A new research demonstrated that the known phrase ‘Fake it till you make it’ doesn’t work in the office. If people tried to appear more positive, it rather backfired.

Don’t ‘fake it’! ‘Feeling it’ is the key

What did work the best in the office environment was the conscious effort to feel the emotion the person was showing to others.

The University of Arizona professor Allison Gabriel was the leading author of the research, which looked into how people manage emotions at work.

“Surface acting” (fake it) and “deep acting” (changing one’s own emotional state at will) are the two major types of feelings-management strategies that people utilize at work.

• Feeling frustrated deep inside while appearing enthusiastic is an example of “surface acting“.
• Making an effort to change one’s inner state to enthusiasm, and then displaying it to others is an example of “deep acting“.

“When you’re deep acting, you’re actually trying to align how you feel with how you interact with other people,” Gabriel pointed out.

Researchers reviewed interactions at work in several professional environments, such as engineering, finance, education, and manufacturing.

In both cases of emotional regulation (surface and deep acting) people are making a conscious effort, but in the first case they are masking their feelings, while in the latter changing the actual emotion.

Obviously, there is a conscious effort required to manage both strategies, and possibly similar amounts of energy. However, the effects of utilizing one strategy as opposed to the other were vastly different.

‘Faking it’ wasn’t bringing the actors the results they hoped for, but rather backfired.

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players?

Apparently, not! There are in fact people who don’t attempt to manage their emotions to appear more positive to their colleagues at work.

The researchers identified 4 types of behaviour by people:

1. Non-actors: People who basically don’t try to act in any way on either surface or deep level.
2. Low actors: People who do a little bit of surface and deep acting.
3. Deep actors: People who actively engage in managing emotions on the level of deep acting, and do little of surface acting.
4. Regulators: People who actively engage in surface and deep acting.

In all working environments, people who are non-actors were the least numerous. Other 3 groups were similar in size.

Which strategy is the most useful to utilize, if you wanted to advance at work? You may have guessed by now, to make a genuine effort to feel positive, and then display the emotion to others. This was by far the most successful management tool for advancing at work, including support from co-workers and gaining their trust.

In all working environments, people who are non-actors were the least numerous.

Why do people act?

We all have done it, apparently, albeit on different levels, so you can simply ask yourself!

What the researchers discovered, there are two major reasons for trying to appear more upbeat than you are feeling at the moment.

• Pro-social: The desire to be seen as nice colleague, maintain relationships.
• Impression management: Gaining access to resources, presenting well in front of the management.

Deep actors are driven by pro-social reasons. They are also manage to reap the highest rewards: Greater support from their colleagues in form of assistance with an urgent task or instructions.

On the level of success at work, people who are deep actors were able to progress in achieving goals faster. They also trusted their colleagues the most.

However, if a person was doing a lot of both deep and surface acting, it was stressful for the individual, researchers report. This is a typical feature of regulators, who were found to feel inadequate at work and had low scores on the scale of personal well-being.

At the end of the day, Gabriel pointed out, “It all boils down to, ‘Let’s be nice to each other.’ Not only will people feel better, but people’s performance and social relationships can also improve.”

Emotional management in dating

Being yourself is a great strategy, according to dating coaches, but apparently there is even a better one.

Making yourself a better person seems to be the definite winner for relationship management. Changing your emotional state to a more positive one and giving trust to others freely rather than mistrusting them by default is something we can take from the office environment to the online dating universe.

The losing strategy, as it appears, is to mask one’s genuine emotions and try to pretend to be content when you are furious. Well, lying and pretending had been always the thing we hate the most in other people, right? Just when it comes to ourselves, some of us are much more tolerant in this regard.

Happy dating!

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