12-tricks-to-get-womens-responsesMen join dating sites to get women’s responses, connect and hopefully establish a relationship in real life. These tips will help you get more answers from ladies to your messages and requests. After 15 years of working in the dating industry, here are my top 12 tricks to get women’s responses. Every trick will assist, and using all of them in your profile and communication can significantly increase your response rates. When we asked women why they don’t answer men’s letters, their responses gave us a lot of insight into their likes and dislikes. Some factors may seem odd but knowing them will assist you in navigating the exciting ocean of online dating.

1. Get great photos

In dating online, everything starts with a photo! Your initial responses depend 95% on pictures in your online dating profile. Ladies want to see your face and eyes, and consider blurry, poor quality photos as a sign of disrespect. If you really wish to meet great women, ask a friend to take nice photos of you. Make them outdoors and dress neatly. T-shirts, shorts, cargo pants, sneakers, and baseball caps make you look too casual. A white collared shirt and long pants or jeans, maybe a jacket or a tie, smart casual style, will make you look more appealing. Beautiful nature, sea or blooming flowers on the background will “rub off”, making the picture more energetic and happy. A genuine, happy smile in all your photos, complemented by a stylish outfit, will increase your responses by about 50%.

2. Write a fun profile

The next thing after the pictures is your profile. Girls complain that men’s profiles are mostly the same. An interesting, positive story will produce great results and get lots of women’s responses. Be true to who you are. Don’t say that you love symphony if you cannot stand classical music. Include your real interests and hobbies, what you love doing for fun, preferably something beyond watching TV with a can of beer. Anything active and exciting is good. The same thing can be expressed in different ways. Choose a way that is positive and upbeat. Don’t complain and do not include negative things. Just one negative phrase can be a turn off. Rephrase things you do not want into positive statements. For example, it’s better to say that you “prefer to meet a non-smoker”, rather than, “I don’t want a girl who smokes”.

3. Your career matters

I already mentioned in a previous post that girls from Ukraine and Russia believe that a man’s main priority in life is his career, and a woman’s priorities are her home and family life. This is why ladies pay great attention to what you say in your “occupation” and “profession” fields, and whether you mention your career in your profile elsewhere. A man who is reliable, hardworking and career-orientated is rare in Ukraine and Russia. Educated ladies who have professional jobs want to meet a man who is a good provider, too. If you are happy in your career or have a stable, well-paid job, feel free to mention it. If your job is one of your interests, you will score some points here. If you have achieved everything you wanted in your career and now can simply enjoy the fruits of your labour, great! If you have your own small business, put “own business” as occupation. Women love a man who is his own boss!

4. Custom-write your letters

Copy-paste letters are the online dating pet hate. People who really want to find a partner spend time on compiling their information and making photos. Remember, ladies who publish their ads on Elena’s Models, have to write in English, which is not their first language. If she spent time on putting together her information, she wants it to be acknowledged. Read her profile before sending a message to her. Mention something you liked in your mail. Read her personal blog (the short daily message every member can include for all their contacts). If you do not respect the time and effort women put into their ads, you are not going to get their responses.

5. Use your personal blog

See it on the right panel on your home page. The blog is available to all Gold, Platinum and Ultimate members. It allows you to convey a message to everyone in your Contacts at once. A great quote or simply a positive and encouraging message posted daily will make them interested, and only take you a minute to write.

6. No innuendoes

It’s too early for anything too personal or intimate, pictures, conversations or topics. These things are OK after you have been intimate in real life but not until then.

7. A little romance goes a long way

Girls react well to nice romantic gestures. A beautiful picture of a flower, or a poem you created just for her will help you get women’s responses for sure.

8. Women love their kids

If she has a child, ask about subjects she likes at school or extra-curricular activities she takes. We are proud of our children.

9. Be a gentleman

The definition of a gentleman is a person who calls a cat, “cat”, even if he stepped on it in the dark. Jokes aside, the ability to keep your cool is extremely attractive. As you like a woman who is a lady, girls like men who are gentlemen.

10. Answer women’s letters fast

If a woman emailed you, answer her mail fast. If you do not respond, some girls may not want to communicate later, after a few days.

11. Write as much as she does

If she sends short messages, don’t write 5-10 times more. Rather ask her when she is available to chat or video chat. So many guys are too scared to “get real”, hiding behind computer screens, if you are brave enough to show your face, this will bring you ahead of the pack. Make sure you look stylish and polished, and the background behind you is clean and tidy, too.

