Dating with a large age difference. Older man, younger woman.

Dating with a large age difference. Older man, younger woman.Dating with a large age difference remains a hot topic for users of our site. Here is an opinion of a man who thinks that age difference is no problem.

Dating with a large age difference: “I have dated attractive women 25 years younger than me”

By ARealMan

I’m 55 and have dated attractive women 25 years younger than me locally.

It’s not because of my wallet. I’m a decent guy, in good shape, and I know how to focus on the other person and if I think they are special and love them, I truly make them feel it. No games other than the natural attraction cycle and love.

I have been married and at a very young age and later divorced. I have 4 children who are all adults.

Were my adult daughters bothered that I had girlfriends close to their age? Not at all, because they know that I am not an old geezer with bladder control issues.

People in my family live to be 100 years old quite often. I don’t feel old, look old or have degenerative medical issues. I don’t have problems getting it up. I will bet that I can out cycle and out run you by miles.

The idea that it’s perverted for me to have consensual sex with someone 25 years younger than me? There can definitely be challenges… social acceptance by the younger person’s family and social circle can weigh heavily.

But when my daughters dated guys older than them, my main concern wasn’t their age, it was if they were a jerk! And without question, the biggest Jerks were those younger guys who felt they were universally powerful and immortal, lacking compassion and respect.

Another thing is culture and intelligence. When I was young I had friends who were much older than me, because I quickly outgrew peers my own age. Being highly intelligent and knowledgeable at a young age makes you seem rather nerdy to people who are average. So in High school I hung out with people who were working on graduate degrees or doing post-graduate work or older. After being married and then single again, I find that highly intelligent and attractive young women tend to feel the same way… guys their age are like children (or dogs humping their leg). They crave the intellectual stimulation of someone more experienced and/or intelligent.

As a piece of wisdom, I have found that a key reason why people break up is BOREDOM. And if you can’t excite a woman with your personality and looks, then you better at least have money.

What does she have to excite a man? Well it’s a bit obvious the world over that men like looking at attractive women, much more than women like looking at men. But that does only go so far, and only lasts so long.

So for me personally, it’s very important that she has a great personality, is intelligent, and genuinely is excited about who I am, as much as I am excited about her. A sustained thriving marriage depends on that.

I have a pair of relatives who are going into their 90’s and are still madly in love. Some people take care of their body, their mind and have great genetics, so stereotyping serves no purpose.

Finally, I can see how the 8 year average [age difference in a marriage] makes sense for average people. I have met many people who look 10 to 20 years older than their age and some who look more than 20 younger than their age. That is one hell of a span.

So I would modify that formula a bit.

If someone truly looks and behaves 10 years younger, then you can add those 10 years to the 8 for 18.

But if someone looks and acts 10 years older than their age, then they should stick with their own age.

The most amazing case I’ve seen was a Vegan woman who was 80 and she didn’t even look 50. Hormones play a heavier role for women than men.

An even more powerful fact than Elena’s 8 year stat, is that Women’s child bearing years are pretty much between the ages of 14 and 50. U.S. stats are showing that most women are waiting longer to have children forcing it up to 25 to 40. Yes, that’s because after 40 the risks to mother and child go up quite a bit. That doesn’t mean that a really healthy 50-year woman can’t have a child, it just means there aren’t many of them.

So, if a man at any age wants to marry and have children, the woman really pretty much needs to be in that age range of 25 to 40. His age is less relevant. And Nature has made it this way. After 50, women lose much of that sex appeal or find it incredibly difficult to maintain, and spend phenomenal amounts of money trying to maintain it artificially.

So the fact of the matter is that a man who is 30 and wants to marry and have children vs. a man who is 50 or 60 for that matter… are all going for the same 25 to 40 year olds. If they don’t want to create their own children with a woman then that’s another story.

Similarly in Elena’s article on the top 9 things Russian women want in a man, it shows #4 on the list that they fear as they age they will be left for a younger woman (why?? because those younger women are in that child-bearing zone where appear most attractive). A younger woman marrying a more mature man is far less likely to face that situation than if she marries some hot shot her own age. Divorce statistics around the world show that is reality.

It’s NATURE that causes men of all ages to be attracted to women of child-bearing age, not perversion. The real perversion is trying to pretend that’s not the truth, and insult people because of their age.

Featured photo: stock image

7 tips for dating younger womenRead also:

Share this articleFacebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

Leave a Reply

Leave Comment
Notify of
avatar
Анастасия
Guest

For me it sounds extremely funny when man 45+ is looking for woman 20-25 years younger..at the same time saying that man feels like 25 years old boy…what about woman 45+? do you think that they feel like 45 ? they feel like young 18 years old girls! everyone has right to look exactly she/he wants. there shouldn’t be any prejudices.

