I became involved with the online dating industry in 1997, when I decided to broaden my horizons in search of my future partner, and listed my personal profile on several sites. I wasn’t ugly, or stupid, or undesirable — I simply couldn’t meet the right person through my circle of acquaintances and friends, and I had never been into clubs or bars. In 1998 I met my future husband, who happened to be a foreigner. In 1999 I launched my own international dating business online.
Now, in 2015, the website I started back in the last century has had more than 2 million profiles listed, and thousands of people met their partners. What’s more, thousands of people go online every day and talk to each other. This is international dating in action.
The rise of online dating sites
In 2000 I came across a quote from Wired magazine that said something along the lines: In future, online dating will become the preferred method of meeting people, just as library listing systems replaced wandering around bookshelves, and seeing Internet personals as something inappropriate will be the same as if we thought it was wrong to use library catalogues, because “the best books are only found by chance”.
Fast forward 15 years, and now most couples that I meet have connected online. Whether they are young or old, it’s so much easier to approach someone electronically than in real life.
The view that Internet dating is for losers has long been forgotten, although some people still don’t feel 100% comfortable announcing to the world it’s how they met.
Modern views on international dating
However, dating foreign women still gets a bad rap. Meeting local people online no longer has the stigma, but going outside national borders for some reason is still frown upon.
A male user of Elena’s Models said, “It is important to realize that American men have been told constantly that dating internationally is a bad thing and only for losers.”
The same notion is promoted through other western and Eastern European countries, portraying people, who look outside domestic boundaries, as desperate and undesirable. Interestingly enough, the same press gives wonderful accounts of travelling internationally, is excited about visiting global artists, and praises local talents who found worldwide acclaim.
So, what’s wrong with dating outside your own country?
Actually, nothing. It would be silly to suggest that people do not date when travelling, or that any relations are only valid if they are between people who were born on the same soil. Division by nationality when dating isn’t unlike discrimination in the workplace.
Foreign women vs. local women
If you are a single male, you may want to think about this:
- What are you looking for in a woman?
- What kind of woman do you really want, what does she look like, what are her interests, education, political views?
- Think of 4 women that you personally know who have what you want.
- How many of these 4 women are available?
- Out of these left, how many do you think you would have a chance with?
- How many are left?
If you are like most single men, the answer would be: None.
So, why wouldn’t you look outside and try things differently? Do not exclude online dating. There are countless people, who have been successful in finding someone special. Let’s be practical, direct, and honest about it: You do not know how you are going to meet your match. Meeting foreign women and finding out what they are like is a smart way of expanding your dating options. Eastern European women in general are educated, intelligent, and sophisticated (65% of people there have college or university degrees), but at the same time they are warm, playful, feminine, and down-to-earth. You may find it very attractive.
Don’t be like the naysayers 15 years ago, who insisted that meeting someone while drunk in a bar was preferable to emailing a person whose profile captivated you on a dating site. Get online now. You just told me what you want, and that you have no chance of getting it locally. So, join now, and find the right person FOR YOU.
Why dating online is better than bars
In online dating, everything is out there upfront. There is your picture, your height, your weight, what you like and what you dislike, what kind of partner you would like to meet. People accept you as you are. You cannot provide this amount of information upfront when you are in a bar or even at work.
If people talk to you, they are interested in you and don’t mind that you love restoring old cars with your own hands or that you are a vegetarian. In fact, they may find it attractive!
How many single women would you meet without online dating? Dozens, maybe hundreds. If you are looking for a partner for life, do you think that’s enough to find the right match? Do you believe that’s the ultimate commitment when you suggest that marriage is for life?
And then we are surprised that the divorce rate is 50%. Because your total pool of options is going through friends, work, or the local bar.
The fact that people are unfaithful in a marriage confirms the fact that they are unhappy. It’s not the Internet that causes the divorce rate, but the fact that we do not try and choose among millions of people to find the right match.
More options give you better chances to find your match
It seems reasonable to suggest that people have better chances of meeting someone compatible if more options are available to them.
There is nothing wrong with finding someone next door of at work. However, meeting someone online has just as much, if not better, chances of meeting a person who is truly compatible with you and holds the same values, allowing you to open your heart to possibilities and become really happy.
There is no extra value in finding someone in your circle as compared to meeting your one-and-only elsewhere. Put value in yourself and your effort, and commit to what you really want.
The reward comes from committing yourself to what you really want and what is available to anyone (finding, choosing, researching) — not just from taking what is on the table. That’s easy. How can it lead to success and satisfaction long term?
Like everything in life, you need to put an effort first. The proposition that online dating is in some way weird, embarrassing, inappropriate, or for losers, is ridiculous. A suggestion that you should take what you are offered is totalitarian. Who are you to tell me whom to choose and what my options are? It’s plainly obvious that values based upon “normal” way of meeting people don’t work any better than meeting people online.
Getting started is simple
Post your profile, watch likes when someone thinks your photos are nice, like their pics. See who looked at your profile, answer their mails. Send a free expression of interest and see if the woman you are interested in would like to get to know you.
Go through those steps and check the girls you really like. Go ahead and say, “Hi!”
How did it go?
- Can I really meet someone? — The story of Simon and Tatsiana
- International dating: How many women should I meet?
- Success story of Marcus and Oksana (USA — Russia)
- 5 Reasons I’m Not Contacting You — Dating Tips for Women (by an American Man)
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