12. There are no tricks

Have you read everything that was said before? In fact, these tips are just common sense. Calm down and think before doing anything. Think why you like certain profiles and not others. Be nice. Be polite. Online dating is like any skill. It gets better as you do it. As you improve your pictures, story, and skills, you will start getting more women’s responses.

P.S. Sorry, could not resist. Your photo is #1 priority. Get it right and the tide will turn!


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thank you for the information

Elena, please critic my profile as I try to put information it as to who I am along with what I am looking for. Yes I have been on two other dating site in which most women never took the time to read the profile but rather just viewed the pictures and thought why not. I got the same copied and pasted letters from women all the time after an absence on one site 6th months I received the same letters for the same women [possibly using different names. For many men the biggest question as I have done research… Read more »
Hi Elena, I am new to your site and arrived here after it was recommended as a legitimate site on another forum. I noticed that you have a lot of women of the Former Soviet Union (FSU) living in the U.S. as well as abroad. I have been on 3 other sites and have received numerous letters from women of all ages and situations. Two of these sites were pay per letter and pay per chat so I’ve learned to discount theses sites. However, the other one was a flat fee per month but I still received a lot of… Read more »

beautiful family


Thank you it was a very interesting article


hola yo soy espanol no hablo ingles, solo una pregunta quien me da garantias que las mujeres son reales? gracias
(ENG: Hello I am Spanish I do not speak English, only a question who gives me guarantees that women are real? thank you)


This article is right, if men follow these advise, they will achieve better experiences on this very good dating site.
I think 1 and 3 is the main key for different reasons, but I wonder if men who can push the throttle down on 1 and 3 actually use dating sites, I don’t know. I would be a little bit surprised if they do.


Elena thanks for the informations, I was kean on this issue, I most admit I thought it was men with a big belly and a bud in the right hand, and wants a woman to clean his house.
If the single girls on this nice site have a lot of interesting options regarding single men, its actually better, because it makes net dating more trust worthy. I’m very surprised about what you wrote, I most say.


Thanks Elena, all makes lot of sense, it is just very handy to have the list.
Do you advise professional photos? Well, actually I am hesitant on that. For instance, when a lady post a professional pic I stay at large. For how much she can look beautiful, you never know about the reality (
What is your opinion/advise?
All my best, Max


Thanks for posting the article. Very eye opening! 😉


Do you really need to use tricks guys?
It’s not that hard to get women’s responses.
Just look nice on your pic and write something interesting 🙂

I have a question for you Elena which I place here for convenience rather than being particularly relevant to the article above. My position is as a moderately wealthy man how and at what point do I communicate this fact to the ladies I correspond with? Obviously I want a lady to be attracted to me rather than my money but it seems right that a future partner should understand me and what she might be getting into. This is all very important in terms of our future lifestyle and that we could pretty much live anywhere without being tied… Read more »

I’d like to add something. As for me, sense of humour really matters. Women like easy-going and fun men instead of arrogant ones. I strongly believe that if a man is able to make a woman laugh, it won’t be difficult at all to win her heart. 🙂


Very good advice Elena. Thank you. I do already usually describe my job in this way to people 🙂


That’s ALL true. Woman wants men to be funny, kind, romantic, not freaky, not problem, man of means. He should love children and long conversation. That’s what about his profile should say. Like “Hey, this guy is exactly what you need!”.


We men often forget about such courtesies. And we need to be remainded. Following these tricks every man will be able to endear any woman. I think the most efficient trick is to be a gentleman. Keeping it in the mind will help to conquer any heart.


Interesting opinion! I hope my man is lucky and he will read wonderful tips. . By the way, for me its also important information. Some things I just didn’t pay attention, but now I know what to do. Thank you, Elena!

Hi Elena, I’m new to this site and intend to join but I have a couple of reservations. First I used to own my own business but now cannot due to a condition I have acquired, called fibro myalgia, which is chronic pain and fatigue, basically the more I do, the more I get pain and tired. Do Slavic women treat this as bad like most Asian women do? Secondly I am a house dad as in look after my 3 children all the time, They are 3 boys ages 3, 6 and 10. I am not looking for a… Read more »

Dear Elena, if I am from Romania , I have any chance to find somebody special on this site? Anyway, I want to leave Romania in a few years. Should I wait up to then?
Please , give me your sincere opinion.

ELena: It is a pleasure to be a member on a site of this caliber. I’m from the USA- and yes, I have in the past belonged to 2 of the top dating sites in the USA. And None of them provide as much feedback as you do on Elena’s Models. Yes the standard is to have some great photos, and write a good profile. But not as descriptive as you point out! Guys listen to what Elena has to say! I have done allot of soul searching in those 9 years and I am at that point of finding… Read more »