We all have the past. Some of it was great and other things might have been less enjoyable. But that’s okay: You have learned and moved on. Although sometimes we might still drug these past connections that have long died into our present and future.
Baggage
We all had bad relationships, each and every one of us in this world. That’s just a part of human existence.
Starting a new year (or any other day when you are reading these lines) it’s a great idea to get rid of any out-dated connections you might have been unconsciously pulling along your timeline. Often we simply do not realize that we are doing it, just like you might have forgotten something in the back pocket of your jeans. Some of us manage to drug lots of such ex connections into every new relationship, known as “baggage”.
You probably know such people who keep talking about their exes or comparing new passions to the old flames. And while it might be sometimes useful, other times it rather hurts your budding new relationship. We often do it unconsciously without realizing it.
If there is a person you think of often, who doesn’t seem to give you much joy and inspiration, someone who hurt you down the path of your life, it may be a good time to cut them lose, what do you think?
Imagine your connection as being a rope or cord that tightly keeps you together in space and time. If you feel like you are ready to free yourself from this past link, you can simply cut this cord like a sharp strong blade would quickly separate it into two pieces, free to drift away, out of sight, out of mind.
Whatever it was, no matter how bad or painful, you can just let it go and forgive yourself at that point in life for letting this happen. You were younger and now you are more experienced, smarter, and wiser.
When you let go of past hurts, you open space for someone exciting to come into your life. This can actually happen once the space is open for them.
Excellent observation, Elena. We men sometimes are not socialized or trained by parents, friends or others on better management of our emotions. I, for one, would appreciate it if you could post further insight into just how best to accomplish this in a constructive manner. When around 20 my best friend was heartbroken from being dumped, he went out and got drunk despite being a non-drinker!! Could this be why so many Russian men are problem drinkers?? They are conditioned to ignore and supress their feelings and turn to alcohol to numb their pain. What does your life coaching teach… Read more »
Roger,
Just let go.
You cannot change it. Extract the lesson life intended to teach you, and move on. You were younger and did your best as you could, with the knowledge and skills you had at the time.
I agree, Elena. Roger, I’m sorry to hear about what happened with your friend. Best thing, I believe, to do with bad relationships is to use them as a tool on what not to look for in a future relationship.
Of course, the past should be left behind. But it’s very hard to do in moments when something is bad in my life. It seems because of the fact that happened in the past , problems occur in the present. It is scary to think about the future. I hope the new year will be better than past.
Good thoughts. However, it is hard for people to leave the baggage of the past and live here and now. People’s good or bad moments that happened to them in the past don’t let them go. But I think it’s of course really possible to forget it and look at the future with positive thoughts.