Women on Elena’s Models constantly complain that guys don’t really want to find a partner but seem to be just into long distance correspondence.
I understand some people are simply scared of leaving their house, leave alone their town or country — I am not saying it as a belittling remark; some people indeed have problems such as OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) or others. These things are managed through working with a therapist, getting the necessary help, and eventually the person is able to live a satisfactory life. But one needs to want to manage it. However, it’s probably not the problem of the majority of our clients, who are healthy and capable.
Point being: How serious are you about finding someone to love?
Finding a partner abroad or marrying a woman from Eastern Europe (Russia, Ukraine) is extremely easy. It’s not a promotion or propaganda: There are more women on our site than paying male members, so it’s really not hard.
I think the problem is that guys often don’t seriously want to find a partner and set themselves up for a failure on purpose. If they wanted to have a family oriented partner who loves them for who they are, that’s easily achievable. There is also plenty of women who want kids, so if you want a family, it’s straightforward.
But of course, if you set an unachievable goal for yourself, then it’s not going to happen. And this is what I see often, guys who set up such unachievable standards they decided to strive for that it can never come true. But they keep cheering each other up in forums and groups and keep telling things like, “If I cannot get what I want, then I’d rather stay single.”
Really? You would rather stay single? Then why do you even bother if your goal is not to succeed anyway. Would you be happy to take $100,000 as a prize, even through the top prize was $40 million? Or would you say, “No, the first prize or nothing”?
Do you think Olympic athletes are training to get the second or third medal? Every person wants the top prize. But there is only 1 place on the top, for the best one. Just 1 person in the whole world can become an Olympic champion in a given sport every 4 years. If you didn’t score the title of the best, your award will not be the gold medal. Which doesn’t mean that you have lost: Just to score a place is great.
So, you may want to re-think the mantra, “I only want the top prize and otherwise I’d stay single.” There are plenty of women who would be excited to be with you, but you think you need “the dream”.
You want the best, but probably you are not the best. The best girls settle with the best guys. You have 2 ways: to improve yourself or become more realistic. If, of course, you seriously want to find someone and do not wish to die alone.
I might want a Lamborghini but driving a Jaguar is not too bad. Better than walking and not being able to reach the places I want to see and experience. Think about it. Am I really settling by driving a Jaguar as opposed to my dream car? Not really. It’s still pretty good. It does make my life much nicer and more fulfilling than walking everywhere.
By the same token, “I’d rather stay single than get a good woman I can actually get and who will be excited to be with me” is not the best ideology if you want to live a happy and fulfilling life. I do not think there is much happiness and fulfilment in browsing dating sites and reading success stories of other couples, while you keep getting rejected or your relationships keep failing.
So, which way you are going to choose?
- Improve yourself: Get better knowledge of dating Russian, Ukrainian women — Get the VIP coaching program. You will double or triple your chances with the women of your dreams when you know what actually works.
- Become more realistic: Limit your age difference by 10 years, and you will get 10 times more responses from women who sincerely want to be with you.
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HI Elena. This article has made write to you finally. I have been looking at your site for a few weeks and reading everything I can about meeting a partner from overseas. I haven’t made contact with any women because I am not yet committed to going through with trying to find a partner and I don’t want to waste any of these beautiful girls time. I am 41, divorced with 2 children 8 & 6. They take up all my spare time. I really want to love and be loved again but was wondering if you could answer a… Read more »
Phil,
There are women and men seeking all types of things. The easiest for you would be to meet a mother with a child, kids have no problems moving and adapting, and be sure, you are going to give the child a better life in a better country. Single woman with no kids wanting to be a step mother is a rarity but there are people seeking all types of things, as I said. Some women cannot have kids but would like to be a mother. So, decide what you want and be sincere, that’s it.
I really want to find my love. I was thinking that probably my future hasband is living abroad now. But I am really afraid to do some steps for it. This information is really about me. It gave me motivation. Thanks.
It all comes down to contentment. If we’re not content being single, what makes us so sure that we will be content being married? Marriage is not the “cure-all” to loneliness. There are countless examples of couples who are married, yet both parties are lonelier than they have ever been before they got married. Marriage is not for everyone, and it will never be for everyone. The best thing for us to do is to take an honest assessment of ourselves, and really determine whether or not we are “marriage material” to begin with. Marriage is very serious business. Getting… Read more »
Andrew,
There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a partner. And sure, better be single than with a wrong partner. But insisting that you need a 30-year age gap to be content in a relationship? It’s like guys who dream of owning a jet plane but have no money to pay insurance, maintenance or airport fees. Contentment is about being real.
There is definitely nothing wrong with wanting to have a partner. I just think it’s a good idea for people to understand ahead of time what the rigors of marriage will usually demand from them (commitment, faithfulness/fidelity, trust, sacrifice, etc) and then proceed accordingly. People who possess these traits are in short supply nowadays as evidenced by many a failed marriages. Anyone who insists that a wide age gap is necessary to be content in a relationship seriously needs to have their head examined. When the “honeymoon” period comes to an end, and eventually it must/will come to an end,… Read more »
It is natural, very important to find the partner both for the woman and for the man, and it is not only about the birth of children. It is very important to the person, who will support you when it’s necessary, who will share all sorrows and pleasures, who will be with you when the whole world turns away. But, of course, everything wasn’t as if wonderful as it seems firstly. Sometimes it happens that this person can be a traitor, and it will cause awful consequences.
I think before building the relations first of all it is necessary to ask yourself a question “What do we really want from the partner?” Whether we just want an interlocutor and a friend or we want a full-fledged family with children. Marriage is a work without days off and holidays, difficult, but pleasant. It is necessary to define your intentions and desires “ashore” before a marriage, but not to think about “the dream”.
Well said Lidia… It doesn’t take much effort to dream as it does to turn a dream into reality.
I think love comes to everyone. It’s important to understand whom you really want to be with. There is no chance to meet love sitting at home and wait. Of course, it’s necessary to do something for making yourself better: read, go for sport, learn foreign languages. You need to go to different places and finally one day your love will find you.
As for me, I am afraid of true love. It seems to me that this feeling is so strong that can make me cry, feel pain and jealousy. On the other hand, I believe in fairytales about magic love and hope that I will find somebody, who will love me and will never betray me.
It is important to understand that you should always start with yourself. Developing yourself and become better every day is really important. But do not put yourself or others unrealistic goal. Because sometimes in the pursuit of the best we can forget that we already have something very good.