Men join dating sites to get women’s responses, connect and hopefully establish a relationship in real life. These tips will help you get more answers from ladies to your messages and requests. After 15 years of working in the dating industry, here are my top 12 tricks to get women’s responses. Every trick will assist, and using all of them in your profile and communication can significantly increase your response rates. When we asked women why they don’t answer men’s letters, their responses gave us a lot of insight into their likes and dislikes. Some factors may seem odd but knowing them will assist you in navigating the exciting ocean of online dating.
1. Get great photos
In dating online, everything starts with a photo! Your initial responses depend 95% on pictures in your online dating profile. Ladies want to see your face and eyes, and consider blurry, poor quality photos as a sign of disrespect. If you really wish to meet great women, ask a friend to take nice photos of you. Make them outdoors and dress neatly. T-shirts, shorts, cargo pants, sneakers, and baseball caps make you look too casual. A white collared shirt and long pants or jeans, maybe a jacket or a tie, smart casual style, will make you look more appealing. Beautiful nature, sea or blooming flowers on the background will “rub off”, making the picture more energetic and happy. A genuine, happy smile in all your photos, complemented by a stylish outfit, will increase your responses by about 50%.
2. Write a fun profile
The next thing after the pictures is your profile. Girls complain that men’s profiles are mostly the same. An interesting, positive story will produce great results and get lots of women’s responses. Be true to who you are. Don’t say that you love symphony if you cannot stand classical music. Include your real interests and hobbies, what you love doing for fun, preferably something beyond watching TV with a can of beer. Anything active and exciting is good. The same thing can be expressed in different ways. Choose a way that is positive and upbeat. Don’t complain and do not include negative things. Just one negative phrase can be a turn off. Rephrase things you do not want into positive statements. For example, it’s better to say that you “prefer to meet a non-smoker”, rather than, “I don’t want a girl who smokes”.
3. Your career matters
I already mentioned in a previous post that girls from Ukraine and Russia believe that a man’s main priority in life is his career, and a woman’s priorities are her home and family life. This is why ladies pay great attention to what you say in your “occupation” and “profession” fields, and whether you mention your career in your profile elsewhere. A man who is reliable, hardworking and career-orientated is rare in Ukraine and Russia. Educated ladies who have professional jobs want to meet a man who is a good provider, too. If you are happy in your career or have a stable, well-paid job, feel free to mention it. If your job is one of your interests, you will score some points here. If you have achieved everything you wanted in your career and now can simply enjoy the fruits of your labour, great! If you have your own small business, put “own business” as occupation. Women love a man who is his own boss!
4. Custom-write your letters
Copy-paste letters are the online dating pet hate. People who really want to find a partner spend time on compiling their information and making photos. Remember, ladies who publish their ads on Elena’s Models, have to write in English, which is not their first language. If she spent time on putting together her information, she wants it to be acknowledged. Read her profile before sending a message to her. Mention something you liked in your mail. Read her personal blog (the short daily message every member can include for all their contacts). If you do not respect the time and effort women put into their ads, you are not going to get their responses.
5. Use your personal blog
See it on the right panel on your home page. The blog is available to all Gold, Platinum and Ultimate members. It allows you to convey a message to everyone in your Contacts at once. A great quote or simply a positive and encouraging message posted daily will make them interested, and only take you a minute to write.
6. No innuendoes
It’s too early for anything too personal or intimate, pictures, conversations or topics. These things are OK after you have been intimate in real life but not until then.
7. A little romance goes a long way
Girls react well to nice romantic gestures. A beautiful picture of a flower, or a poem you created just for her will help you get women’s responses for sure.
8. Women love their kids
If she has a child, ask about subjects she likes at school or extra-curricular activities she takes. We are proud of our children.
9. Be a gentleman
The definition of a gentleman is a person who calls a cat, “cat”, even if he stepped on it in the dark. Jokes aside, the ability to keep your cool is extremely attractive. As you like a woman who is a lady, girls like men who are gentlemen.
10. Answer women’s letters fast
If a woman emailed you, answer her mail fast. If you do not respond, some girls may not want to communicate later, after a few days.
11. Write as much as she does
If she sends short messages, don’t write 5-10 times more. Rather ask her when she is available to chat or video chat. So many guys are too scared to “get real”, hiding behind computer screens, if you are brave enough to show your face, this will bring you ahead of the pack. Make sure you look stylish and polished, and the background behind you is clean and tidy, too.
12. There are no tricks
Have you read everything that was said before? In fact, these tips are just common sense. Calm down and think before doing anything. Think why you like certain profiles and not others. Be nice. Be polite. Online dating is like any skill. It gets better as you do it. As you improve your pictures, story, and skills, you will start getting more women’s responses.
