men don’t respond to ladies’ mails and messages. It’s pretty normal. It’s abnormal when all messages and letters answered.

Normally ladies just “ignore” messages from men they deemed unsuitable (a lot because of mistakes #2 and #3). The women think that lack of response is enough indication that she is not interested. It happens rarely, but it does from time to time, that men become enraged when a woman responds negatively, or even verbally abusive. If this happened once (not only on our dating sites but on another website as well), then it’s unlikely a lady will want to be in such a situation again.

It may also happen that a lady simply stops responding. If you really like her, look at your last message and see if there is anything that could be misinterpreted or seen as offensive. Ladies from Russia have rather a thin skin and very sensitive. Even though they don’t like how things are in Russia, they will get upset if you say anything remotely negative about her country (it’s just the national pride).

You may try to email and ask, “I haven’t heard from you, is everything OK?”

If she got upset about something, she will probably respond. If she doesn’t answer, then maybe something you said differs from her idea of a happy family. For instance, you may have said you’d like your wife to stay home and she wants to be able to work, or vice versa. Things like this are personal choices and there are women who dream to be housewives and others who wish to have a career in the new country, and it’s OK. Decide what you want and look for the woman who wants the same things.

• Solution: Communicate with several women, and you will notice better connection with one or some of them.

7. Not knowing what you want

When you start talking online with women from the former countries of the Soviet Union, there is such a choice and attention, it may be overwhelming, especially compared to your local dating options.

This is where it’s easy to fall into the trap of chatting to so many wonderful ladies and then realize none of them is actually what you want for yourself.

Solution: Decide what you really wish to achieve in your life for yourself, and then look for a woman who wants the same things. You can find a woman like this for sure.

Last tips

All in all, realize there is a learning curve in communicating internationally about romance with beautiful, smart women who live on the other side of the world.

Give yourself some time to learn!

It’s definitely an experience of a life time, which will enrich your life culturally and emotionally.

Good luck in your dating!

Read also:

• Is it possible to find love online?
• Is it still worth to try to find an Eastern European wife?
• My Slavic girlfriend — Dating Slavic women vs. western women
• What exactly is online dating?