ask-women-to-meet-on-skypeSometimes we get complaints from men about women. This time a guy complained about a woman that she “wasn’t real” and when asked for details, said we should read his emails on the site. So we did.

What happened, being a Gold member, he didn’t have access to video chat on Elenas Models site (accessible for free for Platinum and Ultimate members), so he demanded from this lady to meet him on Skype. When she didn’t react, he sent another email saying he wasn’t going to continue the communication and would assume she wasn’t a real person unless she met him on Skype, and that he needed to make sure she looked like her photos, because the photographs were professionally done. After which she basically told him to get lost, and he decided to report her as a scammer.

How NOT to ask women to meet

Email conflicts can escalate very quickly. When you don’t see another person and their reactions to your words, people tend to be much more hurtful than they are in real life. Think Facebook trolls. Who would be that daring if they were facing the person they were abusing? Not too many people, that’s for sure.

ask-women-to-meet-on-skype-3In this conflict, it was plainly obvious that the way the guy asked for a webcam meeting was too pushy and offended the woman, and he didn’t even realize it.

We phoned the lady and talked to her. A lovely lady in her 40’s, she was the first to mention the problem she had with one man on our dating site who accused that her profile was fake.

Guys, there are many ways to express the same thing! 😉

You can be nice and pleasant, or you can be obnoxious and pushy. There is a completely different feeling to these 2 phrases:

  • I feel we have so much in common, I am so much looking forward to talking to you on Skype!
  • I need you to meet me on Skype, so I can be sure you look like your photos.

The first one will be met with delight, and the second one with disdain.

Just remember: any phrases implying that you are unsure of her sincerity will always have a bad effect on a real relationship. How would you feel if she told you, “I need a proof that you are a real person. Show me your face on webcam, or I am reporting you as a fraud.”

Not very nice, right? The most offensive part is that a person you were having feelings for thinks you can be potentially a scam artist. And what does it say about this individual? They aren’t very confident and secure, and, probably, have a lot of baggage.

Accusations in scamming

ask-women-to-meet-on-skype-4It’s pointless to accuse girls in being potential scammers, or even suggest that she may not be 100% sincere. Scammers will assure you they are genuine, but honest women will be offended, and most likely refuse to talk to you again.

From time to time we get emails from crazy guys who accuse us, Elenas Models as a business, in scamming. Do you think we spend time on trying to convince these guys we are not running a scam? Of course, not! We simply offer them a full refund, or, if they are not paying members, suspend their profiles, so that they would never be able to join again.

Why?

People with an attitude problem like this will always have trouble, suspecting every woman that she has a hidden agenda. Which means, they are going to be taking time of our staff complaining to Help Desk, and, probably, abusing women as well, which is going to turn into custard very quickly.

And then we have 10-15 women dropping off the site, because they felt offended and do not want to continue using Elenas Models. These 10 women may tell their friends not to use the site as well, so the problem snowballs. And, anyway, suspicious people have very little chance to establish a genuine relationship, because trust is the very foundation on which rapport is built.

Dating online and in real life

Please realize that dating women from Russia and Ukraine online is very much the same like meeting girls from your own country. If you were to talk to a lady in another city in your country, think how would you go about suggesting to meet on Skype or in person.

ask-women-to-meet-on-skype-2Surely you would not be telling her she needs to show her face, or you’d think she is a scam artist? So, don’t do it here either.

Before asking people to do something, think what’s the best way to go about it. Even if you live in the same city, not every female will be happy to jump on Skype right away, or meet you in a local bar tomorrow. Some may be content to do it while others may need more time to get to know you.

Your suggestion to meet on webcam should come as something she would be looking forward to, not an exam: do you look like your photos on the site?

  • Surely, if you were getting married, you would want your bride to have a nice dress, hair and make-up, and hire a professional photographer to take pictures? Or would you just take a couple of selfies, and put them on your wall to remember that day?
  • If you were going for a job interview, would you dress nicely, shave and comb your hair, or put on the worst clothes you have in your wardrobe?

The same is applicable to first introductions. People, especially women, tend to put their best foot forward, and look their finest. It doesn’t mean they are trying to deceive you. The famous model Cindy Crawford once said, “Even I don’t look like Cindy Crawford when I wake up in the morning”. Which Cindy Crawford is real, the one we remember from magazine covers, or the one that wakes up in the morning?

Marilyn Monroe was famous for washing off her makeup, and going for a walk in the streets, incognito. She was delighted people would not recognize her without the usual hairdo, mascara, and lipstick. Was she lying to all of us, making herself look better for the movies?

The best way to ask women to meet on webcam

Making women anxious about meeting you on camera adds to the normal anxiousness of any first date. You should be trying to calm her down and be looking forward to it, rather than announcing it’s a test.

