A recent post about Russians helping their senior relatives attracted a question about taking in old parents, as opposed to moving them into an aged care facility. Russians do look after their aged parents when they are unable to look after themselves and nearly never send their seniors to old people homes, and there is a good reason for that besides kindness and compassion.

Why do Russians look after aged parents?

On the surface, the fact that people in Russia are eager to look after their elders looks like a testament to the strong family values, which women from the countries of the former USSR are famous for. But in reality, there is a strong economic basis for them to do it, whether they admit it or not.

First, oftentimes Russians do not “take in” aged parents, but rather move in with them in their apartments. It is more convenient for the older person, since their friends and neighbours form part of their support network, and they are able to continue having this assistance while living in the same place.

Russians usually live in the same apartment for generations. If you ask Russian women on Elenasmodels.com how long they have been living in the same flat, you may be surprised. Most Russians own their flats outright (no mortgage) and they don’t upgrade them for something better but simply continue living in the same home.

Why? A lot of apartments in Russia are still owned by the state, since the times of the USSR when all the real estate was possessed only by the government.

Housing in the USSR

USSR existed for nearly 70 years, so all the people who were alive in Russia in 1991 when the largest country of the world split into 15 independent republics, lived in homes given to them for free by the state.

The vast majority of Russians lived in blocks of units; they call them “flats”. These flats were owned by the state and looked after by the area’s home-managing administration (“domoupravlenie”): One managing company for all the many blocks of apartments in nearby streets.

Apartments were allocated free of charge on the basis of merits and number of family members, strictly by the rules. For instance, if the norm was 7 square meters per person, a family of 4 would get a unit that was had just over 28 square meters of the living space (the total area of all rooms excluding bathrooms, kitchens, entrance halls, and walkways).

A family would have to wait for years to get an apartment, depending on the factory or company the parents were working for. For instance, workers of a building company would be able to get a flat in 2-3 years. Teachers might have to wait for 8-10 years before moving to the top of the queue. This was an important factor when people were looking for jobs: How long they would have to wait to get a flat.

The primary occupant didn’t own the apartment. All family members of the primary occupant were allowed to register as living at this address. Every person in the USSR had to have a registered address and without it he or she wouldn’t be able to get a job or get a medical treatment; everything was allocated only in the area where your registered address was. It was hard to move to another city because of this system.

There was a list of reasons allowing to be registered at a certain address; you had to be a bona fide family member (husband, wife, kids, grandkids).

If the primary occupant moved out of the apartment or died, other family members were allowed to continue living there. It was practically impossible to get rid of a person who had a registered address at the apartment, unless they were willing to un-register. Imagine the predicament during divorces, but that’s a story for another time.

Most people over 50 had someone else registered in their apartments, even if they lived alone, to ensure the family doesn’t “lose” the flat should something happen with the occupant.

1-room units are the most popular type of accommodation among renters and first home buyers in Russia. In this apartment, only the living room would count as the space within the “norm” of allocation during the Soviet times. The hall, kitchen, and the bathroom wouldn’t.

Housing in post-Soviet Russia

The post-Soviet Russia inherited the system of this state-owned apartment buildings with people having registered addresses. Perestroika allowed citizens to privatize their apartments: Become owners rather than occupiers. People simply had to apply and get the documents.

But many Russians chose not to do it. The reason? Costs of ownership were much higher than payments to a state-owned management company. Many people were afraid of higher costs and decided to keep apartments in state ownership, rather than privatize them.

For non-privatizes apartments, the system is still the same: All people who are registered at a certain address can continue living there, once the primary occupant dies. It is a chance to pass the property as an inheritance with no taxes, in a way.

Even for apartments in private ownership, it will be usually the person residing at the address who inherits the property after the death of the elderly occupant via a legal will. It’s reasonable, since he or she had to be a caretaker for years.

This is the style of buildings where typical Russians live. In our times young people have to buy flats (which most of them cannot afford), while older people got it from the state for free.

It’s not only kind to look after aged parents and grandparents, but also beneficial

This is why Russians are so devoted to their elderly relatives (parents, grandparents, aunts) and help them a lot, eager to look after them rather than send to an aged care facility. It is a guaranteed  way to get a free apartment. Sure, helping aged family members is part of family values. But without the economic base behind it, this probably wouldn’t be working so smoothly.

This is why Russians don’t send their elders to aged care but look after them at home.

I know a case where a woman moved to another city to look after a paralysed mother for years, leaving the husband and kids to manage on their own. The same happens with males; they too often look after aged parents.

Russian women, probably, wouldn’t want to explain it to you in such a detail, but this is how it really works.

Lots of social behaviours of Russians come from the way how the homes are owned, including their reliance on parents and obedience of family’s wishes.

Please note, I am talking about Russians here, but the mentality and customs are the same in Ukraine, Belarus, and very similar in countries like Kazakhstan or Kyrgyzstan. The last two are slightly different because the predominant religion in these countries is Islam, while in Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus most people consider themselves Christians.

Read also:

• Who is seen as poor in Russia?
• Top-5 beliefs of Russian women you won’t like
• Who is getting the kids after the divorce in Russia?
• Bob (USA): Russian women make the BEST wives