Sorin
Guest
I think that there is a relevant point to saying that you feel 20 years younger than your biological age, and I’m not talking mostly about physical health. There is a major difference between the mindset of a 25 year old and a 45 year old, in most cases. They are focused on different things… the 25 year old is looking out at the world and trying to learn more about it, and the 45 year old is looking at his/her family, house, career, etc, and trying to improve it. Different goals create different viewpoints. However, this is only a… Read more »
Kerry
Guest

Large age differences are not the norm but rather the exception. Look through many dating sites and you will see the younger women prefer someone closer to their age. I’m a decent looking guy and I don’t have women 25 years younger continually sending me EOI’s. Look at the age preferences of the 25 to 35 year old women on this site. You will be hard pressed to find a few who have 25 year age differences listed in their profiles.

Neo Griffin
Guest
You Sir sound like an arrogant egomaniac. The most humble men I’ve met have been the most competent, whilst you Sir are far from humble. But then again, I only read several chapters of your bragging… perhaps you showed humility towards the end, but I just couldn’t read any more of your nonsense. You say you can run better than any one; how are you going to defend your lady by running away? Real men stand thier ground and fight, real men don’t blow thier own trumpet. You sound like you’re having a mid life crisis, like you failed at… Read more »
Elena
Admin

Neo,
About this point… “imagine ageing to 75 years old and your poor wife being only 50, that just wouldn’t work” – I see one such family on TV nearly every day, last time on the balcony of the White House watching sun eclipse. Apparently, for some people it does work.

Neo Griffin
Guest

You say White House, I think Power and Money, you’re only proving my point ; )

Elena
Admin

Neo,
I am not arguing with you 🙂
There are plenty of famous couples with a large age gap: Bruce Willis, Michael Douglas, Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, the list goes on. And obviously, plenty of couples that you don’t know about, because they are not famous. The author is actually right, there are highly intelligent young women who find men of their age silly. These women do enjoy the company of a mature companion.
See also: How to marry a woman 25 years younger

Neo Griffin
Guest

Again. .. all old men with money.
I think you’re in danger of turning this into a Sugar Daddy website. In that case I think it’s time I deleted my account.
You will forgive me but I still believe in love, for better or worse.

Elena
Admin

Neo, can you even read? My view is spelled clearly in articles about age difference in couples. In short, I do not believe marriages with a large age gap have a good chance to last. But if this is what you want (I mean any guy, not you in particular), you have full right to do it. And take any consequences that come with that choice.
The same as you: You say you are looking for love, you have full right to seek what you want. Everyone has the right to seek what they want. That’s the point.

Robert
Guest
the discussion Hello Elena I laugh when I read notes from guys like Neo because its obvious that he has made up his mind for whatever reason and does not even pay attention to the facts. I think your husband is lucky to have such a straight forward woman as yourself and I appreciate your directness in your responses and articles. I agree that the guy who wrote the article is a bit arrogant but so what, he makes some valid points. As a man who is also 55 I understand much of this and I have received letters from… Read more »
Elena
Admin

Robert,
I believe that staff reductions in USA consulates in Russia will not significantly affect processing of immigrant visas (such as fiancée visas). Besides, you can file for a visa in any country, including Ukraine or Poland, USA authorities confirmed.
See the current waiting times here.

ZoyaV
Guest
A contingent of women will not change (I see a slice of Russian society in the age of the girls in the search). Will have the opportunity to take some sweet grandfather a higher cost-the older, the greater the fee for the sweetness))))). we need to keep the 25-year-old, at least, not gone and not even answered! Griffin don’t go – you’re interesting. I also read on the forum: 45 years of no use. No success((((( if I write 63-65 even years: they say you’re crazy: very young. But if I write in 55 years: they don’t answer or run… Read more »
Elena
Admin

ZoyaV,
Fake brides on PPL sites generate HUNDREDS of chat invitations and mails DAILY. Non-personalized interest on foreign dating sites became a commodity. Men don’t see EOIs as special, if your photo/video didn’t impress them in an instant. Writing a personalized email based on his profile text could be useful, if he could understand your English (the message above is rather cryptic, hard to figure out what you are trying to say). So, good photos and good English may be 2 points to work on (since you cannot change your age 🙂 )

ZoyaV
Guest

Thank you! But I try in English, when I write for men)) fix Yandex-translator at my sole discretion. Need spoken language and its level. Photos need to do something to admit it. They 2016 and outdated. Even fashion different))

