Not all love stories have a happy ending. You can meet and have a great chemistry, but it may not end up in a happily-ever-after. This is life, and things may change. Sometimes we do things without thinking, and damage a connection that was going so amazingly. Below is the story by one of our members, how he found and lost his love with a Russian lady.
Is it the end or is there another chapter waiting to be written?
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By Dave
Long time ago I started to write to a woman from far away. We were on Skype for four months every day from early in the morning to late at night. What began as a normal conversation developed into warm and open feelings. Day after day we grew more attached to each other and it felt so right. The feelings we shared were exactly the same from both sides. We could feel each other sometimes so intense that I thought here it was, my soul mate somewhere on this planet.
One day I booked a hotel and a flight to Moscow to go and see her. When I arrived at the airport and saw her for real, she was different than the pictures on the site but I didn’t care because the most important for me was the inner spirit of a person. She still was very beautiful to me and she stole my heart, and the way we looked at each other felt like the right and best feeling of my life! We were very shy at the beginning but we could not keep our eyes off each other. She brought me to my hotel and all the time we felt like teenagers who found real love! I stayed for 5 days and from the first day to the last day we were happy and felt amazing together. She stayed all the time with me. We made love from the first night, every morning and evening for 5 amazing days, and it was like a dream come true! Our souls melted together for the right reason! Love of the most beautiful kind! Everything was sweet, soft, tender, kind, full of romance and passion. I never wanted to lose her or the feelings we had for each other. For me, she is the best thing that ever happened to me. I would give my life for her and I wanted to become a friend to her three children. I would do everything for that happiness. The day I had to leave Moscow and go back home, I cried my eyes out because I just could not leave her behind. It felt like leaving my soul and heart in Russia.
Once I got back home, the atmosphere changed within her. She became cold and icy against me. Every time I asked her a serious question, she ignored it. She thought that I wanted to rush her but I understood that it would take some time for her to. She asked me once my opinion about something and maybe I was too open and honest about it, and probably too hard, but I never would want to hurt her. Not a single hair! Using a translator makes things very hard sometimes and a lot of misinterpretations and words with different meaning come out of it. She felt like I wanted to hurt her, insult her, but I didn’t want to do any of those things to her. I hoped to have a life with her just the way we had those days I spent with her in Moscow. I’m an honest and sensitive person with a warm heart who only wanted to love her in dignity, honour and be a friend for her children. Now she pushes me away and every time I want to ask her a very normal question, so I also can start to look at the future, she’s annoyed and hurt me with her cold and ignoring behaviour. I don’t know anymore what to expect or what to do. She broke my spirit, my hopes and dreams, and I still don’t want to give up on her. I try to look for someone else but I can’t have the courage to start all over again. I have only these eyes for her! She is what I want for life and I don’t understand why she changed after what we had together. I’m lost in pain and I don’ t want to lose her. I want a life with her and would do everything for her happiness. What started as a dream, turned into a nightmare. Every day without her, I die al little inside. I wish that she would think about her own future, too. To me, she’s a wonderful person who suffered a lot in her former life.
Maybe I’m a fool, but I still hope that we will find our way one day and I do love her more than words can say. I only wanted to love her for the rest of my life! Fight for the future of her children and be a happy family. The distance is the most difficult problem that stands between us and the only thing I can do now is wait and hope. She has the key in her hand. I asked Elena’s website for help but they cannot help in this matter.
I love you Zara
Read also:
- Can I really meet someone? — The story of Simon and Tatsiana
- Success story of Marcus and Oksana (USA — Russia)
- Do these marriages last?
- More success stories from Elenas Models members
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It would be hard to say what you did or did not do but it does sound like this woman, and Russian women in general, need a man who knows how to act and behave like a real man. My friend, crudely put, you need to grow a pair of balls. Who will wear the pants? If you do not, she will. This is not the way of Russian women. There are enough weaklings in the world. Women need men who can be tender but they also require that you will be strong. God forgives but life does not. Man… Read more »
What do you want him to do Adrian? Treat her like a boss? An Islamic Master? They sure call the shots! That’s not a real man? Women want masculinity with tenderness! Not some control freak jock! It’s not like she didn’t know what Dave was like? They spent every day on skype …morning and night for months. There’s way more to this than what you think. I think there is some serious baggage issues with this lady. She could have been rebounding from another relationship and then backed off after she got her emotional security fix from this guy. It’s… Read more »
And you would be totally right if you were dealing with San Francisco feminists. Not true with Russian (or Latin) women.
