We’ve been getting a lot of comments on the recent post about 3 dating sites I can recommend.
One guy posted a very detailed story about his encounter with a lady from Elenasmodels. One thing that surprises me often about men is that they are willing to travel to the other end of the world to meet the right woman for them, but unwilling to actually get prepared to make it a success.
Dating tips for success
The most dangerous thing I see that guys do in dating Russian and Ukrainian women is that they follow the tips they got from other western guys — whether it’s about relationships with females in their own countries or abroad.
Let’s just see what is going on there.
Tips on dating western women
One thing that gives away following tips for dating western ladies is the talk about “attraction”. The concept of attraction is huge in the western pickup (hook-up) culture. But these tips are absolutely wrong for dating Eastern European women.
You see, western countries are going through the stage of casualization of dating. Hook-ups are cool, seeking a partner for marriage is looked down upon like a type of stalking.
It is a completely different approach in the Eastern European (Russian, Ukrainian) dating culture. Hook-ups are looked down upon, and seeking one’s “second half” — a partner for life — is idolized.
How could tips for dating western females in the approach of casual hook-ups work for a girl who is seeking a lifetime commitment? The girl looking for a casual hook-up will feel attracted to different things in a guy as compared to a woman who is seeking a partner for life.
Tips on dating Russian, Ukrainian women
The advice that you could be getting from guys in forums is also something to be wary of. I know lots of guys give you dating tips along the lines, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, which means, you should string along several ladies and come to visit them all.
What is going to happen?
Most likely, what happens with 99% of these cases: All these ladies will reject you, because you are not looking like a potential partner who seeks “his second half” to any of them. You are NOT devoted.
So, you’ll be back to the dating site and will be chatting to more girls.
That’s the dating tips that guys who get paid commissions by PPL sites readily dispose.
Because the more girls you date through PPL sites, the more money they will make.
On Elenasmodels, I only read success stories from couples who say, “We knew from the start this was special and we met soon”.
There are no stories from guys who say, “I was writing to 10 girls, narrowed it down to 4 and went to meet them all, and I fell in love with Anastasia and she fell in love with me as I was checking them all”, — NO, this never happens.
Go and check success stories on EM — read at least the last 10.
The proof is in the pudding
I could have told you that this approach, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, is the best — and don’t even move until you get 3 women to visit and you have talked to them for 6 months! But that’s NOT what works for our successful couples.
What works, they meet quickly and only the two of them. And they talk a lot on messengers prior to that, many pairs spend hours daily chatting. It’s impossible to do it with 10 women, don’t even try.
When you marry someone, you are putting all your eggs in one basket. That’s the type of commitment it requires.
Yes, you are going to spend money to visit the lady without knowing whether it will work out or not. That’s the risk you take, when you pick one person out of billions available to you in the world. That’s why it’s no use to wait for months and invest hundreds of hours in communication (rather invest these hours in a second job and buy tickets to see your online girlfriend sooner). Invest more hours daily in communication, make it intense — it’s the intensity of it, not the number of months you’ve been chatting for, that makes the difference.
If you want to fail, then wait for months before meeting and visit several women
Waiting for months and visiting several candidates in one trip — that’s a surefire recipe for a disaster!
Another surefire recipe for a disaster is to listen to guys who haven’t been successful on their first meeting with a woman. If a guy made several trips to Ukraine or Russia and struggled to succeed, he was doing things wrong — and possibly, he is still doing things wrong. He may be just this type of person that females dislike. You don’t know whom you are listening to.
Women are not falling in love with what you do, they are falling in love with the type of person you are. That’s the truth.
There are some things a man in love is “supposed to do”, according to the Russian (Ukrainian) courting ritual. You have to do these things like you are ticking boxes on a form. You don’t know these things, but I do. And I am telling all about it in my book VIP Coaching Manual for men Dating Russian, Ukrainian women.
You don’t have to read it before you spend thousands on a trip to Russia or Ukraine, although it’s a wise thing to do.
Because to marry the woman of your dreams, you need to make 100 steps right. If you make one step wrong, you have to start all over. If you have the map of these 100 steps, it’s easy to make them right.
If you don’t have the map — or worse, you are following a wrong map (like tips for dating western women), then you have an extremely high chance to get it wrong.
It’s up to you.