Ryan
Guest
So love can only exist between people of the same age. You are enforcing your own cultural bias on everyone else then judging people for it. A lot of Slavic women like older men, they seem more stable and ready to settle down. 50 years ago, people in their 20’s looked to settle down and have a family. Now there is a consensus of living for yourself into your 20’s and even 30’s. This is not the case in Eastern Europe. My girlfriend and I have a 15 year age gap. We never think of it unless someone brings it… Read more »
ZoyaV
Guest
15 years max for me, but acceptable. 10-12 is highly desirable. My Italian friend 7 years communication for 13.5 years. The communication with him was unforgettable. But!! at first he was also like a butterfly: women……. continue to strive for the ideal, and so on. And I have 7 years ago teenage kids. In Russia men do not pay maintenance, will evade and is not caught. Thus, the entire material burden on me and my mom((((. He thought. that alone, without any problems wiht English French Italian and other secured lady. Then returns. Talked about his novels – he has… Read more »
Ryan
Guest
The point is, it is not about the age difference but the connection. It doesn’t matter if people are the same age, 5 years, 15, 30. It is the connection between two people that matters. So many people the same age do not last, with such a high divorce rate people should stop limiting themselves. Every one wants to catergorize and say this age difference or that difference will not work. Yet there are examples of those differences working. What matters is if two people have a healthy relationship and if they work well together. That is the real thing… Read more »
ZoyaV
Guest
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsiAmNzrhzg Natalia Falcon is a very famous blogger and she lives in America for 20 years. She was from a small Russian town Rybinsk and her husband was an alcoholic. She got married in USA almost 20 years ago. Meaning: it’s a party with familiar Russian wives and their American husbands. So you can see the quality of Russian wives: someone took a young model (gorgeous blonde 190 growth), someone married for a long time and they have normal female 50 years. You can still see the basic principle of Russian women from birth: they know how to look good… Read more »
Neo
Guest
Hello ZoyaV. You make many good points )) sadly I cannot understand them all because some of them are lost in translation. I especially liked your terrifying point of 30 year old men tailor making wives genetically with science, I have no doubt there are men out there whom think like that. I also have no doubt there are many young women out there willing to sell them selves into marriage with much older men for money. I worry about the future of humanity. I don’t remember where I read the following, but I agree; ‘When family breaks down, Society… Read more »
Elena
Admin
Neo, Too many conspiracy theories 🙂 Thanks for the compliment about my abilities to write in English as a native speaker would, but I can’t take credit 🙂 The author posted the comment to the article “show me the marriage certificate” (link on top of the page). No, I don’t suggest you are illiterate, you just seem to lack attention to detail. I simply re-posted the comment here as I knew it would cause controversy and discussion, this topic always does (I also posted it translated to Russian for women). No, I am not advocating large age differences, you may… Read more »
Neo Griffin
Guest
So you’re retracting your comment from when you called me illiterate but now you’re calling me a jerk…. Because I suggested some people sell thier bodies and that we should guide them and not exploit them. Not very Lady like my dear, surely you can host a debate with out resorting to insults. Do you expect me to believe that you honestly don’t believe there are prostitutes in this world as well as young girls whom use their body to marry into money. .. Which is essentially the same thing. I’m not suggesting that this is what all women do.… Read more »
Elena
Admin

Neo,
You like rephrasing words the way it suits you. “Can you read” does not equal “illiterate”. “Don’t be a jerk” doesn’t equal “you are a jerk”. “Insult” is to suggest women on this site are “selling themselves”, and yes, I take it personally in this case. I married a foreign man myself, and anyone arrogant enough to suggest that Russian women seeking a partner are “selling themselves” will get it back properly.

Neo Griffin
Guest

Thank you for your comment Ryan, but 15 years age difference is a lot different to 25 years. 25 years age gap and an egotistical attitude was what I was arguing against.
I’m glad you and your girlfriend are happy together. …. but if this is the case. … why are you on this site hmmm?

Elena
Admin

Neo,
People read weekly newsletters and blog articles long after they stopped dating on the site. We have lots of married women (to Russian guys by the way) reading the Russian blog, simply because they enjoy the content. Anyone can read it 🙂 it’s not exclusively for singles.

Kerry
Guest
Hi Elena. My daughter was married when she was 19 to a guy 14 years older. She is now 25 and they are really happy and content together. He treats her very good. I remember some of the young guys she was interested in and even dated before she met her husband and I was seriously concerned. I’m so thankful she met her husband. Granted there is a big difference between 14 years and 25 years. I stand a much better chance having a long term opportunity with a lady who is 41 than one who is 29.
Bruce
Guest

You, sir sound just like the guy you are berating

Neo Griffin
Guest

Do I really?
I guess it’s because I am overly protective. I see these young beautiful girls and dont like to think of them being exploited… It is my nature. . I also rescue injured wild animals with the same enthusiasm.
But as Elina says it is thier choice… Doesn’t mean we should encourage it.

