These days our dating life isn’t finished in our teens and twenties. Statistics tell us that about 30-70% of couples in developed countries will divorce. This means a large part of males will find themselves unattached later in life. What does it feel like, to be single for a man at 40+? Tips to have more highs than lows when you decide to find love.
The highs and lows of the dating life of a single male 40+
As we go through stages of life, our attitudes change based on past experiences. Life changes our attitude towards dating as well. Women and men at 40+ tend to behave and act very differently as compared with people in their 20s.
- Fear of approach creates anxiety to initiate contact, even online. Many men at 40 plus are unsure how to make the first move.
- Rejection. When you are dating online, the rejection is anonymous. However, it still has the same impact as going to a bar — but why? It should not.
- Image and reality. Does the picture meet your expectations in reality? It’s that physical sphere, the emotional connection that makes it or breaks it.
- Time. Dating, online or offline, really takes time. Online dating is easier because you can do it anytime, anywhere. However, searching, contacting, communicating, planning — it’s in a way like a job, report many successful single men who found their match.
- Acceptance. Being over 40, will my family and friends accept openly my dating choices. international or local?
- Chemistry. The physical chemistry reveals itself quickly, while emotional chemistry takes time and openness to develop.
- Past. You as well as potential partners most likely have exes, children and baggage, so it’s complicated.
- Attitude. Ladies and guys at 40+ tend to gear up quite a level of attitude.
On the positive side, we are more mature, sure of ourselves and what we want in life and the future partner. At 40+ a single man’s dating life is more exciting than for a lady of the same age.
Dating looks good for single men over 40: Guys peak later than girls in life
Research found that males 50+ have more sex than ladies of the same age, so the trend for success in love is reversed.
“Males in their 50s show a higher frequency of sexual activity (compared with females from the corresponding age groups) while females in their 20s are more active than males in their 20s,” scientists reported.
Research by scientists from QUT (Australia) studied the frequency of sexual activity of males and females by age.
Tips for men 40+ to have more highs when dating
- Take time. Be patient, it should go without saying if you are over 40.
- Accept it’s a numbers approach. There will be good dates and communication and bad ones; don’t hang up on bad results.
- Set your deal breakers and don’t break your own rules. You should know by now what you like and dislike.
- Leave your bags at the door. Do not bring baggage into dating: exes, job losses, hatred to parts of your history. Get over it. You are over 40 now. Only your next 40 years will matter.
- Ensure your ready to date. You not a teenager or in the bottom half, can you manage your life well now, can you travel can you make commitments- if not stop dreaming and acting on dreams. Get match fit first
- Chill, you have time! So, don’t take things personally from confusing communications or abrupt responses. This is the internet: it’s ones and zeroes. You can leave anytime.
- Look for a person that has core values that mostly match yours. As we age, our values are more permanent and will dominate our next stages in life. So, work out yours and look for someone with mostly (not all, as this limits choice) the same values in life like you have.
- When things get serious, be calm. Get advice from trusted people, but make your own responsible choices which steps to take next.
Real life success stories happen every day. Find out for yourself!
Dating sites for men over 40
If you are looking to meet a long-term partner, websites offering introductions to ladies seeking the same things are the right place to start. Some people seek casual encounters, while others wish to meet a mate for a lifetime and spend the rest of their lives together.
Elenasmodels.com helped many marriage-minded single men and women to find their match. Give it a go and you may find the love you’ve been looking for, too!
What is your experience with looking for love at 40+? Comment below!
Read also:
- The American Dream Date
- Difference between dating sites and marriage agencies
- What Ukrainians think about marriages of local women with foreigners?
- Why there are more brides than grooms in Ukraine
All the points made above are excellent. Here are a few more I can add. I am 60 years old and have been to Ukraine many times and have developed a wonderful serious relationship with a very nice elegant lady 20 years younger than I…..it can be done. First of all, always be a gentleman…..open doors, pick up the check, say something nice about your date, and be truly interested in your date’s life journey. It makes no difference if your on a good date or a bad one. This approach of good manners and attention to the one your… Read more »
Allan, good observations and tips for men! Thank you
Dating into your 40s and more I have seen friends or acquaintances I know struggle more due to the time they have spent alone. The independence following their own routines and sharp views of what they like and don’t like tends to overflow into their dating or relationship progress. For me, I did not spend so much time alone, and I guess being a little younger I could allow my partner to enter into my life and my personal space with greater ease and unrest. While Elena has provided an excellent rationale for steps to make or approach dating pitfall… Read more »
Elena, as someone who is 43, thank you very much for giving me hope! Great article and look forward to meeting someone from your site!
Omar, thank you for the kind word – and good luck!
Most women nowadays just want to sleep around with different men all the time instead of settling down with only one.
Not in Russia and Ukraine 🙂 in these countries they want to get married and have a family.