Is being modest a virtue when it comes to relationships?
In Russian, there is a popular saying, which can be translated as, “Modesty beautifies” (“скромность украшает”).
In other words, being modest makes a person more beautiful.
I have written before about it before, explaining that in the Russian, Ukrainian culture there are lot of things that women are not supposed to do, since “a girl should be modest”.
This comes from the principle above.
Now, there are quite a few opinions on the blog titled “Does modesty make you more beautiful?”
This is what some of the ladies on the Russian blog said about it.
Alina: Being modest meant being timid
«Modesty is the main beauty of a girl,» that was the favourite saying of my grandmother. In her view modesty was to be sublimely quiet and reserved, have no opinion of my own. As a child, I despised it and hated the word «modesty». But with time I understood that my grandmother didn’t really understand what being modest means and that modesty is a virtue.
Anna: Russian men want a downtrodden girl
In Russia modesty mean downtroddenness. A girl should not have her own opinions, desires, or be active.
In other words, to dress like a hooker and accidentally show some parts of the body – it’s normal. Giggle because some stranger pinched her breast – it’s normal. But having her own opinion, expressing her will, initiative – that’s immodest.
And it’s both men and women that think so. No one needs thoughtfulness, politeness, tactfulness.
From the point of view of many men (although everything is changing now), a modest woman should play along and say “Yes” to everything, constantly compliment, be easy, gutless, and totally give up her personal identity.
Men find women’s manipulations enjoyable. As the result, sexual revolution in Russia produced very strange results. Russian men are scared of women, they need a “feminine”, i.e. downtrodden girl, to “win her over” (although the girl will be manipulating at the same time). But in bed they expect that she will suddenly turn into a sexually active woman. Men’s logic.
Ybrjkfq: Being modest was a component of chastity
I think that the term modesty comes from the old times. Modesty was a component of chastity. Such girls were decent wives. So, the meaning that was given to this word was coming from the society.
Do you like modest girls?
And here is a question for you, guys.
Do you like a modest girl — and if yes, what does it mean for you?