Wow that was a heartbreaker. My friend this was an affair totally of the heart. And since it dealt with only the heart your heart has been left broken. There are other factors one must consider when finding a soul mate as chemistry and physical attraction have a flame which can burn strong but can also burn out. You mention she had a hard life, consider the mental health of a future mate, look for signs of mental illness. A hard life can also produce a hard heart, making her cruel and heartless when she is unhappy. Try to find… Read more »
In all my research on the web regarding eastern European culture, first of all I had to perform alot research to have some level of understanding of the society that exist in these countries. I had a feeling western lifestyle is a 360 compare to eastern Europe, especially in the past century with all the political war surrounding Russia and the type of leaders those countries had to grow up a in society of communist, yet more like ruled by a dictator. I could tell in my research and I been in correspondence with a woman on this site for… Read more »
Jose, if “western lifestyle is a 360 compare to eastern Europe” it would be exactly the same. 😉 And no, it’s not 180 degrees either. It’s very close with some minor differences, mostly concerned with the role of a woman in the structure of family and society. Modern conveniences and gadgets, travel destinations and fashion are the same. Point being, don’t worry about “culture” differences that much; think how women were treated in the U.S. in 1950-1960’s, this is the position Eastern European (Russian, Ukrainian) women are now socially. It’s a male-dominating society where women are taught to stay passive… Read more »
Tough break. Seems as if you definitely had good intentions, but as you said, sometimes things get lost in translation – after all our English is quite different from European English, in that it’s easy for words and phrases to have different meanings and interpretation. Hopefully things work out for you, but you also have to prepare yourself to move on. It won’t be easy either way.
Thanks for understanding. The story is not over yet, we still continue every day o Skype the same way we started. If all go’s well we will go on holiday together. I have to wait and give her time but i also know that time runs out one day. I am 43 and she is 46 so i don’t want to wait for ever. Life gave you the experience to see what’s really important and also go for it. To give up on her will be very hard but i know that i can’t wait forever!!
Thanks for understanding
Dave
Your right Elena, it’s not a 180 nor 360, but you bring up a good point in regards about society for women in eastern Europe being like it was in the 1950-1960s. I don’t know from experience how it was then I grew up in a time where feminism has already assimilated and being alongside to women in society feels no different than another male. I think a lot of men that are raised past the feminism movement, possessing a dominating mindset is uncommon in my opinion, because it’s easy for a woman to walk out of a relationship in… Read more »
Jose, well, you might have seen “The Help” and other movies about 1950’s. When a woman wouldn’t step out of the house without a proper makeup and hair, ladies were wearing high heels and dresses, and expected men to open doors and move chairs for them, pay in restaurants and bring home the pay check. Men were out working or back home having a dinner cooked for them and reading a paper/watching TV, while the lady of the house was taking care of kids and homework. That’s probably the ideal of many Russian/Ukrainian women today, although most girls work and… Read more »
Elena, it’s matter of being patient, persistence, and understanding your own and potential partner expectations. Thank you for your insight, very helpful. Yes, I agree I do appreciate having equal opportunity with women in society.
She is a single mum, and they are always on the defensive, she probably thinks you are ‘shoplifting the booty’ just keep reassuring her you are serious, and you are interested in becoming a father to her children, and eventually she will calm down.
