When you start dating a western woman, you expect to get to know each other and then find out where is it going. When you are dating a woman from Russia, the intentions have to be set from the start.

Tip #8 for dating women from Russia: Intentions

There are 2 types of intentions a man can have in regard to a woman in Russia: Honourable and dishonourable.

This means, he wants to marry her or just get her to bed.

There is nothing in between. Even if you wish to be with her together, share home and bed for years, unless you are in a registered marriages, it’s considered as if you are “exploiting” her.

Relationships in Russia are only viewed as socially acceptable if the pair is married or intend to marry (in which case a sexual relationship is frowned upon). It may seem strange to you, but in many Muslim countries it’s the norm. Russia is not a Muslim country, but during the last few decades the social paradigms shifted much closer to the Muslim paradigm and away from the western freedoms in the department of gender relations.

In a way, it’s not dissimilar to what the situation was before communist revolution in 1917. During these times men and women were also expected to only date with the goal of marriage. In western countries the situation was the same.

But when communists came and enforced women into “communal” relationships, where they were not supposed to be married or in a committed relationship at all. This didn’t last, but the push scarred the relationships culture in Russia, taking the freedom of choice away from citizens and making them puppets in the state’s realm.

This could be the reason why after the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991 gender relationships bounced back to the way they were before the communist revolution.

Women in Russia became more feminine than during the times of the USSR and males became more masculine.

Women are constantly trying to figure out a man’s intentions

One of the most common questions I get from women is, “What does it mean if a man does this or that?” The reason they ask this question is to constantly trying to figure out whether the man is serious in his intentions or not.

Another question I am often asked is, “How do I tell a man this or that?” The reason why women ask these questions is that they aren’t sure how to express themselves, so that “the man doesn’t get offended”. They are so much used to trying to please the man, it feel a bit strange for someone from another culture.

Making your intentions clear to women

Making your intentions clear to women

It’s a prerequisite for a woman to feel comfortable, that a male makes his intentions about her clear.

• Serious intentions (he considers her marriage material) mean the guy is going to offer her the courtship that makes her feel valued and respected.
• Not serious intentions (he doesn’t see her as a potential wife) mean the guy is not giving her the courtship that makes her feel valued and respected.

These tips for dating women from Russia outline the steps and cornerstones of the courtship that ladies expect from guys who have serious (honourable) intentions.

If you deviate from these steps, she feels that you are not serious about her and it’s her duty as a good woman to reject you. A good woman in Russia is supposed to only date a man if there is a future, i.e. a possibility of a marriage.

She is not supposed to date for fun or pleasure. Dating is a social responsibility and not meeting the societal expectations makes her an outcast. No woman wants to be a cast out, so even if she likes you, she is likely to reject you, simply because there are no correct steps that demonstrate you are serious about her.

She doesn’t exist in a vacuum; she has a mother and girlfriends, and she is talking to them about her relationships. Even if she wanted to just drop the rules of dating in Russia, it’s hard, as she would have to hide your existence from everyone in her circle or lie.

So, make it easy on her. Just tell her you have serious intentions and you want to meet a woman you will marry. This will make her interested and allows her to commit to the process (and you), because she feels it is acceptable.

Everyone understands it may or may not work, both ways. But the intentions have to be set clear from the start. The lack of clarity makes her think you are not serious about her.

Read also:

• 5 tips how to break up with a Russian girl
• Differences between women from Russia and other countries of the former Soviet Union
• 4 great qualities of Russian men
• Love smart women? Date in a tropical paradise