Building love is harder than following the steps of structured courtship. Building love requires emotional investment and skills, something that many men struggle with. This is why many western men who struggle to establish relationships at home find it easier to develop a connection with Eastern European women.
Structured courtship is typical to most post-USSR countries, except the Baltic states (Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia). It involves following prescribed steps to evoke an emotional reaction and warm feelings in a woman. For instance, giving her presents, flowers (aka “signs of attention”), paying for dinners and holidays.
It’s a reliable road to having her appreciation and, in case of a genuine woman, affection.
- If she allows you to court her, then she is open, with time and growing more accustomed to you, to having a close relationship.
- And a close relationship, in expectations of a woman from the post-USSR, should lead to a long-term connection, which she would love to become a committed union.
- Any love affair, in the view of Russian, Ukrainian girls should ideally result in a marital bliss. Otherwise, why even bother?
Western countries vs. Eastern Europe
The scheme of flowers, presents, and a follow up quick marriage proposal used to be typical of relations between men and women in western countries as well.
Up until 1960s this was the regular courtship ritual, since a woman’s role was to be a housewife and a mother.
It is this ritual that girls from the former Soviet Union see as correct and proper. Even ladies who earn good money and are perfectly capable of buying things for themselves, own their homes, run businesses and manage people at work, even these women feel pleased when a man brings her flowers and picks the bill at a restaurant.
Such is the society’s expectation of a proper gentleman’s behaviour towards a woman he loves—just like the white dress for a bride at a wedding.
Because of what the courtship ritual involves in Russia and post-USSR countries, it’s quite possible and straightforward to find a committed relationship following this sequence.
- Besides that, the only things a Slavic woman seeks in a man when dating are reliability and his serious intentions. (Which are again confirmed by his following the proper courtship process).
- Love making skills are rather unimportant; women value higher these men who do not ask for physical intimacy. This, too, confirms the man’s serious intentions towards his lady (as opposed to a quick hook up).
So, whatever you thought you knew about dating pretty girls in your country, will probably backfire in case of females from the Eastern Europe—even though it’s much easier to establish a connection with them, when you follow proper courtship steps. It’s the paradox that makes many western men fail in relationships with beautiful girls from Russia, Ukraine, or Belarus.
The process of how people start committed relationships in western countries centres on building love.
- To find a girlfriend, a man needs to make her interested and not just in a financial way.
- Moreover, trying to evoke love through presents and gifts may backfire.
- Some men lack skills to attract women or be entertaining, which are hard to compensate in the process of building love.
- The skill of pleasing a woman through love making becomes essential as well.
- In short, the process of love building is focused around mutual pleasure through communication and contact; without that a woman is unlikely to stick around.
- There is no certain structured process to follow.
- A quick marriage proposal will most likely be rejected. Love-building takes time.
Of course, in Eastern Europe people also build love in a couple. But in quick marriages, which are still typical for post-USSR countries, love-building process is jump-started by the structured courtship and mainly takes place already after the wedding. In other words, people do it as a committed couple, rather than first building love and then getting married.
Because of high level of cheating and infidelity among men, Eastern European women are fearful of fully dedicating all their efforts to a man who is not formally committed to the relationship. Unless she knows you are serious in your intentions and have chosen her (by putting the ring on her finger), she keeps part of her affection locked away, until such times she can let it go, fully confident in your common future as a couple.
- If you compare this process to purchasing a home, you don’t start packing your things until the contract of sale becomes unconditional. This is what an Eastern European lady needs to fully open up to you.
Why Eastern European women struggle if there is no structured courtship
It’s hard for ladies who are brought up within the norms of structured courtship process and expectations of how relationships proceed (compulsory towards a marriage, or it’s a “bad relationship” by definition) to find themselves in a situation where the man doesn’t follow the prescribed structure.
- Your spending time on the relationship is valued less than a bouquet of flowers delivered to her address.
- Flower delivery makes her feel valued, while if there are no presents, she feels you do not value the relationship or her.
What’s the solution for men wanting a lasting love? Follow the process and at the same time improve your ability to be a good partner.
To build up on both those skills—learn to be a better partner, i.e. “love building” skills, as well as how to properly court an Eastern European lady, so that she feels like you are her Destiny—download the VIP Dating Coaching Program by Elena Petrova.
It will help you to find a woman who genuinely loves you and will stick with you through thick and thin.