There is a big discussion on the women’s blog about modesty and what does it truly mean, and whether this quality is helpful in life and relationships.
Is being modest a virtue when it comes to relationships?
In Russian, there is a popular saying, which can be translated as, “Modesty beautifies” (“скромность украшает”).
In other words, being modest makes a person more beautiful.
I have written before about it before, explaining that in the Russian, Ukrainian culture there are lot of things that women are not supposed to do, since “a girl should be modest”.
This comes from the principle above.
Now, there are quite a few opinions on the blog titled “Does modesty make you more beautiful?”
This is what some of the ladies on the Russian blog said about it.
Alina: Being modest meant being timid
«Modesty is the main beauty of a girl,» that was the favourite saying of my grandmother. In her view modesty was to be sublimely quiet and reserved, have no opinion of my own. As a child, I despised it and hated the word «modesty». But with time I understood that my grandmother didn’t really understand what being modest means and that modesty is a virtue.
Anna: Russian men want a downtrodden girl
In Russia modesty mean downtroddenness. A girl should not have her own opinions, desires, or be active.
In other words, to dress like a hooker and accidentally show some parts of the body – it’s normal. Giggle because some stranger pinched her breast – it’s normal. But having her own opinion, expressing her will, initiative – that’s immodest.
And it’s both men and women that think so. No one needs thoughtfulness, politeness, tactfulness.
From the point of view of many men (although everything is changing now), a modest woman should play along and say “Yes” to everything, constantly compliment, be easy, gutless, and totally give up her personal identity.
Men find women’s manipulations enjoyable. As the result, sexual revolution in Russia produced very strange results. Russian men are scared of women, they need a “feminine”, i.e. downtrodden girl, to “win her over” (although the girl will be manipulating at the same time). But in bed they expect that she will suddenly turn into a sexually active woman. Men’s logic.
Ybrjkfq: Being modest was a component of chastity
I think that the term modesty comes from the old times. Modesty was a component of chastity. Such girls were decent wives. So, the meaning that was given to this word was coming from the society.
Do you like modest girls?
And here is a question for you, guys.
Do you like a modest girl — and if yes, what does it mean for you?
Comment below!
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Absolutely not. Modesty is a virtue of the past. A ‘modest’ woman is seen to be shy, uptight, and less engaging than the modern woman. Men who prefer modest women are usually insecure themselves, and find the modern woman a challenge, even intimidating. A confident woman who is comfortable in her character and sexuality is much more intriguing.
That’s an interesting evaluation, Keith! Basically, all Russian women who commented are convinced that modesty is a virtue for sure.
And so, my struggles with the cultural differences continue … )) Thanks Elena.
😀 😀
If modesty is not your thing, I recommend Miami beach, there is no modesty there.
Hmm, I don’t see why modesty has to be equated with shy, uptight, or sexually repressed. Women can be outgoing, engaging, and have a healthy sex life without acting or dressing provocatively! Of the women I’ve dated, one of the worst lovers I ever had dressed like a centerfold model and was very flirtatious and forward, but one of the most exciting women I ever dated had the reserve of Sunday School teacher. So ladies, please keep the modesty and let the passions build as you and your man get to know each other!
Yes, you’re absolutely correct but why do you people go for dating with every everyone and all the time? I hate dating…
I think that’s right… But man should look after his wife financially… I mean, she need not have to or not necessarily have to work outside the house to earn for her living…
Absolutely
Nope, you missed it.
A woman can be modest and sexual. She can be modest and tough, modest and ambitious even!
It just means shes not brash or loud.
Modesty is in the same family as class and elegance.
She need not show the world all she’s got!!
Far from timid, that’s confidence and self worth.
Bravo beautiful!
depends on your, definition of modesty since this can vary from person to person. but to me it would be dress code, and to not contradict me in public keep all inquiry in private. getting to know each other, should be kept intimate. in private a woman, should be able to express her views by inquiry.