  • Tell her you’d love to see her when she is ready to meet you on camera, and ask if she has a Skype account. She will usually tell you if she has one.
  • If she does, give her your Skype name and tell her what hours and days of the week would be convenient for you to meet. Check for the time difference between your locations, and tell her what time it’s in her city.
  • Ask her to let you know when she can meet you but also tell her you will wait until she is ready. It’s nice to see a man who is considerate and sensitive to her feelings.

ask-women-to-meet-on-skype-1It’s a big thing for women to agree to meet on webcam. You only think that you need to make sure she is a real person, but for her it’s a worry:

  • How will you be able to communicate, because her English isn’t perfect?
  • What should she say?
  • What should she wear?
  • What to do if she doesn’t understand what you are saying?
  • Is the date marked as a “lucky day” in her horoscope? (I know you may not believe in these things but many women do, even if they are highly educated.)

Ladies feel that it’s a chance at a real relationship and they don’t want to screw it up. It’s “the first date”, and she wants it to be special. Be a gentleman, and she will be happy to become your fair lady.

 

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Richard
Guest

It Seems we need a map and a set of instructions on how to date a lady online! I hope I just get lucky and meet someone sweet and kind looking for the same things as me.

Michael
Guest

you don´t need a map. you should just be as polite to the lady, as you wish she is to you

Mark
Guest
I think the man’s reaction is most likely due to his experience on other sites and things that he has read. There are sites where I am pretty sure have a large percentage of women who are scammers or scammers using innocent victims photos. I have also been writing to a lady on another site where her photos are professionally done and then saw her candid picture. Does not even look like the same person. 🙂 I think enough experiences like that and your guard is up very hight. I personally would never take his approach and since EM is… Read more »
jul
Guest
I had few times situations when men before even I was able to respond on skype, alredy were saying “show me on video, otherwise you can be a scammer”. That was so rude! I had no problems in fact and did, but sometimes camera was running late or it was a delay, so I could hear and see but my cam took extra few seconds. Also there are some men having problems to show on skype or to call even though skype is free. For me it is important to be able to talk and to see the person… I… Read more »
Tim Kaylor
Guest
I have been on Em for long time. found many nice ladies just not the one to marry yet. There are scammers everywhere in the world, But Em stops them from being a problem. in fact the only 2 scammers I meet on EM… Elena stopped me from being taken and she spotted them before I was sure of it and quickly banned them. Meeting on Skype is a great way to learn each other better and the correct way to ask is in a polite way. having learned sometimes the hard way and after reading some of Elenas books… Read more »
jul
Guest

How to deal with a man if he keeps delaying a skype conversation? There are many of those on EM website as well!

Kim Nguyen
Guest

Very informational article, thank you! I tried the service a couple of years ago with no result ( probably because I am old ( 55 now ) and Asian, I now will try again to see if anything coming out of it!

Joe Norman
Guest
I have met scammers on other sites but they were not site with a good reputation. EM seems to be much better than most other sites and I like that it is not the kind that charges per message etc. I believe my chances are much better here to meet the woman of my dreams and I plan to always give them time to feel comfortable with anything like choosing to meet on Skype. Things like that are pretty big steps to take and no one should rush into anything. We need to really get to know each other and… Read more »
Dean
Guest

Many say that they don’t have skype or whatsapp. Are there people these days who don’t use smart phones or these application?

TDs
Guest

Very interesting article , helpful in my situation.

dar
Guest

It comes down to common sense. Be polite. Treat people with respect.

Rob Fitterman
Guest
My main problem is the genuine lack of real women that have contacted me over the years. All of them have done the same scammer tricks and patterns. When I am unsure I politely ask them to either Skype or use Yahoo messenger. I frequently check photos on Google Images to find that they had stolen a model’s picture or vid. After just a few chats or emails, they act like I am the love of their life, or ask me for a serious amount of money to prevent them from starving. I very rarely suggest that they are scamming… Read more »
Anthony
Guest
This is a great topic. In every walk of life, the strong will always try and take advantage of the weak. So scammers are no different in this respect. They are trying to take advantage of a persons genuine hopes and dreams. Emotional blackmail if you like. But scammers will always blow their cover eventually. The simple way to deal with them has already been mentioned on this site. NEVER send money to someone that you have never met. If you ever get such a request, end all communication immediately. There are plenty of real people on this site, so… Read more »
Natalya_wr
Guest

I think, first of all, men shouldn’t be afraid to write or call at all. Just try to send a message first, polite and with respect, to calm down your friend. The only way is to try it by yourself, don’t wait for anything or anybody. Think that woman is also shy, afraid and have a lot of different worries.

Aleksandra
Guest
A woman treats Skype contacts a bit different, than a man, i think. Its like a first date, when you need to impress a person, and when it comes to a sudden offer to have a video contact, somewhen in the evening, after a long working day or with some random people aside, none of us would be ready for a sudden video meeting. Its much better just to arrange time and day, when both would be eager to communicate comfortly, without any disturbings. And, to be honest, girls need a bit more time to prepare themselves, than guys do… Read more »
Jeff
Guest
I have a question, as I’m new to EM and have not yet contacted any ladies here, so I may be jumping the gun a bit. While I understand Skype, what options are available for Email and/or Live Chat that offer adequate translation? One of my reasons for this is that I write stories and poetry, and while that is no replacement for face-to-face contact, it goes a long way in communicating feelings without overdoing things, and allows ladies to read at their leisure. Even American women I’ve dated in the past enjoyed it (when it’s not overdone, of course),… Read more »
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