One frequent complaint of men who are dating Russian and Ukrainian girls online is that women are “fickle”. When you start finding out what these guys mean, it’s about ladies cutting off communication without any obvious (to the men) reason. In other words, girls disappear without a notice. So, what is going on?
(Of course, we are talking about legitimate Russian dating sites as opposed to PPL—pay per letter—setups.)
Reasons why girls disappear without a notice on dating sites
The reason why girls on dating websites sometimes disappear without an apparent to you reason is the same why women don’t answer.
- It happens because the woman has realized that you are not the type of man she is looking for.
And what is the purpose of any person on dating sites? Find a suitable partner. If she figured out that you are not The One, in her view, there is no need to spend time on polite chit-chat and explanations.
Russians are direct and candid
In fact, they are so straightforward that western people sometimes take it as rudeness. But they are not rude; they simply follow a different protocol of polite communication than the one you are accustomed to. In their culture, it’s not impolite to tell a person, “Look, I am bored,” and leave. Rather, it’s considered being sincere. Sure, it’s not pleasant to the person who is left behind, but at least they know where they stand.
Being “insincere” is one of the 10 things that drive Russians crazy in America.
Russians complain that Americans are at fault for being too nice in your face and then saying bad things behind your back or not delivering on promises to meet or get together. If a Russian person offers to help or invites you’ve to meet some time later, they mean it; when Americans are doing it, it could be just politeness and they never planned to follow through with it.
So, when a Slavic girl disappears without a notice, it means that she simply doesn’t want to talk to you anymore and doesn’t wish to spend her time explaining why.
You are welcome to try and find out (if she has not blocked you yet — for the same reason, she doesn’t want to waste her time), but it probably won’t make it any better to know what was the reason.
However, you can probably track it back to potential causes, if you so desire.
Here are some possible triggers for such actions.
Top-10 reasons why girls may block you
These reasons are listed in no particular order, but if you do any of these things, chances are, women will get “fickle” and change their minds about wanting to date you.
1. Dick pics
There is probably no female who tried online dating who didn’t get these. Even young girls using Snapchat complain of this offence. If you want women to block you in an instant, send photos of your genitals. It’s a proven way to get blocked without explanations. (And yes, we get such complaints from ladies all the time. It’s a real problem in online dating.)
2. Requesting a woman to travel to you on her own account
There are guys who have the audacity to tell a woman to buy her own ticket and travel to see him (in another country!), if she wants to be taken seriously. In other words, a girl writes to a guy and he responds, “To prove that you are serious, buy a ticket and visit me.” No, thanks—and a block.
3. Wanting to correspond for months or years
Some guys believe that to establish a relationship they need to correspond for years or at least for many months. Truth is, you need to meet in person to find out if there is mutual chemistry, this is a necessity, and corresponding for years is nothing but building unrealistic expectations. It’s PPL sites that sing you different songs, but they only do it to extract money for communication from you. Real successful couples chat on Skype for hours daily and meet within weeks. This is what works in international dating and serious women have no time to entertain males who think otherwise.
4. Saying something rude about her country
Anything that is even remotely negative (or can be considered as such), even a question, can be taken as a personal offence (or stupidity). For instance, I often get questions from girls on the Russian blog about poisonous creatures that are apparently abundant in Australia, as well as “the skin cancer epidemics due to the ozone hole”. At first I was answering with facts and statistics and now I am just getting annoyed by such ignorance. How hard is it to do your own research or simply watch some videos of news, which are available on YouTube? So, now I am pretty sarcastic to people who ask such questions. To me, they are lazy and not very smart. Russian girls can view your questions or opinions, based on popular myths about Russia, the same way.
5. Not wanting kids (or wanting kids)
This is a very straightforward requirement, and most girls are pretty set one way or the other about wanting or not wanting children in their future marriage. If you contact a girl and then tell her something that contradicts her online profile in this regard, she feels you were wasting her time and do not deserve an explanation. If she wants kids, you should want them, too. In case she doesn’t want kids, she only seeks a man who has the same views.
6. Not meeting her requirements stated in the profile
The same is applicable to her other requirements. Read women’s profiles carefully, all the fields: interests, message, requirements to a partner, how she wants to meet, and so on. If you are talking, she assumes you have read it and agree with it. If you say something that opposes it, she feels betrayed.
7. Admitting you lied in your profile
Some guys lie about their age or other things (like stating he is divorced when he is separated), and then admit their lies to women, expecting them to continue communication as if nothing happened. Most often, she will be extremely unhappy you have lied to her and wouldn’t not want to hear from you ever again.
8. Dropping a bombshell
You may have not included it in your profile, but there is something that you said in your last mail or chat, which was a bombshell for her. For instance, you may have said your income is only so low or that you are on a disability pension. Sure, you want to be clear with a potential mate and wish them to accept you for who you are, if this so, that particular lady seeks something different. That’s all.
9. Asking her for a nude pic
Some guys think it’s okay to ask a woman to send her picture in a swimsuit — or without it. Well, girls think that you are “not serious” and instantly blacklist you as a “sex tourist”. They are looking “to create a family” and they think you only should be asking her to set a wedding date. (This is only partially a joke.) If you want to be taken seriously, resist the temptation to ask for pictures without clothes. It does position you as someone who is only after one thing. (Keep hoping she might send you one out of her own will…)
10. Writing something she doesn’t know what to answer to
It could be she just doesn’t feel your last mail or letter requires an answer. You are expecting her to write and she expects you to write. In a few days, she may decide you are no longer interested and block you, simply because she liked you and she is upset!
Yes, you may think it’s illogical, but for women, they care and get their hopes high, and in a few days that you were “too busy” she thought about all the worst things, including your being hit by a car or smashed by tornado, and now that she discovered you logged in to the site yesterday and didn’t write to her, she is confident that you have found someone else, so she needs to dump you first to avoid the humiliation of being dumped.
If you think it’s irrational, Russian women have an answer for you: At least, women have women’s logic, while men have no logic at all!
So, if you care about her, don’t stop writing yourself, even for a day. She may think so many things in one day, you have no idea. It’s not crazy, it’s feminine. We are emotional creatures. This is why you love us.
- 12 tricks to get women’s responses
- Tips how to engage women when dating online
- How to write to a woman on a dating site
- Why women don’t answer?
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