Brendon
Guest

So the article from what I understand is
1. Written by “ARealMan”
2. Who is 55 years old
3. Dates women 25 years younger
4. Is likely to live to 100
5. Does not have perverted sex
6.His daughters all approve
7.Understands the intelligence and sociology of young women
8.Knows how female hormones control potentially a woman’s looks and reproductive systems
9. Highlights the economic impact to a woman’s maintenance needs after 50
10.However, points out nature is to blame for potential large age gap differences

Sounds familiar, boy in a man’s body.

Sorin
Guest
Just as a note… boys have more fun than boring old men. If you’re a 30 year old lady, would you prefer to date a 50 year old who is a boy in spirit and enthusiasm, or a 40 year old who is mature and sensible… and also boring and stodgy? So, given that question, while there are some problems with a “boy in a man’s body”, there are also some advantages. Short version: there are many types of tea in the world. What is not your cup of tea may suit someone else. Knocking it because it’s not your… Read more »
Elena
Admin

Sorin,
About a 30-year-old lady, she definitely doesn’t want to date a “boy” (they get hit on by 20-something guys constantly). But that’s not what women on our site seek: They want a HUSBAND and a FAMILY. So, they seek someone who is reliable and secure. They are sick and tired of “exciting” (nerve wrecking), they want stability 😉 And they don’t want to “date”, they want to get married. Quickly.
45+ ladies, they may be into exciting again. But not women 25-35.

Sorin
Guest
Oh, I understand that the ladies here are serious and looking for serious men who are not just looking for fun and games in the dating scene. My point was that a man can be serious in terms of taking care of business, family, and life in general, and have a young man’s enthusiasm for what he does, learning new things, etcetera. Or, he can just be serious. Frankly, those who are older in mentality and set in their ways are more problematic as a potential husband, as they may not be as willing to handle the differences in dating,… Read more »
Elena
Admin
Sorin, I am not trying to convince you what is right or helpful for immigration to another country or even for a marriage to succeed. I am just saying what the facts are. Young women crave stability. They would very much prefer a safe and boring man who is stable and doesn’t make her nervous, than a guy who seems too outgoing and boyish. (They already struggle to understand why a good foreign man would look for a wife elsewhere.) Sure, if there is a large age difference between available suitors, than they start comparing options by other criteria. But… Read more »
ZoyaV
Guest
1 point (despite my English): Russia has become in the “information act” record of conversation, content, Email, the Internet and information storage for 3 years! The state does not subsidize the technical equipment. The cost to take operators. They will raise fees for Internet traffic. Traffic outside of Russia will be very expensive, inside – cheap. Social networks and communication social is very cheap. Here no 1 Russian woman can not pay owl an Internet connection with a foreign bride and women will not even be on the website. The predictability of men – the most important thing. We live… Read more »
Elena
Admin

ZoyaV,
Very hard to designer the meaning! 🙂
But I understand your point is that it’s important for a man to be reliable, including reliability of communication.

ZoyaV
Guest
I can write in Russian, but to divide the discussion. let the Curve English)). It is better to have a serious friend!! He even explains why not to get married. Let me explain why not going. A serious candidate who explains that he is looking for, even if it’s not me. As well said your a real man of 55 years: able to focus on the woman. That is, to respect, to be important and explain why? Fluttering butterflies and even if he arrives early, and who can not gradation of his harem and has no time to respond or… Read more »
ZoyaV
Guest
Ted lecture by Barry Schwartz “Paradox of freedom of choice”: the more choice, the more unhappy, because it seems that was not very good and maybe even better (Barry was the chosen jeans of his youth 1 of 2, but now he can’t rest because there’s still a lot of jeans that he bought and could buy better!!)))). ( in Dating, the lack of attention on those you found…keep looking better and better)) younger and younger…waiting for a new wave of women, perhaps it will be even more beautiful and young and docile and a bit to eat (Thumbelina, Andersen)).… Read more »
fermar
Guest

It simply is not true that men older than 50 (even 45) can have children without issues increased risk of health issues for the baby. See, for example, http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20140226/are-kids-born-to-older-dads-at-risk-for-mental-health-woes

PaulM
Guest
Great article and right on the money. I know a lot of women who are either dating or married to much older men. Virtually all of these women are very well educated and very intelligent and very self assured. And could care less about peer pressure. They said that older guys are more stable, reliable and much more attentive to their wants an needs. None of the macho bullshit insecurities of the majority (not all mind you) of guys their own age. They enjoy the stable consistency (behaviorally) of older guys. A couple did tell me that they would like… Read more »
ZoyaV
Guest
According to logic, that what if the guy is 25 years old, he may reserve not yet born girl (and even to plan the rest of her genetics – the science can))), so that in the future she was younger than him by 30 years!! 30-year-old boy more lucky!! he may take a girl for 2-3 months in wives!! Such is the logic of the article. The men hope that it is the exception to the rule and it is this perversion will be happy. But site stats is only 8 years old. And respect women, in spite of Your… Read more »
wpDiscuz