Bit over dramatic, I understand the culture is different but surely that’s the point in a woman joining the site is to seek someone culturally different. What would be the point in joining a site and then expecting the guy to totally conform to a culture he doesn’t know. Be polite, kind and not stringing many women along goes without saying as western women don’t go for that either. You have to message a few women to find one you connect with so don’t feel. Too guilty and then the advice is good from there on in. Visit ASAP and… Read more »
Carl, That sums it up nicely: “Keep an open mind and just treat it like a holiday with a bonus of meeting a potential partner and remember that you are here because it has something you can’t find at home.” But of course, if you want it to be more than a holiday, if you want it to actually result in a lasting romance, get prepared to make it a success. Right? “By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail.” Who said that and when? Still rings true. About women expecting a guy to conform to her culture: Russian… Read more »
Could not have been more well said. Some males just flatly refuse to listen and learn. That is a BIG part of why many of them remain alone.
There is an expression in English:
“You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.”
Also still rings VERY true…
No one can help everyone. Keep up the GREAT work, please!!! 🙂
Thanks David 🙂
Treat it like a holiday are you crazy lol. Obviously you haven’t been to Russia. First of all for Americans to go to visit russia it must be well planned. It can take up to a month just to get the visa and its between $250-300 just for the visa. If you follow Elenas advice and meet the woman within 1 month and its in the summer time expect to pay $1600-$2000 or more round trip for your ticket. Then of course you have hotel, food, spending, taxis, etc. Your talking $3000-$4000 just for this holiday visit and by the… Read more »
Haha, I hear exactly the same way phrases from guys in forums all the time — about the cost of travel, eggs and baskets, “she has to earn it”, and so on. They keep these conversations for years!! 😀 And these are the forums that collect large commission checks from PPL sites — yes, they do. Check affiliate links in the ads on their websites. You don’t want to read my book? That’s fine. It’s still no use to communicate for months, stringing several women along, hoping to pick one on your visit. This has as much chance as an… Read more »
As someone who is actually engaged to a woman I met here – We didn’t meet after 1 month. We did start seriously planning an in-person meeting after about a month. But we didn’t have tickets for another month, and they were for a month later. And yeah, it wasn’t cheap, but that’s because I’m not a big fan of super-low budget travel. I don’t think I could have gotten around alone in my fiancee’s hometown without her (since I speak no Russian), but I’m pretty sure I could have in Moscow or St. Petersburg. And St. Petersburg in May… Read more »
David, thank you for the tips! Nothing beats real-life experience.
I know I talk a lot to my followers from Instagram ( @real_elena_petrova ) who live in different time zones. Many live in Europe or the USA. It’s never a problem, although Australia is in its own time zone, well ahead of other continents.
Dude, did you get cockblocked by a Russian girl? Why so bitter? It couldn’t be further from the truth. Maybe you are one of those typical Americans who embarrass the rest of us while traveling. Only truth you said was about not many people speaking English. But have you heard of Google translator? You make an effort to speak in Russian and you have no problem even if they don’t speak English they will try to help you. I went to Moscow and met my fiancée there. People were not rude. They actually helped me a lot from buy an… Read more »
I would most certainly accept facts from a professional for guidance and tips and not from defeated guys on forums that write such dribble. Thanks, Elena practical information from a veteran is easy to understand.
Thank you Grant 🙂
I often wonder why people tend to listen to someone who hasn’t achieved the goal vs. someone who achieved it. Dating tips from any guy who hasn’t succeeded in building a relationship with the type of woman you seek are useless.
I think human males (IMHO, there is a HUGE difference between being a male and being a man) often refuse to accept input from more successful individuals simply because doing so, in their less aware minds, equates to some sort of “failure” on their part. The fragile human male ego is often VERY unwilling to admit that it might actually (gasp!) not know what is right about absolutely everything absolutely all the time, because doing so projects some sort of Neanderthal-esque form of “weakness”, and thereby diminishes their standing both in their own insecure eyes and in the eyes of… Read more »
David, I didn’t actually think that me being a woman could make my dating tips less valuable in men’s eyes 😮
I would think the other way around — they don’t know what women think and I do?
But it totally makes sense 🙁
Good Morning, Elena. I apologize if I was unclear. Competent, learned advice from a true PROFESSIONAL such as yourself is always very gratefully received by MEN everywhere. The problem is there are very few MEN in the world today, and literally billions of males. Being a male is easy – just be born with a certain appendage. Being a MAN is a far more arduous process, one which requires conscious thought and effort to understand one’s responsibilities to both oneself and to the world at large. Sadly, the vast majority of males simply choose to never put in the work… Read more »
David, 🙂
Hi Elena, I can confirm that American pickup and dating culture teaches “never take dating advice from a woman.” I’ve heard this from many so-called “instructors.” If you look at dating advice videos on Youtube, especially ones done by women, you will see that comments like this are usually at the top. Yeah, it’s pretty bad. This just shows how different the two cultures really are. Honestly, even I was hesitant to believe what you say because I’d been taking bad advice like this for so long. However, after reading many of your blogs, testimonies, and profiles, I can say… Read more »
Bryan,
Wow, they teach that? Amazing.