P.S. Sorry, could not resist. Your photo is #1 priority. Get it right and the tide will turn!
Related posts:
- 12 secret fears of beautiful women
- 7 types of online daters
- Top 10 online dating mistakes
- How to compliment a woman
>> See all BLOG articles (in English)
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thank you for the information
Funny how the only response to this article is from a woman…
I guess guys just all rushed to edit their profiles )))
I do not know why men spend money on dating sites to meet women. Simply visit East Europe and it is so easy to meet girls on your own. Many speak basic English. I have done this. It is too easy.
William
William, yes, meeting men and women is easy. Get out in the street and roughly half of the people will be women, the other half — men.
What is hard it’s to meet the right person to spend the rest of one’s life with. But you are probably happily single and not concerned with things like this.
Elena, please critic my profile as I try to put information it as to who I am along with what I am looking for. Yes I have been on two other dating site in which most women never took the time to read the profile but rather just viewed the pictures and thought why not. I got the same copied and pasted letters from women all the time after an absence on one site 6th months I received the same letters for the same women [possibly using different names. For many men the biggest question as I have done research… Read more »
Rob, thank you for your comment and questions. I will be happy to give feedback on your profile, if you send your ID (I can edit it out of your comment). In regard to copy-paste letters from (supposedly) different women, this is what you get when you pay-per-letter. Agencies order copywriters to create a set of letters, and then use them as they please, this woman, that woman. There are also “chat sequences” ordered from copywriters, (I see such orders on Russian freelance websites) which are inserted in programs on pay-per-minute websites. The scheme they want: ask a question –… Read more »
Hey Elena! I am new on this website and I’m still looking if it’s worth to pay, but I’m really surprised by the honesty here. Before I found your website, I registered in another one. In that previous website, I wrote a description on my profile saying that I only would buy credits if some girl prove to me that she actually read my profile. Well… I receveid more than 100 messages and only one of the girls actually read my profile. 1 girl in 100 doesnt give me confidence about their service. I think that very soon I will… Read more »
Hi, Fernando! Well, if you are just starting, you can send 20 EOI’s (Expressions of Interest) to women for free, just remember to ensure your profile looks right first (a nice smiling photo, optimistic and positive text, all fields completed). Then see what kind of response you get (normally you get about 1-2 positive responses for every 10 EOI’s sent). Then you can decide what plan you want to go ahead with, I usually advise Platinum, because there you have unlimited contacts, mails, chats, and video chats, and you can also download direct women’s email addresses and phone numbers, so… Read more »
Hi Elena, I am new to your site and arrived here after it was recommended as a legitimate site on another forum. I noticed that you have a lot of women of the Former Soviet Union (FSU) living in the U.S. as well as abroad. I have been on 3 other sites and have received numerous letters from women of all ages and situations. Two of these sites were pay per letter and pay per chat so I’ve learned to discount theses sites. However, the other one was a flat fee per month but I still received a lot of… Read more »
Hi Peter, I appreciate your taking the time to write such a comprehensive comment. Here are answers to your questions: . 1. Do the women on your site receive a financial reward for having men join your site and/or write to them? Absolutely categorically: NO . 2. Are you aware of any other sites where women receive a financial reward for men joining the site even when it is not a pay per letter or pay per chat site, e.g. flat fee per month? Can’t comment on that; I do not know 100% practices of other websites. But many other… Read more »
beautiful family
Thank you it was a very interesting article
hola yo soy espanol no hablo ingles, solo una pregunta quien me da garantias que las mujeres son reales? gracias
(ENG: Hello I am Spanish I do not speak English, only a question who gives me guarantees that women are real? thank you)
Xavier, Modelos Elenas es como cualquier sitio de citas regulares. Usted completa su perfil, enviar expresiones libres de interés (EOI) para las mujeres, y que responda si están interesados. Si usted tiene algunas respuestas positivas (que tienen bonitas fotos sonriendo y vídeos en su perfil ayuda mucho!), actualizar su membresía a tener contacto sin restricciones. En lo que se refiere a la forma real de las mujeres son, son tan reales como las mujeres en sitios de citas regular: algunos son agradables, algunos no lo son. Pero una cosa que puedo asegurar, no somos un sitio de citas PPL. PLUS:… Read more »
This article is right, if men follow these advise, they will achieve better experiences on this very good dating site.
I think 1 and 3 is the main key for different reasons, but I wonder if men who can push the throttle down on 1 and 3 actually use dating sites, I don’t know. I would be a little bit surprised if they do.
