Eastern European women from the former USSR may have a genuine point when looking for men who are ready to wait with intimacy. Lust and love are different by nature, scientists say.
Lusting after a woman isn’t the same as loving her, scientists warn
Love is a long-term feeling, scientists believe, while lust is short-lived.
And it is possible to start the relationship right, in order to ensure its long-term prospects, apparently.
If you are talking during your first date (or first messages, if you are on a dating site) about short-term things like feelings, adventures, smells and tastes, daily happenings, your are strongly rooted in the presence and the feelings you have are more likely to lead to lust.
Vice versa, if you are discussing future goals and aspirations, views and values, it’s a more long-term proposition and such conversations are more likely to lead to something serious.
With this view, if you wish this woman to view your approach as serious, it makes much more sense to start your first message on the dating site with something you’ve read in her profile that relates to her values and long-term goals, as opposed to the regular, “Hi, how are you today?”
Such a start straight away gives the woman a feeling you are “not serious” because you are referring to something that is happening today, not some prospects this introduction may lead to.
Yes, it’s such a small nuance but it could make all the difference for you!
How to start the conversation right
If you are thinking about a long-term relationship with someone special, don’t be afraid to spell it out. Add a phrase to your profile to remove any doubts!
Women review your profile before answering your messages on the dating site.
Also, start your message with not just complimenting her appearance, but also acknowledging your unity in values and long-term goals that she included in her profile.
For example, as good phrase to start your letter with would be, “Just like you I believe that family is the most important thing in life”, if this is what she wrote in her profile.
This would make you stand out from the crowd of other admirers who begin their messages with standard meaningless phrases.
In Russian, people are not used to chit-chat and meaningless pleasantries. They usually go straight to the point, which some people see as ‘rude’ but others find such honesty and directness refreshing.
Enjoy your dating!
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