I suppose it all depends on your view of modesty. To me it definitely does not mean “downtrodden/No opinion” etc. Every lady should be able to be independent and have here own beliefs, opinions and freedom to express them. Modesty I see as maybe a less assertive person, someone who is less likely to “being centre of attention”! Respectful of others. This does not mean lack of personality, or such like. (My thinking is coming from a western culture, where largely general thinking is “I am better than you”! Or “more important than you”! Modesty or basic manners are getting… Read more »
Here are three definitions of “modest.” •the quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities. •the quality of being relatively moderate, limited, or small in amount, rate, or level. •behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency. The first and the last seem more person orientated. One can be outstanding in ability but not a braggart about it. He would be modest. Actually, a person who is head and shoulders above others in some quality does not need to strut his stuff. It goes unsaid because it glows. Simply because a woman… Read more »
Modest Girls I like a modest girl. Here is a discussion on modesty, and related topics that could be confused as part of the discussion on modesty. Modest women don’t need makeup, at least not a lot: Red talons, like blood soaked claws, (how do you type an email?, dial a phone number?). Toenails are worse, nothing more grotesque than an unattractive plump foot all painted up like a circus animal’s. Chemical face, most girls can’t apply make up correctly, it isn’t bad if it looks like there is no make up at all. A young girl can get away… Read more »
Tom that’s quite deep! 🙂
I think you have gotten a bit off topic. Sometimes less is more.
William!, No doubt you are right. I see a certain narcissism in my writing. I have been complimented, don’t want it to go to my head, but I like my writing–and though I am sure it could be parsed down considerably–am emotionally tied to it. That goes with my tendency to be a packrat. I hate to throw things away. Thanks for the feedback.
It is no surprise that you are single, Tom Condom !
You are a woman, or a feminized man. You see, a man would never twist my last name to make it sound like a prophylactic. Real men don’t start battles that could go physical, saving themselves for defense of their loved ones in a real threat. You have no argument, so you insult. Condons came over with William the Conqueror, were instrumental in Wales, and were with Strongbow in Ireland. I have a proud legacy. Would you like to learn somethong, little boy? No one can define someone who knows his or her self. Cockroaches hurl ad hominem attacks from… Read more »
I enjoyed reading your poetic views about modest girls. The man I am dating with just told me, I am a modest woman. He is a very soft spoken man, very gentle in everything he does. I admired the way he appreciates me as a woman and I am honored to be a feminist modest woman who values the integrity being a woman. You’re so deep… yet profound indeed in your words…but readers will picked up some point of views to alleviate their knowledge about what does it mean to be modest woman. Your wisdom is exemplary and commendable. Thank… Read more »
It’s easy to tell who is a father of daughters and who isn’t. I am a father of little girls, and I stress to them that there are boundaries they should maintain. If they want respect, they need to respect themselves. Part of this is how they dress. Dress like you expect and demand respect and you will get it. One does not have to dress like a nun to be modest, but if you show too much, you send a message you might not intend to send. I think it’s every woman’s right to make this decision, but know… Read more »
Hi, one thing is men chase girls. It’s just the way we play together. You don’t chase saber toothed tigers and mate with them. You, chase fawns, they taste a lot better huh? Besides that, I work hard and compete with tough people, do I want to come home to another battle?
Of course the man must also do his role. If he beats on her, yells at her, is unpleasant to her, how can her feminine flower blossom?
Look at the wives that are happy. Then look at their husbands. Now you know.
I like modest girls, but to my mind, everything should have a middle ground. Being a teacher, I want to write that it is too hard to work with such children. I understand that it is my job, but it would be better to spend the time not on open a potential, but to improve the skills on lesson. In real life, to have a modest wife is not a good, but for some people it is an obligatory condition
Actually in Russia “modest” girls are usually those strongly connected with the religion. Being too modest in the modern world means to have no ambitions and to get nothing. But there is probably a difference between modest and shy. In this case, it is better to be modest in the manner of clothing, not to put too much cosmetics, etc.
To me a modesty is when a girl is dressed in a way that avoids inspiring sexual thoughts in men. I personally think that modesty has little to do with attractiveness. If you want to be both modest and attractive aim for dresses that accentuates the waist to hip ratio, while at the same time not being tight anywhere but the waist. Men will still be able to tell whether or not you are sexually attractive without being turned on. The best of long term oriented men will find sexual attractiveness important, but will prefer that you don’t shove it… Read more »
Modesty is more about your spiritual self. It’s not about how you dress but how you act. If you are humble because only God can cause you to be then it will translate over to the res tdd of your life such as in how you act and dress and etc. Modesty is also for men too.