I thought the only dating advice that a person shouldn’t take is the one that doesn’t work.
A lot of guys find that American women say one thing but do another- i.e. the dating advice they give is not what they actually want. The most common stereotype is girls saying they want “a nice guy,” but they actually go for “bad boys.” This kind of behavior is what pushes us to date foreign women.
Bryan, that’s not a dating advice — that’s rather a wish, what she wants in a partner. Nor men neither women know what they want! Guys too say they want a “family oriented woman” but go for girls with tits out, lips with fillers, hair extensions and so on 😉 the sexy diva look!
Dating advice from a coach is a completely different thing.
Hi Elena I in large part agree with your observations, though I believe it must be said, certainly from my experience things don’t always go as planned. I’ve met 4 women from the website over the past 18 months and at great personal expense in the search for love. Sometimes circumstances dictate that things don’t always go as smoothly as we all would like and I’ve learned from these experiences. I’m not a professional dater or unreasonable but I will not marry any woman just because she’s beautiful and nor would I expect any woman to just marry me because… Read more »
Mick, first, congratulations on finding someone you truly feel connected with! That’s awesome to hear that.
Yes, partner visa fees in Australia are $7,000 per partner visa application (kids are 3,5K), which is pretty steep. They keep hiking it up, just half a year ago there was no charge for kids under 18.
Elena
Are there any immigration agents that specialise in Eastern European or Slavic women. I would welcome recommendations if you have any.
Thanks in advance
Mick
Yes, check this post.
My experience is different, when I start communicating with them, I introduce myself and tell her about me and my job and what I am looking for in life, but the moment I start asking similar questions they stop talking to me. Also, if I politely ask for a fresh current photo different that the studio made photos they posted in their profile then they stop talking to me as well. In my opinion I don’t see anything wrong in asking questions because I am only trying to get to know a bit about the person and to have an… Read more »
Guille, it may be not WHAT you say or ask but HOW you do it; that’s an important dating tip. Things can be perceived very differently depending on the tone of voice, you know. If someone yells at you and looks angry, but they say, “You are handsome”, I don’t think it will make you happy. Or of a woman looks at you lovingly and tells you in a gentle voice, “You are horrible”, I don’t think it would make you upset. So, it’s most likely the way you do you it, rather than what you are saying. You actually… Read more »
Elena, I am flying to Russia on the 19th to meet one of your members. I am a platinum member on the site. Before I go, I think I’ll read your coaching tips. Want this to go as well there and on forward as it is now.
Can I order direct from my member page? Just did not see the link on my member page.
John
John, here is the link:
https://www.elenasmodels.com/dating-russian-ukrainian-women/coaching-program/
When I used to date, I would meet a woman who had the, “Basic Stuff,” to make a relationship work, and I would develop my love. I would look at her strengths, her attractive features, and appreciate them, think of how I would compliment her in a relationship. Her quirks and idiosyncrasies I would prepare myself to be patient with my whole life. Inevitably, the woman would act like I was ‘creepy’ and just stop taking my calls, and not call herself. I don’t date. I don’t want a partner who has allowed themselves to be indoctrinated by the globalist… Read more »
Tom, you can seek anything you want, it’s just what are you prepared to do for that. My grandmother died at 92 and she went through 2 world wars and Stalin’s Gulag with my grandfather, who was sent to Siberia for having been captured by Germans as a prisoner of war (they were considered “traitors” as soldiers were expected to die but not surrender). She was actually given 1 month to live and sent home to die by a prison doctor due but survived. So, not all women in Russia have the life expectancy of 70 years, especially if they… Read more »
Thank you Elena for this article! Very helpful, not only for western guys, but for me as well. I’m a Ukrainian woman recently moved to United States, was a little shocked by American men behaviour while chasing girls. I worked in multinational environment – half of working staff was represented by Americans (young single guys of diff backgrounds), other half by Ukrainian/Russian girls/women (most of them recently moved to the US). It seemed to me, most of American guys were amazed by beauty of our girls and were willing to start relationship with them, but no one succeeded, which was… Read more »
Innessa, thank you for the feedback!
Yes, it’s so different, right?
American guys just don’t get it, how Russian girls think, and dating tips that may work with western women (of a “hook-up” type only) give absolutely the opposite results with ladies from post-USSR countries who seek a guy who is devoted just to her.
Honestly, I can not imagine a woman, who would like western dating model)) It’s really weird unless you do not want to fall in love with anyone
Innessa, so true!
Innessa!
Thanks.
This was a minute when I understand what does mean unreliable/ not responsible.
One girl from St. Petersburg continously use this two word … for local guys there.
But never explain even when I asked two times what does she mean under that.
So thanks.