When something unexpectedly good happens, people tend to remember things way better. Knowing this, if you provide an unexpected benefit to the person you are trying to impress (for instance, a woman you are dating), they will remember you more.
This makes perfect sense in dating Eastern European women, who are easily impressed by a bunch of pretty flowers, for instance, which comes as an unexpected benefit. The windfall doesn’t have to be giant, just pleasant enough. Even a great parking spot near the entrance on a busy day could make all surrounding events unforgettable.
Unexpected benefits make memories last
Human beings possess two types of memory, namely the specific episodic memory and the integrated memory.
To help you understand, where you have left the car by your office falls into the first category, while remembering all available parking spots in the vicinity is what our integrated memory is responsible for.
However, did you know that, when an outstanding event (which is better than the average or expected outcome) occurs, it boosts memorization of such an event?
In the above illustration, finding a particularly good spot to park would make this case stand out in your memory among numerous casual parking events.
In addition, when something especially good happens, an individual tends to keep in mind also accompanying details like setting specifics or certain features related to the major subject.
We are better at remembering wins
The abovementioned effect has been revealed by the study headed by the assistant professor Matt Nassar (Brown University).
To get a deeper insight, Nassar’s team has been working on the study together with the Carney Institute for Brain Science.
The final report presenting the study findings has been made public in the Nature Human Behaviour Journal.
The experiment involved two stages – a learning phase followed by a memory phase. 250 participants were involved.
At the first step, the study participants were given a ‘guess an image’ chance to win like in a coin-flip game.
They also had an option to pass a round. After each attempt, they were informed about the actual win.
In case of failure, ten points were deducted from the participant’s balance; after a successful round, he was credited extra reward points.
Most importantly, at the end of the game, a participant’s point balance was converted into a respective sum of cash (which typically did not exceed $5).
The second stage was to check event-related memories acquired by the participants. In general, it was found that the memorization rate was higher in conjunction with the winning rounds as compared to those lost or passed.
Wins create long-term memories
Apparently, people pay attention in different ways depending on whether they are winning or losing.
There is a correlation between how much attention an individual involved paid during the first stage of the experiment (the learning phase) and what results they managed to show during the second stage (the memory phase).
One specifically noticeable finding was that winning events were kept in mind much better than losing or neutral ones.
For instance, participants managed to recall details of a winning image, as measured 5 minutes after the completion of the experiment and 24 hours later.
The memorization rate was approximately the same in these cases. Such a result was quite surprising for Nassar and his team.
Summarizing his experiment, Nassar refers to a previous study conducted by Ingrid Bethus’s team in 2010.
The work involved rodents and revealed that dopamine significantly improves 24-hour memorization but can hardly help with boosting short-term memory. But in case of humans, it shows different results.
Any event that surpasses our expectations triggers the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter, in the human brain.
Apparently, dopamine could play a role in forming long-term memories. Even irrelevant details are kept in mind about unexpectedly pleasant events.
What’s the lesson?
Create your own unexpected wins for a person you wish to impress. It makes you unforgettable!
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Sometimes, defeats can be so hurtful, that we will remember it more then all wins. Always, when I lost in competitions, I had a desire to win, that is why I remember it for a long time. Of course it is not scientific evidence, but my personal experience.