I can sympathise with Dave’s position as I had something very similar happen to myself last year. I was also talking with a girl on Skype for about 4 months and then I went to Russia to see her. Everything went very well and she was keen to come and see me here in the UK. We made plans and got all the documentation together but when she eventually came over things just didn’t seem the same. She was a little distant towards me and a bit moody. I tried to ask her what was wrong but didn’t really get… Read more »
The problem I always afraid of is the language barrier. People from different countries have different mentality, education and relation to the life. And no matter how strong your love and passion are, you will face the problem of misunderstanding. I hope the love story will have happy and and that Dave and Zara will overcome this problem and will be together for the rest of there lives.
It’s funny or maybe ironic but when I clicked on this page the first thing I see is the photo of a woman on the right side of the page with whom I exchanged letters and now her profile is “suspended by administration” too bad because she had a great profile. I have thought deeply on this subject because I have lived it. I have been to Azerbaijan, Russia and Izhevsk {Udmurt republic} Never having been to Russia I tried to do research like Jose but it did not serve me well in the end. The first woman I met… Read more »
I corresponded with a Russian lady for many years, she was a teacher and seemed to have a very hard life, long working hours. We emailed each other once or twice a week and had planned to meet in Prague, I booked hotel and sent her some money for air fare. However I had to cancel last minute due to my mother’s declining health, she died a week later. But my lady went to Prague as it was all paid for. My health suffered a little after that and I didn’t hear from her for six month’s and then out… Read more »
You story sounds like there had been a true resonance between you two. But we all are programmed people and don’t leave by real feelings, but by the system of outer codes which make us not see our once ever partner even if they are really close. Your love might be influenced by envious friends or relates or simply by fear af being happy, or thousands of other stupid fears. If you are sure she’s your the only one, just get some patiece, give up everething, fly to Moscow, take her by the hand and look into her eyes. Our… Read more »
Dave, it was very brave of you to tell your story. I hope it ends well. I don’t think it’s finished. Sometimes we women have fears. I know men also have fears but women probably have more. Kids are very important to Russian women and maybe there is an issue with older children not wanting to leave. Life is complicated. But even love that doesn’t result in a long term relationships helps us feel happy and alive. I think you would not want for this love to never happen in your life.
You mustn’t be separated. When a person loves, there is no distance. My husband and I found each other in the Internet, met and fell in love. We couldn’t live without each other any more and we overcame long distance that separated us. Now we are very happy. I wish you the same.
Reading all those tender and sentimental descriptions, I still didn’t understand when exactly was the moment when the relationships went wrong? Dave’s departure back to America (or where he lives)? And what did he do to improve the situation? In any case, I wish them struggle for their happiness together.
Time is the only thing that can help in such situation. Any words will not help to understand what really happened. I think that you fall in love not with this girl, but with your dream, and this girl is not your destiny. You have open and kind heart and very soon love will live in it.
Hi Tatiana, i didn’t fall in love with my dream. I fall in love with her for the right reason! It has nothing to do with a dream but with feelings we felt from both sides. I’m going back to Moscow and i will look her back in her beautiful eyes,hold her hand and proof to her that my intentions are honest,senseer and true!!! I already booked a hotel in june and we will spent some more time!!! Reality is different than writing because the feelings from the heart is there to feel for real!! She’s a wonderful person with… Read more »
As so often happens in life, the key is to never give up and never let go. Be a real man and don’t give up on his love, no matter what.
A wonderful story, just like in a fairy tale. I think every beginning of love – a kind of a fairy tale. This is the first story of the beginning of the dialogue the two halves will remain in memory for a lifetime.
For me it was really interesting to read this. But I am kind of lost. I can not judge anybody. Because I can read only the men’s experience. I don’t have an opportunity to know what happened in reality. I don’t know her thoughts about it. Anyway I wish Dave to solve the problem. Or may be you Dave should forget her and that one who is your only one is waiting your somewhere nearby. The world is so big and we always have a chance to find what we need. Just be patient. This is my advice. Good luck… Read more »
Dave
You need to move on. And quickly. Right now is the best it will end et get. If it starts out this bad it will be a living he’ll in the future. Look around you have you ever seen a lo general term relationship start bad and get better?
I am sure there were other red flags but the issue of looking different when you met her should tell you something.
Plenty of beautiful women on this site. Give her a little silence and spend some time with other women then see what happens.