Jasper, in other words, you think that men who have a good job and capable of putting on a shirt and pair of long pants don’t use dating sites? Gee, you are light years behind what’s happening in real life. 🙂 Today about 50% of couples (if not more) meet online. In fact, this number can be actually much higher as some couples still hide the fact they met online and instead make up a story how they met “in real life”. I know people who met through a dating site but their friends and family don’t know that. In… Read more »
Elena thanks for the informations, I was kean on this issue, I most admit I thought it was men with a big belly and a bud in the right hand, and wants a woman to clean his house.
If the single girls on this nice site have a lot of interesting options regarding single men, its actually better, because it makes net dating more trust worthy. I’m very surprised about what you wrote, I most say.
Look at our couples: they range from 20-something to 60-something but they are definitely not men with a big belly and a woman who wants to be a servant for life in exchange for a passport. More than 90% of women on our site have college or university degrees. Many actually already live in America or Australia, or Europe, so they are not looking for immigration options. If they were, then men seeking wives 30 years younger wouldn’t be complaining that women don’t answer. If you try sending EOI’s on Elenas Models to 20 women, you will get mostly negative… Read more »
Thanks Elena, all makes lot of sense, it is just very handy to have the list.
Do you advise professional photos? Well, actually I am hesitant on that. For instance, when a lady post a professional pic I stay at large. For how much she can look beautiful, you never know about the reality (
What is your opinion/advise?
All my best, Max
Max, professional photos won’t hurt, also any good quality, well lit photo with a smile, well dressed of course, is OK. It’s your first “interview” for the position of a life partner! 🙂 Makes sense to look presentable.
Thanks for posting the article. Very eye opening! 😉
Do you really need to use tricks guys?
It’s not that hard to get women’s responses.
Just look nice on your pic and write something interesting 🙂
I have a question for you Elena which I place here for convenience rather than being particularly relevant to the article above. My position is as a moderately wealthy man how and at what point do I communicate this fact to the ladies I correspond with? Obviously I want a lady to be attracted to me rather than my money but it seems right that a future partner should understand me and what she might be getting into. This is all very important in terms of our future lifestyle and that we could pretty much live anywhere without being tied… Read more »
Martin, it’s best to visit the lady first, or meet in the capital of her country or another large city. She will feel comfortable in her own country, and you will be able to see her as she is without the wealth issue clouding her judgement. Then meet her for a vacation somewhere or take a cruise together. If it still goes well, then you can invite her to visit you. There is no need as such for a “money talk”. If she is smart, she will notice. 🙂 If she asks what you do for a job, say something… Read more »
I’d like to add something. As for me, sense of humour really matters. Women like easy-going and fun men instead of arrogant ones. I strongly believe that if a man is able to make a woman laugh, it won’t be difficult at all to win her heart. 🙂
Very good advice Elena. Thank you. I do already usually describe my job in this way to people 🙂
That’s ALL true. Woman wants men to be funny, kind, romantic, not freaky, not problem, man of means. He should love children and long conversation. That’s what about his profile should say. Like “Hey, this guy is exactly what you need!”.
We men often forget about such courtesies. And we need to be remainded. Following these tricks every man will be able to endear any woman. I think the most efficient trick is to be a gentleman. Keeping it in the mind will help to conquer any heart.
Interesting opinion! I hope my man is lucky and he will read wonderful tips. . By the way, for me its also important information. Some things I just didn’t pay attention, but now I know what to do. Thank you, Elena!
Hi Elena, I’m new to this site and intend to join but I have a couple of reservations. First I used to own my own business but now cannot due to a condition I have acquired, called fibro myalgia, which is chronic pain and fatigue, basically the more I do, the more I get pain and tired. Do Slavic women treat this as bad like most Asian women do? Secondly I am a house dad as in look after my 3 children all the time, They are 3 boys ages 3, 6 and 10. I am not looking for a… Read more »
Darren,
Dating internationally and the reality of assisting someone who would eventually have to move countries to be with you means substantial expenses and time. If you have limited resources, they would be better utilized for the needs of your family and yourself.
Dear Elena, if I am from Romania , I have any chance to find somebody special on this site? Anyway, I want to leave Romania in a few years. Should I wait up to then?
Please , give me your sincere opinion.
George,
Why don’t you do your best to set your profile right first, and then use the 20 free EOI’s you get? The women will answer Yes or No, and you will be able to decide whether you are happy to proceed.
ELena: It is a pleasure to be a member on a site of this caliber. I’m from the USA- and yes, I have in the past belonged to 2 of the top dating sites in the USA. And None of them provide as much feedback as you do on Elena’s Models. Yes the standard is to have some great photos, and write a good profile. But not as descriptive as you point out! Guys listen to what Elena has to say! I have done allot of soul searching in those 9 years and I am at that point of finding… Read more »
Thank you for the kind words, Ed 🙂