Have you ever thought about why women need men? We all know why men need women (our mothers kept telling us in our teens, “All men want the same thing”) — but why do you think females desire a man in their lives?

Presumably, this list was created by a Russian lady (or someone translated it from another language into Russian). I have found it on a Russian jokes site, posted by a Russian guy (his comments are in brackets). I then translated the whole thing into English, because some comments, which had been definitely made by a male, were quite unexpected, displaying interesting dynamics of male-female relationships, and I thought you’d be curious to find out what Russian guys thought of Russian girls.

I have found it funny, intriguing, and revealing. This creative expression of the battle of sexes will hopefully give you a glimpse into the mysterious depth of women’s soul (and into the surprisingly poetic world of Russian men).

Why we need men

1. Because they have warm palms, and we have cold fingers. (We are not afraid of the burning cold, as we unite two elements.)
2. One day they will realize (if even for 1 minute) that we are the best. (We do know, just forget it sometimes. Please forgive us.)
3. They have principles. (Which sometimes cause us problems.)
4. Sometimes they wash dishes. (I will even say always.)
5. They are taller and can reach the top shelf. (Or simply kiss the top of your head.)
6. They give us their coolest T-shirts. (And when you are not there, we put them on and enjoy your scent until our heads spin.)
7. When they say, “I love you,” it feels like we exist. (At such moments we also feel like we exist.)
8. They can install Windows. (But it’s better to backup your files.)
9. They forgive us for our feminism even though we forgive them nothing. (We forgive you everything. Just because you are beautiful.)
10. They kiss our foreheads when they cannot stay. (And then we walk out and stand behind the closed doors for a long time.)
11. They think that there are things that we will never understand, and this is why we understand everything. (???)
12. They put their hands on our knees. (Because it’s more intimate than kisses or even sex.)
13. They are manically insistent about paying for our coffees, although they have completely forgotten by now, why. (Is there any other way?)
14. They have tears in their eyes in the strong wind. (And we have to turn away, so that you don’t think anything WEIRD.)
15. They go to shops when it’s raining. (Because you need ingredients for your romantic dinner.)
16. They want to have our photos. (So we could talk to them. Yes!)
17. They remember different things about us than we remember about ourselves. (We remember everything.)
18. They don’t see any reasons for our dieting. (Even if we do, we won’t tell you.)
19. They say nothing when we say silly things. (Because it’s so cute, we don’t want to interrupt.)
20. Although when we say something smart, they also say nothing. (So that we can remember it better.)
21. They know better than us: maybe in 100 years, maybe from some other planets, but they will call. (And maybe will even come to see you.)
22. They will go to war if there is a war. (Any doubts? But we will do everything that there is peace.)
23. They don’t notice smudged makeup. (We don’t even notice when you have no makeup at all).
24. They try to pretend that women’s day 8 March doesn’t drive them insane. (And we do it quite proficiently.)
25. They want to change our lives. (For the better. We still have to live with you.)
26. They spend their last money on chocolates for us. (And the secret stash is for flowers.)
27. They will never learn to undo bras. (Even if we had 6 arms like Shiva).
28. They are annoyed if we don’t wear a bra, but have no problem if other women walk braless. (Now, who is more jealous, you or us?)
29. They think not only about love. (…)
30. Deep in their hearts, they are able to saw a button on. (And also cook soups, iron clothes etc.)
31. They cannot differentiate between Always and Kotex. (We can. The first is Bon Jovi song.)
32. They can straightforwardly admit that their single purpose of life is to sleep with us. (So that we could wake up hugging you under the sheet.)
33. They pick us up from friends’ parties, take home, and cover with a blanket. Sometimes they simply cover us with a blanket. (And then keep watching your smiling in your dreams.)
34. They love our voices. (Yes, we do love your voices.)
35. What we say is not important for them. (No, it’s important!)
36. When we tell them, “Look!”, they actually look. (Because we have a “different” logic, see p. 46.)
37. When they leave, we stay. (So that we have somewhere to come back.)
38. When we think about our past life, we think about them. (We also think about you, we even remember years and dates.)
39. Their disks have the same names as the boxes they are in. (Why, they shouldn’t?)
40. They count faster than us. (Counting sheep when falling asleep?)
41. They give their surnames to our children. (Even though it’s not principal.)
42. They do things that we are proud of. (Because we do them for you.)
43. Our beautiful lingerie and expensive perfume are not important to them. (But “thanks” anyway.)
44. They want sons but love daughters more. (And you keep asking, “why?”)
45. Sometimes they love their jobs more than us. (Please forgive us.)
46. They have DIFFERENT logic. (We simply have logic. Don’t argue!)
47. They keep thinking constructively when we are hysterical. (Is it only me who can see the connection here?)
48. They agree to do grocery shopping and buy things by the list. (So that we don’t have to go to shops when it’s raining.)
49. They are happy to eat fried eggs if we have no time to make dinner. (We are ready to eat anything made by your hands.)
50. They do not notice the mess at home. (After we have cleaned it up.)
51. They look at us with loving eyes after we cook them dinner… (and if we don’t ask for seconds, we are in trouble.)
52. They drink beer, although they like chocolate more… (we wish it was possible to throw chocolate into beer, like into champagne.)
53. They are weird. (May I don’t comment on this?)

Read also:

• 22 things Russian women will never say to a man
• 12 Russian jokes about relationships
• My Russian love story (by Dave)
• 58 questions to ask Russian and Ukrainian women when dating

>> All articles (in English)